As a psychology major at the University of North Texas, C. E. Clark found, and continues to find psychology endlessly fascinating.
Anyone paying attention knows that the U.S. is a country of overweight people, both adults and children. According to statistics from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (2011 - 2014) the prevalence of obesity in the U.S. was just over 36% of all adults between 20 years old and death. Obesity was higher in women (38.3%) than in men (34.3%)
Large Women Are Sexy Too
Large Women Are Self-Conscious About Their Bodies
Most people (both men and women) have been programmed to believe that for someone of the opposite sex to be attracted to them they must be beautiful and have a certain look that equals beautiful in our society. Generally that ‘look’ does not include being overweight or obese.
Statistics show that many women who do not meet the beauty standard, whatever it happens to be at any given time, do not want to have sex and will try to avoid it if possible. I am not just talking about women who are obese here. I am also referring to women who are slightly overweight, or who may have a wider bottom than is considered ideal, or who may have thick thighs, or a bit of cellulite. How negatively a woman sees her physical body will often determine how interested or willing she is to engage in sex even with her husband.
While very thin women (or men) may not readily come to mind when we think of people who do not fit the ‘ideal’ that society demands, they too, are often self conscious about their body image just as overweight people are.
Pretty much anyone who hates the thought of wearing a swim suit and or whose main reason for avoiding the water or other activities that require wearing less clothing and baring one’s body more than usual, has body image issues due almost entirely to society’s unreasonable expectations. Those unreasonable expectations are everywhere in the media constantly shaming people who do not meet the required standards of perfection.
Self-consciousness can be painful. Not just emotionally painful, but physically painful as well. Some people actually experience nausea and/or diarrhea or have other symptoms of anxiety at just the thought of anyone seeing them naked.
Overweight and obese people will often avoid going out in public fully dressed, even to the grocery store. They also avoid doctors and getting the healthcare they need because they can feel the disapproval of people around them in these settings, even if no ugly words or ‘looks’ are thrown their way — and often they are.
New recent study results from Plos One
A new study regarding men’s attitudes about large women has recently been published in a journal called Plos One, according to CNN Health “The Chart.”
The study re-examined what has long been known – that men who are stressed or hungry are drawn to large women.
Jacque Wilson writes for CNN Health, ” Scientists have long known that a society's ideal body size is shaped by their access to resources. Larger women are preferred when there is a threat, like limited food, because their bodies signify the ability to survive in hostile environments.
It should be noted that stress comes in many forms -- a bad economy where a man may be worried about losing his job, or about whether he can manage all of his financial obligations.
The study shows that the way men view larger women when they are under stress has not changed.
Very Large Woman Discovers Some Men Like Large Women
With all the negativity in our society towards people who are overweight, including the disgust many people voice regarding people who are obese, I was surprised to read about the adventures of an overweight woman called Alice on Huff Post Women.
Basically, Alice, aged 35 and very overweight, discovered over time and through many conversations with men, that what everyone had been telling her, and what the media had been programming her to believe, was wrong. It turns out that men do not want to have sex with skinny women exclusively. What they really want (many of them anyway) is to have sex with real women. Not many real women are sticks, even if they are not overweight.
Rebecca Jane Weinstein, yes, a fluffy person, writing for Huff Post Women writes that Alice learned that, “As it turns out, many of them [men] liked fat women, because they have big breasts, and big . . . [bottoms], . . . That was far more important than a slim waist and a flat tummy.”
Alice Finally Developed the Nerve to Try a Dating Site
After several years of anonymous experimentation over the Internet, Alice finally put up a listing on a dating site and she was honest. Her add: ‘"Are you single, attractive, around my age, and healthy? Do you love extra large women? Can you also hold a decent conversation? Single only, please."’
Alice was shocked. She received several responses from men who were not appalled or disgusted. They said they actually liked large women. That was the most shocking part given all the negative messages Alice had received about her body for years.
Alice claims to have learned a lot more things that I will not print here, but the most important thing she learned, I think, is that there are all kinds of men, and some of them actually like large women. Some of them actually think large women are sexy and beautiful. They actually appreciate large women even out in public having lunch, watching a movie, or simply having a conversation. Not just secretly behind closed doors.
Big Beautiful Women
More From Au Fait and Friends About Sex and Overweight
- How Often Do Women Think About Sex?
How often do women think about sex? Do women think about sex as often as men do? In what context do women usually think about sex?
- The Terrible Things People Say About Your Weight!
Terrible things people say about my weight. Am I that fat. My experience with people who have been nasty to me. "You are not alone."
- Do Men Really Think About Sex Every 7 Seconds?
Presented here are the most recent studies and research findings as to whether it is true, or not, that men think about sex on average, every 7 seconds. Also explored is the question of just exactly what is included in "sexual thoughts?"
It Is No Secret That Some Men Just Want Sex and Not a Relationship
Even AskeMen.com says that large women are popular! They say it is because large women are ‘easier.’ Whatever the reason, they agree that men like large women.
The one thing I would say on this issue is that there are a lot of men who will take advantage of any woman if they can. It is a game for them and they know many large women feel like they should be grateful for any attention they get.
Well ladies, there is some attention you should not be grateful for. Like your skinny girlfriends, you should be particular. Do not fall for the first guy who comes along. Give the relationship a chance. If he leaves because you were not easy after all, he is no loss. Count your blessings that he is gone before you make a heavy emotional investment in him.
Patience is the key. Do not waste your time on someone who is only trying to use you. Giving your attention to him may cause you to miss the great guy who was interested in you as a person, not just a body, but you were too busy obsessing over the guy who was not being so nice, or the guy you misjudged thinking he was really interested in you as a person. So you never even realized that a great guy who was interested in you as a person, not just a 'object,' was there and interested in you, because you were focused on a shallow man who only wanted to use you. The wrong man.
