Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.
Understanding Your Inner Twin Flames
Hold onto your seats, we’re about to go deep into a world of theory and new age esoteric material. Granted, the twin flame theory is ancient, not anything particularly new. A Twin flame is a spiritual concept describing a special soul connection between two souls. The twin flames are thought to be a template for an ancient/eternal type of relationship between lovers of any and all races or genders.
We all have twin flames inside of us. We struggle with two different sides of a coin because we are all complicated — there is more that lies underneath the surface. This is a good thing because it means we are three-dimensional beings, not one or two. People everywhere are searching for a perfect, soul mate connection, but first, you need to balance yourself. You need to know and refine yourself before trying to establish a connection with another person. You need to know how your twin flame works first, whether you have a name for this part of yourself or not.
Spectrums and Functions in MBTI
All of us have a dominant side. In regards to Myers-Briggs, each of us is gifted more toward one end of four spectrums: (1) introversion or extroversion, (2) sensing or intuition, (3) feeling or thinking, and (4) judging or perceiving. This causes the inverse of our desired preference to generally be less developed. In order to get the twin flame connection with yourself, you have to work on your inferior function, which may not have any light or strength to it.
- Introversion or Extroversion
- Sensing (gathering data with senses) or Intuition (gathering data through patterns)
- Feeling (social rational, group consensus) or Thinking (data rational)
- Judging (deadline-oriented and orderliness) or Perceiving (open to chaos)
Each personality will have four functions based on their preferences on the above spectrums. For instance, the ENFP is dominated by extroverted-intuition, their secondary function is introverted-feeling, followed by the tertiary function extroverted-thinking, and down in the gutter — the inferior function: introverted-sensing.
Our flames, or energy, work in conjunction with our extroverted-introverted spectrum. For the ENFP, (1) extroverted-intuition will go with (3) extroverted-thinking in one flame; (2) introverted-feeling and (4) introverted-sensing will be the other flame. The ENFP has strong introverted-feeling — that’s what they can use to strengthen their introverted-sensing.
The problem is that we rely so much on our top function that our inferior function doesn’t receive the practice it needs. A relationship is headed for disaster if you don’t strengthen your inferior function—a person with an extreme preference for emotion may reject their logical thinking component resulting in bad and selfish decisions, or an intuitive dominant person may forget their sensing side, causing them to not take care of their body or surroundings.
When it comes to figuring out your flames, one flame holds both of your extroverted functions, the other holds your introverted functions.
Opening Up Your Other Flame
Since there are 16 unique personality blueprints in MBTI typology, it would be too difficult to write how each one needs help being opened. I can give you a general formula to get you on the right track, but it’ll take some investigating on your own to really get the right answer for yourself.
What you need is to understand the terms intuition, sensing, thinking, and feeling. When you have a better grasp on these terms, you’ll see how they work in your functions, then how the combinations of your two extroverted functions come together and how your two introverted functions come together.
We all have aspects to us that have introversion and extroversion. The simplest way to know how you lean for your top function is to ask yourself this: do you get more energy and peace from being around people or do you get more energy and peace by exploring ideas when you’re alone? What sounds worse — a whole week completely spent around people or completely spent by yourself? This is the first thing you really need to know about yourself. This will help you to know what you are dominated by. Being dominated by extroverted-intuition is a whole heck of a lot different than introverted-feeling, and so on.
Once you feel comfortable honestly knowing your personality type, what you want to focus on is how to strengthen your lower functions (3 and 4). The INFJ’s weaker flame would be (2) extroverted-feeling and (4) extroverted-sensing. The INFJ is one of the more difficult personality types to understand because it honestly is dominated by both right-brained and left-brained thinking. It has difficulty recognizing that it’s inside a body and that its physical surroundings are important.
INFJs go too fast in their heads to keep up with their bodies. What the INFJ needs to do is slow down and think about how their body works, how it feels, and how they can express their emotions through it. The INFJ needs to express the aspects they tend to bury within. This is difficult because introversion is automatically introspective; introversion dominates INFJ. This personality type is in tune with their personal voice, but the expression of it through their body and emotions gets complicated — to say the least.
For this personality, exploring their five senses and how it makes them feel will help bring the fire out of them. They need to learn how to be more present. An INFJ is keenly aware that their kryptonite is — being touched. Touch brings them into the present, and it also causes their wandering mind—and what makes it a compelling personality— to slow down. Their senses—touch, sight, sound, smell, and taste—shock them.
INFJs are unlikely to admit that they can be brought out of their imagination through their senses—partly because they fear people will use this method against them. An INFJ wakes up because of something overpowering in their senses — and it can make them forget their thoughts. There are concerns that such sense-based interactions could be done in a manipulative way.
The INFJ can be overtly modest, so it may be confusing to others that touch has such a powerful hold on them. Here is an example from the Bible: when a woman who was bleeding reached out and touched Jesus—his energy was so strong that she knew it would give her healing, and in that instance, he was shocked back into reality. He asked those near him — who touched me? (Typology usually places Jesus as an INFJ — an INFJ super master of incredible talent).
To make this all the more crushing, this is a personality that is sensitive to touch… and Jesus was crucified.
