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Identifying People With Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Melusi Jeisal Ngwenya has a bachelor's degree in social psychology and has been a fan of battle rap for years.


Self confident is a healthy state, but it can become a disease when it cross the line with grandiosity and it becomes Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People who are confident are comfortable in their own skin and do not need to announce their achievements on every platform Narcissistic people poses a toxic negative energy. Almost everyone comes across a person with Narcissistic personality disorder at some point in life. The narcissist might be a parent, friend, lover or a relative. This article is aimed at discussing how one can identify a person with narcissistic personality disorder to avoid toxic relationships and unnecessary confrontation and drama

One can define Narcissistic Personality Disorder as a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that is vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

“The word narcissism in its most fundamental sense means a tendency to self-worship.”

- Eleanor D. Payson. MSW

(The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists)

Narcissists are masters of manipulation, so they can disguise this negative energy for some time, and they can appear to be sympathetic and very caring for some time. They are good at displaying an illusion of positivism. They are good at coordinating the elements of a situation to produce a desired effect. As a positive person it is easy to overlook the red flags and look on the positive side of a person. In a more general sense, narcissistic people are emotional predators who prey on attention and praise from those surrounding them. Narcissistic people wants the best of everything for themselves even if that may be obtained at the cost of someone’s happiness. They want the best office, the best car, the best seat etc.

"A narcissist's weapon of choice is usually verbal - slander, gossip, rage, playing the victim and spinning the narrative of who was the victim and who was the abuser."

- Gail Meyer

Most narcissistic people are pathological liars, they do not just lie to others, but they also lie to themselves. They exaggerate their achievements and talents, they are always getting ahead of themselves believing to be at some level of success where they have not reached yet. People with narcissistic personality disorder are empty on the inside that is why they want all praise and attention to be directed only their way. Any sort of relationships with narcissistic people are dangerous not only because they want to win all the time, they want to destroy you so bad that you don’t know how to put the pieces of your life back. Experiences with a narcissist person can make you lose the positive perspective you could have of the world

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Conversations with narcissists are always one sided because they like to talk about themselves or people to be talking about them most of the time. If you tell a narcissistic person your story, somehow they usually find a way to flip the story and make about themselves for example you tell him how happy you are for scoring 90% on a test, a narcissistic person will tell you about that one time he scored 95% just because they want to be perceived as the best on everything. It is almost impossible for narcissistic people to find treatment they need because they cannot get to admit that they have a problem and they need help.

Being near someone with narcissistic personality disorder is as unhealthy as being narcissistic yourself

What causes narcissism

In my personal experience i have observed that children who grow up as the only child in the family usually grow up to be narcissistic, this might be because of the attention they had when they were you. According to some researches, narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Keep in mind that, although some children may show traits of narcissism, this may simply be typical of their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder. Although the cause of narcissistic personality disorder isn't known, some researchers think that in biologically vulnerable children, parenting styles that are overprotective or neglectful may have an impact. Genetics and neurobiology also may play a role in development of narcissistic personality disorder.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Melusi Jeisal Ngwenya

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