Give time a chance. If he is really interested, he will not try to push things along too fast. In fact trying to push for a quick consummation is usually the epitome of a guy who is only looking for sex. If you are of the same mind that may work out, but if you are not, never feel obligated to give in.
Sex in exchange for a drink or even dinner is an insult at best. No man should expect sex in return for those things, nor should any woman feel obligated to provide sex in return for those things.
The Bottom Line
So after considering all the warnings and the good news here as well, if you are a large woman (or man) this news should let you know (if you did not know already) that there is no reason to hide at home, or to be lonely. There are people out there who would like to meet you. Nice people. You just have to take your time at determining who they are. So put on your war paint and your glad rags on and get out there and have some fun!
To see a short clip of a Big Beautiful Women's Beauty Pageant click on this line.
Kaiser Family Foundation
Percentage of obese people by sex and state
Stressed out men like larger women.
NPR Organization on obesity statistics
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on January 29, 2018:
Paula (Fpherj48), as always, you have the most sensible, down- to- earth approach to this issue. Advertisers would have us all believe that we must be whatever the "perfect" woman is considered to be right now in order to appeal to men, and that's because they want to sell us a load of their s . . . stuff.
It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. I once read that everyone is attractive to someone. I think that is true. Just as we are not the only planet in this universe with life on it, neither is there just one model/type of female that all men prefer, snubbing any that don't measure up.
Since more than half of the adult population in the U.S. is said to be obese, you would think the birthrate would drop to all but nothing if no men were attracted to large women.
Thank you for taking time to write a very thoughtful, truly Blue Ribbon, comment!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on January 24, 2018:
Thank you for stopping by, Shyron. Yes, some men like large women, the larger the better. Like Paula said, if all women were a carbon copy of whatever society as a whole thinks the perfect woman should look like at any given time, wouldn't it be boring? And just think how busy the so-called 'perfect' women would be if all the less than perfect women were left on the sidelines.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and thankfully a few men out there aren't superficial and shallow, and value women for more than looks.
Sometimes it's hard to believe that all men aren't like Trump, finding value in women only so far as their looks and sexual usability goes. There are still a few rare men with intelligence and decency out there who realize that over the long run, beauty on the inside is more valuable.
Many blessings to you and John, also.
Suzie from Carson City on January 22, 2018:
Hard to believe In all these years, I have not "weighed" in on this great article!
Of course, larger women are attractive (even sexy!) I can't imagine the boredom and lack of diversity if all women were the same size!
What makes this very easy for me to understand and believe is that I can simply question myself about what "sizes" in men, I find attractive. The answer is, depending on the man...ALL sizes! It's not difficult to realize that men find this true for women as well! To each his/her own.
Before weight or size comes into the picture, I do believe that confidence, personality, smile & attitude play a major role in attractiveness. Peace, Paula
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on January 21, 2018:
I don' know about men who prefer large girls. I know that many think they are doing any woman, no matter he size a favor just by looking at her.
Many Blessings my dear friend.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 01, 2015:
Motherbynature, thank you for reading and adding important information to this article. The issue you raise is something all women need to think about.
I have read where some men actually encourage their already overweight girlfriends to eat and eat and put on more weight -- as much as they can, to where they can't get through the door even if they were invited to do so. To me that's sick. A woman really should ask herself how much could a man really care about her if he is encouraging her to do things that are actually hurting her.
Liv Carradine from Los Angeles, CA on August 30, 2015:
Yes, there are men who are attracted to fat girls. They have to be careful though. There is a HUGE difference between genuine attraction and a fetish. I have a couple of girlfriends who fall pray to the latter on a regular basis and it kills me that they can't tell the difference. If a man won't take you out on an actual date in public, outside of the bedroom, then it's a fetish.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on April 25, 2015:
Ezzly, thank you for reading and commenting on this article and for the votes and the Tweet! So glad you liked this article. Lots of people find it uncomfortable and HubPages hates it so much they took the advertising off it and made me take the video from Big Beautiful Women off -- it was a beauty pageant. Nothing sleezy.
ezzly on April 23, 2015:
This article is fantastic! Just recently Kelly Clarkson came under fire for "weight gain" which by the way I didn't realize you had to be a certain size to be a good singer! Anyway she said she's awesome, and it's this attitude that I hope will spread to others . Thank you for writing this K voted up and sharing on twitter.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on March 02, 2015:
Patricia (pstraubie48), thank you for reading and commenting on this article. I understand it makes you a little uncomfortable, but sex is a part of life and it was created by God. He isn't to blame if some people abuse it. Thank you for the angels too. They are always welcome.
My purpose here is for people to understand that our media is always telling all women we aren't good enough as is and we must buy this and do that to make ourselves desirable. Lots of women, and some of them aren't even overweight, take these messages deeply to heart. They really believe they can never have a husband and family because they're fat.
Some men take this attitude about themselves too, and I'm just wanting to make it known for people who are less than what is generally considered perfect, that they need not write off a marriage and family because of their imperfection, whatever it is. Here I focus on weight, but really, the same ideas can be applied to whatever imperfection one believes is so terrible they can't have a 'normal' life because of it. Thanks again . . . :)
Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on February 27, 2015:
Interesting. I have never really thought about this to be honest.
I think that there is so much beauty in others if we allow ourselves to find it that size should not be the issue at all.
Very well said, Aufait.
Know that Angels are headed your way this morning ps
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on July 12, 2014:
Danext, thank you for stopping by, sharing your thoughts, and a little about African culture. Appreciate your taking the time.