I’m combining a lot of concepts quickly for a short post. A lot of what I’m bringing up isn’t supposed to be mystical, insane, or irrational (though, irrational numbers are an integral part of existence). A lot of what is in this post is often misunderstood, whether talking about Myers-Briggs, twin flames, religion, or astrology.
These schools of thought are intended to reveal who you are on a deeper level. The ideas often don’t make sense at first and may require a lot of studying to get somewhere.
Western astrology attempts to explain the twin flame concept, but it isn’t as scientific (or psychological) as Myers-Briggs. What the zodiac tries to do is take the concepts and make them understandable through the elements. Everyone experiences the effects of the Sun and the Moon, so metaphors are built around those shared experiences. Each of us has a designated Sun sign and Moon sign at birth. Your birthdate is part of your destiny, and maybe it isn’t as tangible as looking at direct personality functions in MBTI, but I encourage you to explore the zodiac (not necessarily horoscopes). You might be surprised by what our ancestors found to be evident in identifying the constellations and the stars' relationships to nature.
Your Sun sign has to do with what time of year you were born — most people are familiar with this part of astrology. Many of the zodiac signs are incredibly similar, but if you take note, you might see the nuances in each of them. You might start to see trends in your own life that are related to your Sun sign.
The zodiac won’t let you know if you’re extroverted or introverted. In terms of your Sun sign, it will let you know which element dominates your life — fire, earth, air, or water.
Fire represents activity and free will, earth is matter and the physical body, air is thoughts, and water is emotions.
There are 12 signs, 4 elements, and 3 types of positions — cardinal, fixed, or mutable. A fixed sign is in the middle of a season — Taurus — spring; Leo — summer; Scorpio — fall; and Aquarius — winter. These personalities are more stubborn about their traits. They fully embody the harshness and beauty of their season and element.
Cardinals and mutables have more to do with transition. The cardinals are when the seasons begin to change: Aries — spring; Cancer — summer; Libra — fall; and Capricorn — winter. Mutables end seasons: Gemini — spring; Virgo — summer; Sagittarius — fall; and Pisces — winter.
Whatever your Sun sign is, it is your dominant flame. Your Moon sign is often what needs to be ignited. The Moon sign can be found using a natal chart — you can Google for natal charts (they’re free).
Your Moon sign is often different from your Sun sign. Someone who has a Sun sign in Aquarius may find their day going smoothly by experiencing a number of spontaneous, beautiful ideas. But if their Moon sign is Taurus, they may go to bed moody since their other side was ignored—you didn’t take care of your home and practical needs.
You can use astrology to help you figure out where you need to develop as a person. None of us only have one straight boring side. That’s what the zodiac tries to teach us, but we often try to make astrology two-dimensional and easy to understand rather than three-dimensional.
It's in Your DNA
You don’t have one DNA strand coursing through your veins — you have two. You receive genetic information from two people. Your physical self already knows there are two systems inside you from two different families. This is why you’re already a twin flame — you are the product of two people’s genetic chemistries meshing together, for better or worse.
The world of two families gets mixed together coherently so that you can be a party of one. Your DNA is the groundwork, the cast for your mind. Everything has a physical and spiritual component to it. In infinity, these two are inseparable, but here in a finite universe — we can see how the two get pulled apart. This isn’t the way in infinity/heaven/paradise.
To go without a body is a very dark, sad thing. Your genetic code itself goes through a series of decisions to determine what are the dominant qualities it will accept. From your parents alone there are a number of possibilities, and somehow your genetic code ended up making decisions about eye color, hair color, body shape, and tens of thousands of other things. Other possibilities were available, but those possibilities weren’t the victors.
Now that you’re out of the womb, you can help develop more auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior qualities within. That doesn’t mean you’re going to suddenly have brown eyes, but you can help nurture your MBTI functions, like bringing out your intuition or feelings. Remember there are all kinds of things in your DNA that don’t get to see the light of day... at least in your lifetime. There is still a possibility that your red hair gene that wasn't active for you will show up in your children. For DNA, those qualities you don’t see are dormant. For your personality, your dormant qualities can be awakened. However, don’t expect to bring your inferior function to the level of your dominant function.
Somewhere in the cosmos of you, you’re capable of opening your heart fully to both emotion and thought — you want to bridge these two components together to reach balance. Don’t lean on just one quality of yourself.
When you’ve figured out how to balance the twin flames within yourself, you can attract someone who has also balanced out their twin flames.
- Balance your extroverted and introverted functions together
- Balance your Sun and Moon signs
Throughout life, you will be making decisions to try and balance these different parts of yourself. Chaos comes when the gap between your extroverted and introverted functions is too big… or when the gap between your Sun and Moon signs is too big. Carl Jung would call your inferior self your shadow self.
© 2015 Andrea Lawrence
Tiffany Payne from Dallas TX on July 30, 2019:
I have taken this test so many times and it still amazes me..
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 11, 2015:
At the end of the day, I like to think and write about this stuff for fun. It definitely gives me a way to contextualize what's going on in life. A lot of it is theory, so I think it has to be open minded. Theory always has its holes.
Courtney Rhodes on August 11, 2015:
Interesting! I have never read about the twin flame theory until now. I do find that personality assessments narrow minded, your article gives me more angles I wouldn't have looked into.