Prerna is a thinker, observer, reader & writer. She is always curious to learn. She is a strong believer in human potential.
How often did you say to yourself that you acted ‘immaturely’ or appreciated someone the way they handled the situation? If you ask me many times I had patted myself for acting maturely. But also there was a time when I didn’t handle my emotions well. And when I remember all those incidents now, I laugh at myself and sometimes feel guilty too. I tell myself I shouldn’t have reacted that way, that things could have been handled wisely, etc.
Does it sound relatable to you?
Well, most of us experienced those moments when we lost the battle with our own emotions. And it’s not always the case. Many times we have handled it very well too.
Then, how to consider yourself whether you are an emotionally mature or immature person? There are many ways from which you can examine your level of emotional maturity. But before that let me be clear that I know we all have our moments of childishness and that’s pretty good, the child in you should be alive. But here I am specifically talking about the emotional immaturity where the consequences did damage to you or others. And afterward, it left you guilty.
Well, before jumping into the detail to test emotional maturity let's first understand what is emotional maturity?
What is emotional maturity?
Emotional maturity is when someone can manage their emotions under any circumstances. And an emotionally mature person has the ability to understand his/her emotions very well. A person who is at this level of self-understanding or who is consistently working on it usually has the best approach to any situation or circumstance. Because such a person has a great understanding of one’s thoughts and behaviors that one knows how to cope with challenging situations or at least try to cope with them.
Being emotionally matured helps you successfully handle life challenges without doing it lose to you or others. It also avoid problems from overwhelming you.
So, are you ready to test your emotional maturity?
Knowing where you sit in terms of self-awareness is great. And the emotionally matured person knows themselves very well. Emotional Maturity begins with self-awareness. So with that, you have to ask yourself the below questionnaire to get a sense of who you really are?
And, yes one more thing this is not a kind of an online test or quiz which are for entertainment purpose. I have put a list of basic questions as an example to get a sense of where you are right now.
How do you respond to negative thoughts?
Negative thoughts which nobody likes but comes to everyone’s mind. To control these thoughts is like a battle with our own minds. Then how to respond to such thoughts? How does an emotionally matured person deal with it?
To understand this, there is a quote by Martin Luther King:
“You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
That means it seems impossible to control negative thoughts but it’s your choice to dwell or act on them. Emotional maturity refuses to dwell on negative thoughts. Instead, it replaces negative with positive thoughts.
How do you respond when someone highlights your drawback?
Who likes being criticized? No one. But now and then we have to face the situation when people tell us our drawbacks.
An emotionally mature person will control his response instead of criticizing that person in return. In the current world where the right to speech is taken disastrously and people feel pleasure by criticizing others. Thus, all criticisms are not genuine and those people who do that are just satisfying their own flaws.
Hence, there are two ways you can handle the criticism:
- Take it as feedback and learn from it.
- Ask yourself if it is true then work on it or else close the door and don’t let the thought in.
Do you think before you speak?
Oh my god! What did I just say?
The most common thought we all have when we say something which we shouldn’t and think about it after the damage is been done.
But that’s okay learn from your mistake. Emotional maturity is when you take a pause, think, and then speak. It’s better to take time before you speak than wasting your time covering the damage.
Do you forgive people?
When you gain emotional maturity you know very well that holding a grudge will never do any good to you. The pain will always reside in your heart and the wound will never heal. I know it’s easy said than done but by holding onto that pain you allow others to hurt you forever.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Are you self-aware?
Emotionally mature people know their strengths and weaknesses very well. They do not run for perfection but they do know how to work on their weaknesses. Accepting one’s flaws and working on them is a trait of an emotionally matured person.
These are just a few examples. You can ask a list of questions to yourself such as:
- What are your emotional triggers?
- Do you try to control everything?
- Do you apologize easily?
- Do you appreciate others?
- When things don’t go as you planned, whom do you blame?
- Do you easily get fed up with everyone and everything?
- How do you de-stress yourself?
- Do you work on self-care?
- How do you overcome a failure?
- How do you keep yourself motivated?
Write down answers for all the questions. In the end, you will have an idea of what are your strengths and weaknesses & where you need to work.
These questions and answers are purely made for you to help in self-awareness and not to let you down. We all possess emotional maturity but at different levels. Sometimes unconsciously we react in a certain way that we are unaware of, but by consciously asking yourself questions you will get a clear picture of where the work is needed.
Ask, answer and analyze. Make emotions work for you instead of against you.
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© 2021 Prerna Dhulekar