Dan Lema from Tanzania on July 10, 2014:
Here in Africa, men desire fat women more than thin ones, it's kinda of a tradition because we have been tough from you age that fat equals health....personally in my research and personal experience, fat women are more honest, reliable, faithfully, committed parents and good partners......in my personal taste i prefer voluptuous body types to thin women.....:-).....great article Au fait, well done again....
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 26, 2014:
Sam, thanks for stopping by. The only thing I know that prevents anyone from having cosmetic surgery is money. If they don't have any they can't get any. If they have money, lots of it, the sky is the limit. Not all surgeries turn out well, however. Buyer beware.
samowhamo on February 24, 2014:
There was this guy that I heard about somewhere he thinks that people who wont let others get plastic surgery are sadists because they wont let them change their looks to what they consider beautiful. Last time I checked they don't do that because they are sadists they do that because they are trying to make these people feel better about the way they look naturally that doesn't make them sadists.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 18, 2014:
Sam, thank you for stopping by. I agree with you. I think some people are more connected to the animal bodies we all inhabit and have not, for whatever reason, developed much in the way of those traits that make us human, empathy, compassion, and sympathy, etc.
samowhamo on February 18, 2014:
I have a personal quote that goes (Everyone is a Homo Sapien but not is human.) What I mean by that is that is that we are all Homo Sapiens (which is the scientific name of our species) but not all of us can be called human because humanity is supposed to be good and benevolent but not all people are like that some people are evil and cruel. Its not necessarily what we are that makes us human but who we are as people.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 07, 2014:
Thank you Sam (samowhamo) for your very thoughtful comment. I agree with you totally.
Hope all's well there . . .
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 07, 2014:
Thank you Shyron, for commenting and voting on and sharing this article!
This is about the fact that even large people have feelings and a desire for friends, and a husband/wife and children. Their size should not mean a life of unhappiness and dreams unfulfilled. No one should have to be stick thin and starve themselves their whole lives in order to be treated like a human being created by God.
Looks don't last. Character, intelligence, disposition, compassion for others less fortunate, sense of humor, and personality, do last, and that is what we should be looking at when we choose a life partner or a friend.
I'm thankful that you are my friend because I think you have all of these most important qualities. You are attractive, but frankly that isn't important to me. True beauty is on the inside and that is the beauty that goes with us as long as we live.
samowhamo on February 05, 2014:
Interesting article Au Fait. Both men and women should not be ashamed of being fat because being fat does not make you any less of a human being. I don't like people who judge other people by the way they look I find such people to be rather crude human beings. I saw the movie The Elephant Man and I was greatly moved by it. I often cry when I watch it because its such a sad movie and you really feel sorry for John Merrick the Elephant Man. It also shows how cruel people can be to others who look different. I have heard of some men who actually pressure their own daughters into getting Botox and even pressure them into getting cosmetic surgery. I have also come across this guy who wants to be a woman saying that he finds men physically repulsive says that facial and body hair are nothing but unsightly visages of our animalistic past. I think people like the ones I just mentioned are very insecure and shallow.
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on February 04, 2014:
Au fait, This is a very interesting hub. But not being a man, no woman would turn me on. I love my man. That being said. I have seen some large women, that I thought most men would be attracted to, like Mary, one of my friends, she is beautiful, she belly dances, she is kind and considerate. I miss talking with her. (maybe I will call her soon.)
I do appreciate the insight into larger women... To me they are no different than me other than size...which does not mean a thing.
I hope you having a good day at school.
Voted up, UAI, shared and pinned
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on December 11, 2013:
Bobby (Diogenes), you are so funny sometimes! Are you saying it would be OK if I turned out to weigh 250 or 300 pounds? 17-21 stone?
Hope your morning is going well and full of sunshine. xos
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on December 10, 2013:
Thanks for stopping by Pro-Hubber!
diogenes from UK and Mexico on December 09, 2013:
In these days of paucity, fat or thin, you're welcomed in,
Cup o tea? The water's heating,
All you need's a heart a'beating!
Goood morning, Misty mio.
Pro-Hubber from Florida on December 09, 2013:
interesting hub..thumbs up :)
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 12, 2013:
Thank you Troyangeluk, for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this important issue.
This article is not meant as a criticism of men, but rather a criticism -- if you want to call it that -- of people in general who choose to judge other people, both men and women, by their appearance, and especially by their weight.
Lots of overweight women believe they have no chance for romance, sex, marriage, or a family, simply because they do not fit society's ideal of what men should desire. I'm sure a lot of overweight men believe the same thing about themselves. I am merely pointing out in this article that not all men or all women require a person to be stick thin in order to be desirable.
It is my hope that large people, both men and women, will take heart from this article and realize that they can find love and acceptance, and they can hope to have marriage and a family if that is their wish, even though they may be slightly overweight or beyond.
Personally, I don't believe any person's weight should be of concern to anyone except the person themselves, their doctor, their spouse if they have one, and their parents if they are still of an age where parents have something to say about it.
I don't believe it is desirable or acceptable for people to verbalize their judgments about the appearance of other people they may happen to encounter throughout their day. If the only way they can keep their unwanted and inappropriate comments to themselves is to stand on their tongue -- with cleats if need be -- then that's what they should do.
Overweight people know they are overweight and do not need every passing stranger, or others, to inform them of the fact. Neither are mean or sarcastic comments of a derogatory or bullying nature helpful.
Fat people have feelings too, and many fat people are highly intelligent and creative. I think we should appreciate people for the good they bring into this world, for the worthwhile contributions they make, and for their good character. Character would seem to be something people who make those hurtful comments about fat or overweight people do not have in measurable amounts.
Thanks again for stopping by . . .
