Let’s talk about sex, baby… let’s talk about you and me..
Thank you Salt ‘n Peppa. Now, before I get hate from the right wing conservative Christian ‘omg u cant talk bout secks on teh hubpages!!’ Please read this:
Beyond the study of anatomy and sexual reproduction in public and private school systems lies a bigger issue. Parents just don’t teach their kids everything they need to know about sex. The number of teen pregnancies, teen abortion and teens affected by sexually transmitted diseases should humble and shame every parent who has ever passed over the topic of sex.
As a parent, it is your duty to prepare your child for everything they’ll face in their adult lives. Be real here, the schools and government should only ever have a basic involvement in how a child is raised to handle difficult issues.
Hold on, give me a minute to put away my soap box.
All right, so the first steps to teaching your child about sex should start very early in life, right along with learning to walk and talk. Come back and finish reading after you’ve finished having your heart attack, because there’s more.
I know the allure of using funny words with your child so they don’t learn words like “penis” and “vagina” at an age when they are very impressionable and parrot everything they hear back is a strong one. By dumbing down important words, you are not only inhibiting the natural speech lessons for your child, but you also create an air of hilarity to their intimate areas which is the seed for embarrassment in regard to the changes in their bodies during puberty. In short, don’t be afraid to use the proper terms in a calm and matter-of-fact way.
Fast-forward a few years, to grade school. It is at this point when we begin teaching our children that strangers are bad, and what the ‘no-no’ spots are. Reinforce these lessons at home by having a serious talk with your growing child. Through these talks, you will keep your child alert to behaviors that are unacceptable, and drive the things about staying safe that the school teaches them home. The consistency between lessons learned at school and talks had at home will give your child a level playing field to deal with these issues of safety.
The importance of open communication between parents and children on matters of a sexual nature only rises as your child grows up. As they inch closer to adulthood, more issues pop up. Their first kiss, first boyfriend/girlfriend, even their first sexual encounter are all things your child should be comfortable speaking with you about. This is a tricky time for your child, and you can make things much easier for them by being available and willing to talk and answer any questions they might have.
On the note of teenage sex: We can teach our children that abstinence is the best way to prevent disease, pregnancy and heartbreak while they’re young, however at the same time you should also teach your child about consequences for their actions. When your teenager hits the point where they have developed a healthy liking for romantic involvement, make it your goal to inform them of possibilities. With sex comes the possibility of sexually-transmitted disease, which can not only damage your teenager emotionally, but can render permanent damage to their changing bodies.
Getting pregnant or getting a girl pregnant is another of the possible life changing consequences of sex. Explain to your child what happened when you were preparing for them to come into the world. Relate to them the trials and hardships you faced, but don’t ramble about it. A story here or there will give your child a pretty good idea that having a baby is a serious responsibility and should not be one of their goals at this stage of life.
The final tip I have for you in regard to teaching your kids about sex is to always monitor them. I don’t mean hover over the poor kid like a vulture, but keep tabs on their life. They’ll appreciate the bond you form, and you’ll be able to deal with issues they face as they come rather than years and years down the road. Your involvement in their life is just as important as food and shelter. Don’t let your son or daughter down by leaving them in the dark.
The Birds and the Bees.. hehe
Cool educational books about sex
Leave me a comment, and don't forget to thumbs up!
Kiz Robinson (author) from New Orleans, Louisiana on November 29, 2011:
I think that follows in with the matter-of-fact style of parenting. Parents have to teach their children what topics are acceptable where, we form our habits surrounding appropriate conversations and such from an early age. If you want your children to know they shouldn't speak about intimate body parts in casual company or formal company, teach them that, just like you would hope they wouldn't talk about their other bodily functions (no poop jokes in Sunday school or at the dinner table, etc.)
ThomasRydder on November 29, 2011:
I actually read this while we were having our "spirited" exchange in forums. And I agree on all points, save one. I don't quite agree with your suggestion that actual names of genitalia be used at a young age. Those can easily be repeated in school, Sunday school, and recess. I don't have any problem with other words being plugged in, and replaced by the actual terms at a bit more mature level. Other than that, a splendid piece and voted up as such. Ok...so we disagree on stuff...doesn't mean mutual admiration can't rear it's ugly head :)TR
BradBaker on March 16, 2010:
Interesting and entertaining article. I think most people are afriad of talking about sex education. DVD's are good as well for those people who are scarred. I wrote about
a few here
marygarrison on September 22, 2009:
Interesting, and entertaining, read. As a mom, I completely agree with you about using the proper terms when referencing body parts. I know adults, that can’t say the word, ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’ without noticeably cringing. I also agree, with ‘supervising’ our children/teens. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid our children/teens behavior, so we can plead ignorance. Not knowing may provide ‘plausible deniability,’ as another parent recently said to me. As painful, and or as uncomfortable, as it may be for me, at times, to know what my children are doing, I believe it is my responsibility to know. By knowing what my children are doing, or are considering doing, provides me an opportunity to ‘educate’ them on what life experiences have taught me.
In The Doghouse from California on February 29, 2008:
Very sound advice Charlotte. I think that education is the best possible way to help your child understand the joy of sex, in the right place at the right time, and the heartache it can cause, in the wrong place at the wrong time. I also agree very adamantly with your plea for supervision of your child. Help them to stay in the right place, so that the wrong place at the wrong time is less likely to occur. I always say, "Stay in the light!" Thanks for your observations and suggestions.
Kiz Robinson (author) from New Orleans, Louisiana on February 29, 2008:
I fixed it. :D
Shirley Anderson from Ontario, Canada on February 29, 2008:
Great article, gamergirl. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
As a little sidenote - the video is no longer available.