Jennifer has a B.A. in Communications. She is an expert with self- help. She studied two years of marriage and family therapy.
Ever since I was a child I was very bubbly and outgoing. I was happy. I loved to make people laugh and I loved love. I would often look for those qualaties in a friendship and even a partnership. Whenever I met someone who would go in a shell I would get hurt easily because I would not often understand it. I grew up with morals and values "treat others how you want to be treated." So as I got older I felt that someone not returning my text back was them ignoring me. I felt that them wanting to stay inside all the time rather than go out and have a good time was them not wanting to have anything to do with me. I often ended friendships with people because they wanted to be home by 9:30pm because I didn't have the patience.
It wasn't until I eventually got older, read the book The Quiet by Susan Cain which I highly recommend and even became friends and dated an introvert for six months that I understand why my friendships in the past struggled. Now don't get me wrong. It can clearly work out. There is nothing wrong with being opposite with someone and I will definitle get to that later.
What an introvert is someone who does not like to be in social settings. They do not like the bar scene. They are more on the quiet side. There is nothing wrong with that. I think that everyone should mediate at least once a day and read and do things for their mind. It is when you stop communicating with your family and friends around you that, that is when toxic relationship and friendships begin because your friends who are extroverted may think that you are ignoring them. That is why communication and setting boundaries is very important in both a relationship and a friendship. If you want to read or do something by yourself your family and friends will understand but make time for them later. Remember they love and care about you and want to be a part of your life.
Then we have the extroverts. The extroverts is usually the life of the party. They are very outgoing and are usually the leader of the group. If you are the shy one and are scared to tell someone something they will do it for you. They have no fear.
What is the extrovert like in a relationship and friendship? Well in a friendship they could be a lot of fun. You will never get bored. You will honestly have the time of your life. As for dating an extrovert it can be exhausting. If you want to stay in and watch a movie they want to be at a party surrounded by people.
I dated an extrovert a long time ago. I was warned but me being young and in love I didn't listen, I just followed my heart. The first time he kept bringing other people into our relationship he didn't know how to be with just one person. The second time I got back with him and he said "I got what I wanted bye." I was hurt and upset after that. It took me awhile to get over that because we were friends first. Because of that I had alot of trust issues in my next relationship with someone who was introverted and who would not open up.
I am sure there are extroverts who can be loyal and honest. Once again it stems from communication and setting boundaries. When you first meet someone you have to state what your intentions are. If one person says I want a relationship that does not mean you go behind the other person's back and keep bringing other people into the relationship. Relationship requires give and take. You can go out now and then it is healthy but also have a cozy night in.
I notice in so many other people's lives. There is manipulation and narcissism. Where people just cannot be honest with each other. If you cannot be honest then you should not be in a relationship with each other.
Omniverts and Ambivert
An Ambivert is someone whose overall behavior is between introversion or extroversion.
An Omnivert is someone who can be either different at times.
How would I describe myself you ask? I would describe myself as an Ambivert. I could be a little bit of both. I love reading, doing art work, staying in and watching a movie. I strive for a healhy family life and having a meaningful relationship. I also find karaoke fun and I do not mind public speaking.
How could we all relate to each other?
One thing we can do is learn to communicate with each other, set boundaries, be honest, be loyal and not judgmental. That is the way a real friendship and relationship should work. It also takes compromising. In order to have a friendship or relationship there needs to be an equal give and take.
Example. If you are introverted and like to be in by 9:30pm but your friend likes to stay out past 11:00 we will go to dinner and stay out til 11:00. but is it okay if next week we go home earlier?"
When someone else is always setting the rules in relationships and friendships it can cause conflict. It can make the relationship become very draining. Remember there are two people in the relationship or friendship. You have to think about what both people want and need.
If your an extrovert and you are dating an introvert you can't think about how you just want to go out and party all the time. You have to think of your partner that they like to stay at home and what they like to do.
Spending time doing what you both love and being with family and friends is a great way to build a relationship.
It can work!
We can all build connections with all different types of people if we learn to love each other the right way. If we learn to communicate, set boundaries, and appreciate one another. There is a certain foundation for building a relationship and a friendship and some people can get hurt if those skills are missing. A healthy balance is important in life. Just let the people in your life know you still care because a good relationship and friendship is all about; love, trust, honesty and communication.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Jennifer Panaro
Jennifer Panaro (author) from Eastchester on May 04, 2020:
I am so glad you liked my article Tiamet. Thank you for your feedback. Yes it wasn’t until I read the book The Quiet by Susan Cainn which i highly recommend. I always considered myself an extrovert. After I went into introspection and considered all my hobbies and characteristics, I saw I am a little bit of both. Your right though us ambiverts make the best salespeople. Thank you for your feedback and I am glad you enjoyed the article!
Tiamet Webb on May 04, 2020:
I enjoyed your article! I appreciate how you broke each behavior type down. When I got to the end, I was surprised that you put yourself as ambivert, but used language that sounded like it's a decision. For me, an ambivert is. An omnivert can or cannot be. I am an ambivert, I don't choose, I just am. In fact, discovering where I fit, has really helped me. I now understand why talking to a stranger in a grocery store is so awkward for me, but I can sing karaoke in a room full of strangers. Anyway, yours is the best article that I have found that breaks down all four, in a clear and relatable way. Oh and it is a fact that we ambiverts make the best sales people.
Jennifer Panaro (author) from Eastchester on March 31, 2020:
Thank you for your feedback Kate. Yes the book "Quiet" is a great book. It is worth reading to both introverts and anyone who has them in their family or are friends with them.