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 11, 2013:
Thank you Levertis Steel, for reading and commenting on this article. Appreciate that you have shared your thoughts on this important issue.
I really think body image is a personal thing and unless it involves a person's spouse or child, it's none of their business. They need to keep their thoughts to themselves.
After all, just as some people are excessively overweight (and they have to know it without being told by every passing stranger), so some people are excessively stupid. How about we remark on that every time someone says or does something indicating that frailty? I really think ignorance and being poorly informed does way more harm in this country, and in this world, than excess weight.
How about we start picking on everyone who says or does something ignorant and call them on the carpet for being thoughtless, selfish, and inconsiderate? Wonder how they would appreciate having our wisdom imparted to them? ;) Just a thought . . .
I did include large/overweight men in this article and I do think all people should be appreciated for their talents, skills, and knowledge, rather than for how they look. Not everyone is born beautiful by society's standards, nor are time and circumstances always kind in preserving any beauty someone is fortunate enough to be born with. Some people work hard to achieve it, but I think it should be a side interest, not one's main focus.
It takes no effort or character to be born beautiful or wealthy. It does take effort to build a good character and to do good things that benefit many people rather than just oneself. Kindness and compassion must be cultivated or they flee from a person.
Thank you for appreciating my humor. I usually have to keep it to myself . . . ;) I love the dry, often sarcastic humor of the British. Bob (I call him Bobby as an endearment) is a sweetie, but he does tend to say what he thinks -- as I often do too, and then I'm in hot water. Men can get away with anything!
Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on November 10, 2013:
You wrote, "I think men are being slated a little bit here, it really just comes down to personal taste and it's a shame to overlook the majority because of the minority."
Maybe you are right, but I was referring to the men who downgrade obese women mercilessly. Yes, there are good men out there, and personal taste is in order.
Au fait, You wrote, "Bobby, sometimes you have the best sense of humor!"
So do you! Your knack of "laying it on the line" is hilarious!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 10, 2013:
Bobby (Diogenes), there are a gazillion numbers for phone sex in most western countries. They charge by the minute and the fees are usually pretty stiff. No pun intended.
Personally, I thought it was our Congress members and politicians in general who are the real prostitutes, as for the right price -- and it's usually pretty low -- they'll do anything, including selling our country out.
I don't think the fact that a man is overweight is relevant. No, size isn't so important as talent. To me, the sexiest thing about anyone is their brain and their sense of humor. A well used brain, and a person who is really good (talented) at using it, top my list.
I suppose I should be more explicit since my experience suggests most men think with the wrong head, which explains a lot of things . . . WARNING, SPOILER ALERT -- the little head that is often in charge has no brain at all . . .
Bobby, sometimes you have the best sense of humor! I'm researching an article right now that will explain my 'different ways,' and if I can just find all the info I'm looking for, I will be writing about it one of these days. Stay tuned . . .
diogenes from UK and Mexico on November 10, 2013:
I didn't know that and I think phone sex is so cold and for desperates (or those hornier than me). I wonder if we have a special number here in the yUK?
Google is full of ads for sex and about sex...it's all a sad joke. The real whores are those who mindlessly dance to whatever tune is playing today.
You different ways...oooo, I'm nosy
Size doesn't matter then?.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 10, 2013:
Thank you for stopping by Shyron, and for being my best friend and putting up with my different ways.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 09, 2013:
Bobby, (Diogenes) you know of course that ads for 900 numbers, which did appear on this article early on, are for phone sex, right? So what in this article could those advertisers possibly find offensive???
Thank you for your support, Bobby. xox
diogenes from UK and Mexico on November 09, 2013:
What the editors at HP should take in is there is no right way, only this way and that way. Which is why fiction authors can say what they like in what language they perceive their protagonists to use. Of course, like vote garnering politicos, the HP editors are trying to please the mob from which ad revenue cometh.
Bunch of jerks
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 09, 2013:
Peggy W, thank you for your support and kind words, and sharing. The objection HP has is that this article is too sexual and we must pretend there is no such thing lest we corrupt innocent minds. The idea of fat people being at all sexual is especially abhorrent to some people. So they took the 900 ads off this article because they said the advertisers were offended as well as were some readers.
I do think that body shaming has gone way too far in our society and that it is long past time when we give more consideration to a person's intelligence and character more and their appearance less.
Thanks again for your welcome and appreciated support!
Troyangeluk from UK on November 08, 2013:
I think men are being slated a little bit here, it really just comes down to personal taste and it's a shame to overlook the majority because of the minority. This hub clearly shows that the majority of men like larger women, personally I think that's great and it leaves me with better hope for the human race that it is a little more than skin deep. Great hub and subject.
Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on November 07, 2013:
"Anyone paying attention knows that the U.S. is a country of overweight people, both adults and children."
Americans are spoiled! Fast foods; "zillions" of very affordable family restaurants; junk food everywhere, even in some schools; generous amounts of food stamps for the needy; school breakfasts, lunches, and snacks; unhealthful cooking in many homes, and many other killers are found all over America. So, we are good at producing fat people aplenty.
I see numerous fat wives, mothers, and girlfriends all over the country--millions of them. When one man speaks of "ugly fat women," he does not represent even half of all American men. If a fat woman is practically everything a man wants in a woman, he will likely live with the obesity because he knows that he is not perfect and neither is anyone else.
I Once heard a thin, unattractive man say, " When I get married, my wife will look like _____ (forgot the celeb's name). I do not want a fat or ugly woman. He certainly had a right to his preference, but I was stumped to see that he was almost penniless, poor character traits, a drunk, and mouthy. He wanted a beauty, but he was offering a "beast," and I do not think that a kiss would have changed him. No offense to him. but if he was bold enough to put down obese women, he had to have been bold enough to look in the mirror.
