Grace has seen the negative impact of large families through her extended family.It's thoughtless to have more children than one can afford.
To Some, Family Means LOTS of Children
There are those who equate family with having lots of children. They maintain that having a lot of children exemplify the true definition of what families are and should be. They contend that small families are weak, adulterated version of what families are. They believe that large families represent tradition and a period when families were authentic families.
The same people further believe that children are the core of what a family is. They are of the school of the more, the merrier. They maintain that not to have large families is an upfront to the symbolism of family. They furthermore view children as a lineage and a way to imprint their legacy and heritage upon a society and culture. They view large families as a dynasty. They assert that by having lots of children, they have created something that will stand the test of time.
Family= LOTS of Children
What Compels Some to Have Large Families
There are some people who strongly avow that they love children and that is no better way to express that love than to have as many children as possible. They view the large family as somehow warm and bucolic. They see having large families as bucolic. They feel psychological secure in producing a large number of children. They see their children as a symbol of their expression of love. They even consider their children as security. In essence, the more children they have, the more emotionally and psychologically secure they feel.
Then others have large families to fill some type of void in their lives. They have no outside hobbies, friends, interests, and in the case of women, no careers. As a result, they subvert their unfulfilled desires into having children. In their purview, having children will fulfill whatever void they may have. There are also people who have large families because they are lonely and believe that their children will remedy their loneliness.
There are those who having children as a method to avoid what issues or problems they may have. There may be marital problems which a couple may decide that if they have children, they will become as parents hence as partners. Some will have large families to prove their true masculinity and/or femininity. They can have large families because it is a family tradition and they do not want to break such a tradition. They oftentimes grew up in large families and only feel comfortable producing large families.
What MAKES People Have Large Families
The Imagined & Real Regarding Large Families
There are those who idealize the idea of the large family. They see the large family as the perfect, quintessential family. They are so in love with the idea of having a large family that they fail to see the stark reality of having large families. They have the incessant obsession with having large families although they know that they cannot afford such families emotionally, financially, and psychologically.
Even though they acknowledge that they can ill afford to support a large family, they are insistent on having that large family. They feel that they are somehow incomplete, even shortchanged if they do not have the large family they wish for. They may even rationalize that although they cannot afford to adequately support a large family, somehow they will manage. After all, in their purview, their large family is well worth the deprivations they will undergo. They may even go further to attest that so what they and their children will do without, their large family will be alright.
Large Families, the IDEAL and the REALITY
Parents & Children in Large Families
In large families, parents do not give their children the individualized attention each child needs. Children must learn to navigate their environment early. Children in large families are expected to mature quite early as their parents are not there for them. It is common in large families that children raise themselves and each other. Parents in large families may even contend that it is unnecessary to spend individualized time with them. Some parents even go further, believing that such is a waste of time, indicating that is what siblings are for.
In large families, parent-child relationships are next to non-existent. Parents also rely on and even demand that oldest children be parent to their younger siblings. Oldest and older children are left to their own devices very early as their parents believe that the former no longer need them. Younger and youngest children in large families receive most of the parent's attention and love. Parents of large families are not demonstrative towards their children as they maintain that such displays of affection is considered spoiling.
Parental attitudes towards their children can be classified as lackadaisical, even uncaring. They are totally calm at the prospect of having many children, knowing that they cannot effectively raise them. They reason that is what the oldest and older children are for, they will assist in parenting duties. They never give a thought as to the number of children they have nor planned to have the amount of children they can reasonably raise. They intend to have the children they want without considering the ramifications of their actions on the existing children they have.
Parent's Attitude Toward Children in Large Families
Environment of SWIM or SINK in Large Families
The environment in large families can be quite tenuous, even harrowing. Parents are little involved in their children's lives in large families. Children learn very early or as soon as they can reason that they cannot rely upon their parents. By the sheer number of children in the family, children must learn to strong and self-reliant or they will fall through the familial cracks. It is not unusual for children in large families to be lost in the crowd because their parents are not there for them.
Forms of child neglect from the mild to the extreme is common in large families. Since the parents cannot, do not, or will not give their children the attention they need, their children learn as they go along. Sometimes what they learn is detrimental to them. There is seldom any parental guidance in large families. Oftentimes, it is the oldest and older children who are the actual parents of the household. Younger and youngest children consider the oldest and older children as the parents instead of the actual parents themselves.