I think we all know that wedding dresses come in all sizes.
Some men wolf about size because they are visual or just small. They may feel intimidated near a large woman because of their fear of looking less masculine or henpecked. Some men are afraid of the physical strength of large women.
Although men have a right to choose their women, I do not understand why some are soo rude about large women that are not theirs. Some women do not like little, short, skinny, muscle-less, or even fat men, but women are usually not as rude as some men are. Neither do women usually spend time downsizing fat men.
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on November 07, 2013:
I agree with Peggy on this Au fait. No one should be judged by their size. Maybe Hub Team is fit and lean,
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on November 07, 2013:
I did notice that there is no advertising on this page. Crazy! There could easily have been health related ads. Being a certain size does not always equate with being healthy. There are healthy thin and fat people just as there are unhealthy thin and fat people and everyone in between those two extremes. Too bad you are being penalized by having the ads removed. Your message about not dehumanizing a person because of their size is a good one! Sharing again!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on July 31, 2013:
Thank you Deborah-Diane for reading, commenting on, and sharing this article. Appreciate that you understood what this article is really about, and that it is not just about sex.
You may have noted that all the advertising was taken off this article because it is offensive to a lot of people. Apparently the idea of large people finding happiness and acceptance is against some people's values and sense of decency.
Deborah-Diane from Orange County, California on July 29, 2013:
This is a wonderful article and very encouraging to women who are overweight. I hope more of them will begin to feel better about their bodies. Definitely sharing this! :)
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on July 07, 2013:
Thank you for stopping in Glenda. Had to smile at your observation. They say there's somebody for everyone, and if what the researchers say is true, that men gravitate more to large women when the economy is bad, well, given today's economy you should have more admirers than you can keep track of . . .
Glenda on June 29, 2013:
I hope there are men out there who like heavy women. Otherwise I am SOL. This is a fantastic article.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on May 24, 2013:
c mark walker, thank you for reading and commenting, and for sharing your experiences -- and for your honesty! ;)
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on May 22, 2013:
Thank you moonlake for stopping by and sharing your experience and thoughts on this issue. I agree that it's sad that society makes overweight people feel like they must stay out of sight and not be a part of their families or society simply because of how much they weigh. Everyone has a contribution to make and so many large people are wonderful people, very creative and artistic, and smart. It's unfortunate that some members of society want to keep them hidden in solitude away from everything and everyone for superficial, shallow, shortsighted reasons.
Thank you moonlake for the share, too!
Charles Mark Walker from Jasper Georgia on May 19, 2013:
Men are all over the board when it comes to attraction. There's no explaining it. You women might be amazed at what drunk men talk about when it comes to attraction in conversations amongst other men.
moonlake from America on May 19, 2013:
I came back for another visit on hub. Thank you for adding my link to your hub. My sister-in-law passed away many years ago. Her family was so upset because they had few pictures of her. She didn't want her picture taken because she thought she was to heavy. I dug through the pictures I had and found some of her for the family. It's sad that women/men feel that way. Shared your hub.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on April 07, 2013:
Thank you rtburroughs2 for reading and sharing your thoughts!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on April 06, 2013:
Thank you ishwaryaa22 for reading, commenting, and voting on this hub and especially for sharing.
What is desirable to men often varies in different countries. Here in the states a lot of men are more concerned with what they're friends think than what they may think themselves.
Mainly, I hoped this hub would spotlight the fact that people who are overweight (both men and women) are still human with hopes and dreams and feelings like everyone else.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on April 06, 2013:
katiadejuan, thank you for reading and commenting on this hub! I agree with what you say. The media is trying to tell us all what the ideal woman should look like. I think they are trying to shame women into turning themselves into thin sticks.
No one's exterior beauty lasts. With age comes wrinkles and sags, even when one can afford a body transplant (nips and tucks). Has anyone seen the recent photo of Zsa Zsa Gabor? With all her money and cosmetic procedures she still now looks the 96 years she is.
Developing a pleasant disposition, compassion for others, talent, and intelligence will serve a person all of their lives. Looks are but for a short while. Enjoy them while they last if you have the good fortune to have them in the first place, but look to the future which will for most people be a much longer time.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on April 06, 2013:
Thank you Paul Kuehn for commenting/pinning/tweeting, and otherwise sharing this hub! While my focus was on women, my main purpose here is to counter all the negativity overweight people must endure daily (both men and women). Not only from the opposite sex, but from society in general. There are people 'out there' who will appreciate you and love you for who you are, and sometimes even for what you weigh.
Overweight men may not get as much criticism for their weight, but many of them still imagine no one finds them desirable. I hope
Ishwaryaa Dhandapani from Chennai, India on April 03, 2013:
An extremely well-researched hub! Here you presented your insights very well. Beauty is skin-deep and men should accept women for who they are. I could relate to this hub as in my country, I have heard that men prefer chubby women to skinny women. Once again, an engaging hub. Well-done!
Thanks for SHARING. Useful, Awesome & Interesting. Voted up
Robert Burroughs on April 01, 2013:
When it comes to a woman I look at a lot of different things. I like a girl that can be funny and silly, who could appreciate a good book or sad movie. Someone who can look into your eyes and see you, not the person she wants you to be. Personality goes a long way too, if somebody has a terrible personality I lose interest quick. Personally I love big women.
I guess the most important thing for me is a woman who can have fun, and that enjoyed being around me. It wouldn't matter if she was big or skinny.
Katia De Juan from Inverness, UK on March 30, 2013:
This hub is great, Au fait!
All of us should read it. What fashion industry is doing to women self esteem is so sad. They tell us that all women are skinny with a tiny but, a thin back, thin legs, and so on.. and that's a mistake because not every woman can look this way, for some women this is a look unachievable. In my family for example, my sister and I are completely different. She meets the standard beauty that fashion industry claim, she is 1'65m, she is skinny...but me, I'm 1'52m and I just weigh 2kg more than what this standard say I have to be, I have a wider butt, a wider back (because I do surf) and a wider waist, wider hips, I have a healthy lifestyle doing sports and eating healthy (but just because I want to be healthy, not because the beauty..) and I don't think I'm ugly, in fact I thing I'm cute, but what people have said to me - even my sister- is that I should be on a diet to look more like my sister, that I'm a bit fat, that should have a tiny butt and a thinner back, but that is something I will neve be able to be because this is what my body is, no matter how many diets I do, it always look this way.
People should start seeing that what makes an attractive women is not their look, but their self esteem, a women who seem to be secure with her self will look much more attractive to a man than an insecure woman.
Paul Richard Kuehn from Udorn City, Thailand on March 29, 2013:
This is a very interesting hub and I greatly enjoyed reading it. I think it's true that a lot of men are attracted to fat women. If a man is thin, I think he will be more attracted to an overweight woman than an overweight man. To me it seems to be opposites attracting. So many of my father's friends who were thin had overweight wives. To me, an overweight woman seems to be more jovial and easy going than a thinner woman. Although there might be a craze for losing weight, just remember, "thin may be in, but fat's where it's at." Voted up and sharing. Also Pinning and Tweeting.
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on February 15, 2013:
Voting this hub up all across the UFABI. I think that what pleases a man once may not please him all the time.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 15, 2013:
Sweetie1, thank you for reading and commenting on this hub! Here people who are overweight or obese are often the butt of jokes and sneered and jeered at. I hope this hub will make some changes in that. After all, it is the person in the inside that should matter since looks change with time, but personality and character tend to remain.
sweetie1 from India on February 12, 2013:
Every man is different so are his demands and likes. As one guy told me that he wants to hold some meat when he holds a woman not just pieces of bones. What I feel as you rightly said that large women should not be grateful for attention they get. Boys like skinny girls but real sees a woman inside you not how you look.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 12, 2013:
Thank you for your thoughts on this subject Shryon. I agree.
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on February 03, 2013:
Could you imagine if all the men wanted just one size woman? I think there are men who want large women and some who want little women.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on February 03, 2013:
Thank you for reading, commenting, voting, and sharing this hub!
So many people are overweight and even obese nowadays, and I'm currently researching and writing a hub about that, and I'm learning that most people aren't to blame because they are overweight/obese, yet our society punishes them at every opportunity making them feel like they are less desirable in every way.
I would like to see people stop scapegoating the overweight people in this world. It's hurtful and mean spirited and ugly to treat people badly because they are overweight, often through no fault of their own. No one is perfect and some behaviors that some people have are far uglier than overeating. Only when a person has perfected themselves in every way should they turn their attention to improving other people's shortcomings . . .
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on February 02, 2013:
Hi Au fait,
I clicked on that statistics page by the different states and found that interesting. Two of the top states where people are under 50% of being overweight or obese are Colorado and Hawaii. Hawaii makes sense in that it is warm and inviting to be out with all of the beaches, etc. I have always heard that the people living in Colorado are into fitness...hiking, biking, etc. I guess the sheer beauty of the state makes them want to be outdoors. Interesting hub! I agree that the really skinny models do not represent the norm when it comes to average body sizes. I once heard a quote that goes something like this...God made St. Bernards and He also made Chihuahuas. People also come in all sizes and shapes, and no one is perfect. That is the lesson I take away from reading this hub. UUI and will share.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on January 20, 2013:
Rick, thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience!
rick on January 20, 2013:
My ex was 5ft 3, 115lbs. My fiancée is 6ft 275lbs and I couldn't be happier. She is beautiful. The sex is amazing. I had never been with a bbw in my life. My friends and family are shocked. I don't know what happened, I saw her and love at first sight.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on December 23, 2012:
Thank you organized living for commenting on this hub, and for sharing your thoughts. Without a doubt attitude can make a big difference in a lot of different areas and it always pays to be considerate and thoughtful of others.
This was a report on a story I read on Huffpost. I have no acquaintance with the woman I wrote about.
Lots of heavy people, not just women, think no one will find them desirable not only for sex, but for any other reason, and I wrote this in an effort to give them hope.
Unfortunately these days, it seems to be the fad to make large people the butt of bad jokes and to sneer and jeer at them whenever one feels the desire to do so, as though they weren't even people with feelings like we all have. It seems to be acceptable to many people to make mean spirited remarks about overweight people. I hope we can put an end to that ugly behavior.
No one is perfect, but some people think skinny is better even when a person has other imperfections. Personally, I think kindness and consideration for other people is better than anything, including skinny, if one wants to pat themselves on the back for some reason.
Adrian Walker from Magnolia, AR on December 22, 2012:
Great hub! Over the years I have observed that there really appears to be a certain 'je ne sais que' which determines a persons success in finding sexual partners. I think if you make an effoert to listen , stay sober and no matter what be polite. It will improve anyone's averages. That's my two cents! Fat, thin,tall, short or whatever it's all a matter of chemistry and to some extent nerve. Glad your friend took the plunge and I hope she finds it to have improved her life.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on December 18, 2012:
DDE, thank you for commenting on this hub. You are so right about making judgements!