It's SWIM or SINK in Large Families- Parents ARE NOT There For Their Children
Children Lacking The Basic Essentials In Large Families
Typical parents of large families have children without thinking about the ramifications of their actions on their children. Children in large families are, on average, socioeconomically poor to impoverished. They oftentimes have the minimum in food, clothing, and other rudiments. At times, they may even do without these basic rudiments. They cannot have proper & better quality nutrition, clothing, and health care because these things are out of the purview of the average large family.
Children in large families consume poor, inferior quality food as nutritious food is costly. They do not receive health and medical care unless it is school sponsored. Many must depend upon outside charities to keep them & their parents socioeconomically afloat. The average parents plan to have the amount of children that they can provide a comfortable life for. Such parents also want their children to have myriad cultural, educational, & socioeconomic opportunities to develop into the best people possible. However, these things are moot to average parents of large families. They do not plan for their children. They have children without thinking. They are incessant in having that large family, caring less if their children grow up in want and struggle.
In the parents' mind, it is of no consequence if their children have to do without, even the essentials. It also does not matter to them if their children do not have the things that other children have. They reason that deprivation will make their children better and stronger people. It is quite apparent by the parents' actions and attitude that they do not care about their children present and future welfare.
Growing Up in Harsh, Impoverished Environments is NORMAL for Children in Large Families
Children in Large Families Have Abbreviated, Even No Childhood & Adolescence
Children in large families must become adults early. This applies to oldest and older children who are conscripted by their parents to assume parenting & caretaking responsibilities. Oldest and older children must forego their formative childhood and adolescent years caring and parenting younger siblings. It is very common for parents of large families to give birth and subsequently give such children to their oldest and older children to raise.
Michelle Duggar, mother of nineteen children, routinely assigned a young child to her oldest daughters to raise. Ms. Duggar is not the only parent who does this- the typical mother of a large family routinely do this. In a blog, there was a mother of a large family whose friend remarked that it is foolhardly to have more children than the former can effectively parent. The mother remarked that the oldest and older children will parent the children she will have.
Oldest and older children in large families have no individual life nor time to themselves. They do not have a normal childhood like other children such as having friends, extracurricular activities, and doing typical childhood things. Sadly, their childhood is consumed with performing parental duties that the parents should perform if they were more judicious in using family planning.
Aside from the oldest and older children, children in large families oftentimes must work to get the necessities that their parents cannot provide. They may even have to work in order to supplement meager family income. As they reach high school age and beyond, their parents may ask them to drop out of school to work to contribute to the family income. It is quite normative for children in large families to forego their secondary education in order to help their parents keep socioeconomically afloat. College and other forms of tertiary education is out of the reach of children in large families because they must work to help their families. As a result of the aforementioned, they are consigned to low paying, dead end jobs thus another poverty cycle continues.
Children in Large Families Have ABBREVIATED or NO Childhood and Adolescence
Parents of large families profess to love their children. They even maintain that if they did not love their children, they would not have so many of them. However, their actions belie their proclamations. They have children without considering the ramifications of their actions on their children's welfare.
By the parent's actions, they are consigning their children to conditions where neglect is present. Because of the sheer volume of children in the family, these parents do not give their children the individualized attention or care that the latter need. As a result, such children have to be on their own, learning to care for themselves as their parents certainly are not there for them. Oldest and older children oftentimes have to assume parenting roles because their parents cannot effectively raise a large number of children by themselves.
Parents in large families cannot adequately provide for their children. This results in their children having the minimum at best and doing without at worst. Children in large families must work early to get the things they need. They are even needed to work to supplement family income. Some children may have to forego secondary and further education to keep their parents and the rest of the family socioeconomically afloat.
Parents of large families evidently do not love their children. They do not even care for their children. If they did, they would have the number of children that they can provide a comfortable lifestyle for. In addition to that, they would have the amount of children that they could effectively raise without enlisting the help of their oldest and older children, causing them to have no childhood. They would furthermore have the amount of children to ensure the educational and socioeconomic future of their children. No, parents of large families are selfish and irresponsible. If they were not, they would not have more children than they can afford emotionally, financially, and psychologically.
How Did Your Parents Treat You and Your Siblings
© 2017 Grace Marguerite Williams
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 12, 2017:
@ Peachy, thank you for your response. It is greatly appreciated.
peachy from Home Sweet Home on October 12, 2017:
I agree with you, parents with lots of children, they don't care about them, only doted the favorite child.