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on December 11, 2012:
People are in all sizes and shapes, if sit and observe those going by one will see many shapes of people there is no need to pass judgement.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 25, 2012:
tattuwurn, thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing your very interesting viewpoint!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 23, 2012:
I am disappointed at the way people think it's OK to demean people because they are large or overweight. Everyone has feelings, and putting heavy people down will only make them eat more for comfort and to make up for the negativity. I know it isn't logical, but not everything is logical -- like verbally abusing people because they are overweight. No one is perfect. How about we demean and degrade everyone who tells a lie? Or everyone who cheats on anything? There are lot of traits and behaviors that are far uglier than fat.
Thank you for reading and commenting Shyron.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 21, 2012:
Thank you for reading and commenting on this hub Sunnie Day! Overweightedness can certainly be unhealthy although 'they' are now saying it isn't always. Depends on the person.
I really just wanted to shed light on the fact that being overweight doesn't mean one can have no life or hope to have love and a family. After all, more than 50% of U.S. adults are obese. Imagine if not one of them could have a friend or a family or love as a result of that? Very sad that some people write other people off who are not what is today considered the perfect human specimen to look at.
A shame people have become so shallow that they can't enjoy music if it wasn't written and performed by a Playboy/Playgirl Centerfold. A shame people can't enjoy a good book or allow someone to perform life saving surgery on them if the writer/surgeon isn't a cover girl/boy.
Large people have been dehumanized in our society and so many people think it is acceptable to jeer at them and make ugly criticisms and remarks directed at them. I think the people making those mean spirited remarks are the ones who are truly ugly and losing or maintaining what is now considered normal weight won't improve them.
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on November 20, 2012:
This is a fantastic hub, so much thought and caring went into it.
I was on the receiving end of the fun making because I was to thin.
Children and teens can be pretty cruel. It really would be nice if everyone was accepted for what is inside and not for size.
I do have friends and relatives who are beautiful inside and out, heavy and thin.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 20, 2012:
gmwilliams, thank you for commenting on this hub! Appreciate your taking time. I agree that size doesn't necessarily equal beauty one way or the other. Beauty is subjective after all.
My concern in writing this hub is that it seems to be the latest fad to ridicule and shame people who are larger than average. Give me 5 minutes (or less) and I guarantee I can find negative things to ridicule and shame people about who are targeting large people, and most of the things I will find will be far worse than a few extra pounds.
The thing to realize is that large people are human and they have feelings and needs like we all do and ridiculing them usually just makes them eat more if that's the cause of their obesity in the first place -- and overeating isn't always the cause.
I want large people to realize that there is life after weighing in on the heavy side and that they have great qualities, skills, and talents that are valuable like everyone else, even if everyone else doesn't realize it.
People need to think outside of themselves. There are more important things than being thin. Most overweight people have not made it their life's goal to be overweight. But for the grace of God, any one of us might find ourselves in their shoes. Kindness is the best response and appreciation for the talents and skills they bring to this world.
Thanks again for stopping by . . .
Sunnie Day on November 20, 2012:
Beauty does come in all sizes as gm stated above and I for one have always struggled with weight. I understand the stigma that comes with being a chunky girl. No one should be judged on their outward appearance but there is a flip side to all this. While fighting the cause in my younger years as I aged the health problems that went along with being over weight began to cry out. Now it was no longer about fighting to be equal but fighting to be alive and healthy. Do the men who love the overly obese women have an obsession of some kind and could care less if they had a heart attack. If we really love someone we do love them no matter what, but at the same time, we would care about their health. I have lost much weight and reversed the deadly diseases that go with being overweight but I still will never be the skinny girl but I do think health should be the number one concern. Many of those women in the video are no doubt beautiful women and should be proud of who they are but one day as they age the extra weight may cause them much concern. Underweight girls have health problems too, it is not just us fluffy ones. The whole message of this hub is a great one and I thank you for writing it.
Grace Marguerite Williams from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on November 19, 2012:
As a woman on the curvy side, I have gained confidence in my particular shape as I got older. When I was younger, I dieted in vain and often felt ashamed of my amplitude. Beauty comes in all sizes and should be embraced.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 12, 2012:
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this subject crystolite! Everyone needs friends and love, even large people. While I highlighted large women in this hub for the most part, I did also include large men because they also often find an unwelcoming world because of their size. I hope one day people will choose their friends and partners by more than just superficial shallow qualities and look more to the more lasting attributes that truly make a person beautiful.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 10, 2012:
yankeeintexas, thank you for stopping by and commenting on this hub! You make a good point.
Emma from Houston TX on November 09, 2012:
Everybody is beautiful in his or her own way and different people have different choices and wishes. Dating a fat girl gives its own desirable taste and a slim lady gives its different taste and looks. Thanks for sharing.
yankeeintexas from Lubbock, Texas on November 08, 2012:
I married my wife just as she is, a large woman. I do not want her to be picture perfect, or a supermodel. But, not long ago her doctor told her of health problem, that she has, that are related to her being large. What I want to say to the women reading this is don't change for a person or society, but talk to your doctor about what is safe. That guy who is married to you, or want to marry you the way you are wants to grow old with you and be sitting on a pouch swing watching the grandchildren.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on November 03, 2012:
Yes, beauty does fade, but only if one has it to begin with. I prefer it on the inside where it doesn't fade. Thanks for stopping by manthy.
Mark from Alabama,USA on November 02, 2012:
Sorry but I'm not attracted to "Fat" women.
Beauty fades... Just saying
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on October 28, 2012:
Moneykattz, thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on October 27, 2012:
Shyron E Shenko, thank you for your support! I think it's time we stopped ridiculing people because they don't meet our standards of perfection. The truth is, no one is perfect and but for the grace of God any one of us could find ourselves in a less perfect person's shoes. In fact, somebody somewhere already considers us less than themselves. Why do people have the need to feel superior? In God's eyes (do anyone else's eyes matter?) we are equal in His love.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on October 26, 2012:
Thank you 2besure for reading and commenting on this hub! Agree that there are far more important things to consider about a person than their looks, weight, or size. Looks, weight, and size change continually, and usually for the worse with age. Personality, intelligence, and compassion for others is more likely to remain consistent.
Jairalee Jones from Saskatoon on October 24, 2012:
I really like good medium sized girls, not overly large and unhealthy but bigger than the girls in the magazines, not that the skinny girls in the magazines aren't ok sometimes, but such kind bigger girls would really look nice in more photos.
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on October 23, 2012:
Great hub, great author! Thank you for taking on this subject.
Pamela Lipscomb from Charlotte, North Carolina on October 23, 2012:
Some people believe loving fat women is fetish. I consider it a preference. The most attractive part of a person is the personality! Thanks for exploring this much misunderstood topic! Voted up!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on October 02, 2012:
Answered you on this issue on your own hub. THX Bob. x
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on October 01, 2012:
cleanclover, thank you for commenting on my hub. I think people miss out on a lot when they choose their friends according to how they look and/or how much money they have or other superficial standards. Some of the nicest people I've known were overweight in varying degrees.
As for choosing a partner, if one makes appearance or other superficial criteria the determining factor, then I think one gets what they deserve. Looks don't last, but the lovely personality that sometimes comes with the drop dead gorgeous woman or man, lasts forever and often gets lovelier with time. ;)
diogenes from UK and Mexico on September 30, 2012:
If you move, please keep me informed of your whereabouts dear.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 30, 2012:
Thank you for your comments Bob. If I could, I would indeed write a hub on the best positions for large people (including pregnant people). There was nothing at all that I can think of on the hub about Food or Sex, so I think they just have a prude in the moderator pool and I'm getting that person every time. Personally, I thought the Food or Sex hub was pretty bland.
I really believe a big part of the reason our divorce rate is so high is that so many people have an aversion to sex even in their own very private minds.
I've been looking around and I expect I'll be moving to a place where there is a little more freedom of expression. I did after all go to great lengths to be careful about the words I used and to keep it just the way I would if I were lecturing a class in sex education, but ever since I published the hub about Fat Women and sex, hubpages has been picking on me for everything imaginable on all of my hubs. I think they don't like me.
I'm guessing the moderators here at hubpages think one of the punishments for being overweight should be that a person should be shunned, hated, and ridiculed at every turn. Any hub/hubber that disagrees with that will feel the wrath of their hatred for large people and will get nitpicked to death or until we move to another site.
Cleanclover from Piece of land! on September 29, 2012:
I don't like large woman sorry. I like slim to curvy that's it.
diogenes from UK and Mexico on September 29, 2012:
The mechanics of the situation can be difficult. If both partners are very overweight, it's not easy to have sex in most positions...the skinny guy and fat woman may work best I think, which is what we find in Britain with the men having jobs requiring a lot of exercise and the women mainly sedentary work. You see so many really thin blokes with really large partners.
Now Missy will give us a hub with the best positions for fatties! And have the ads taken off. No way I could see why they took stuff off this article babe, unless it was the photo of the gal with the rack to die for! (suffocation maybe!)
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 20, 2012:
TToombs08, I agree that somebody in the moderating dept. is confused. I even changed some of the language to try to suit them, but as you know, some people refused to be pleased. Thank you for your support!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 19, 2012:
Thank you Frank Atanacio for sharing your viewpoint. Thankfully, there are many different viewpoints in this world or else everyone might have to be a carbon copy of everyone else to be accepted and valued. Lucky for you and me both that isn't the case! ;)
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 19, 2012:
Brett.Tesol, thank you for commenting, sharing, and tweeting! I agree with you, but I mainly wanted to share the information about large women (and really large men too) because so many large women I know assume they are not desirable to anyone because of their size. I wanted large people everywhere to know there is someone out there somewhere who would love to meet them.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 19, 2012:
Millionaire Tips, thank you for reading and commenting on my hub, and for pointing out that people are less than kind towards people who are overweight. It is more than just being overweight, but so many women worry when they think one or more of their parts are not perfect. I think we need to remember that there are people with feelings inside the bodies that so many people are quick to criticize.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 18, 2012:
Tillsontitan, thank you for commenting, etc., and for adding good sound advice which I whole heartedly agree with!
Terrye Toombs from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. on September 18, 2012:
Au fait; I don't get the whole monitoring thing. HP places the ads and then we get dinged for it. My How To Cheat was flagged as offensive and had all the advertising yanked off of that one. Yet, there are hubs out there that are more offensive and haven't been flagged or anything. I think your hub is perfectly fine and keep up the good work, girl! :)
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 18, 2012:
dwachira, thank you for reading, commenting and adding information to this hub! Lots of people do not realize that what is considered beautiful is not the same everywhere as it is here in the states. Thank you for sharing!
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 17, 2012:
Thank you for commenting on my hub Anil and Honey! Excess weight is a problem, but so is the economy that forces so many people to work 2 or more jobs so that they have no time for exercise or preparing healthful food for themselves and their families. The point of my hub is that everyone, men and women, should have equal opportunity for happiness and a fulfilling life regardless of how they look or how much they weigh.
C E Clark (author) from North Texas on September 17, 2012:
Mazzy Bolero, thank you for reading and commenting on this hub and adding your thoughts. I agree that everyone should be judged by who they are not what they look like or what their age or size may be. This hub was in no way criticizing thin people, but only bringing attention to the fact that some men, more than one might have thought, do in fact like big beautiful women! I know large women who think they have no chance and that they will be alone for the rest of their lives because they are large, and I just want all of them to know life is not over after 175 lbs or more.