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How to Date an ENFP Personality

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

You are in for a treat! The ENFP is one of the most exciting and sweet personalities on the entire planet. So you're not stranded in the wacky world of the ENFP (extroverted, intuitive, feeler, perceiver Myers Briggs type) -- I have this little guide for you!

The ENFP is the champion personality. They love getting the chance to meet people, encourage them, and take on humanitarian issues. They have a never ending pool of energy, and sometimes struggle when they have to find their more quiet, introspective moments. This is one of the ultimate friends and romantic partners to have. They'll have a million ideas, are eager to please, and are fast learners. They're fairly malleable personalities with a wide range of interests. They love falling in love and trying to figure someone out. This is why INFJ and INTJ personalities are so enticing to them because those two personalities exude a certain amount of mystery and never ending depth. The ENFP is warmhearted wanting to take on the entire world's problems. If they don't accomplish everything in one lifetime, they very likely might just figure things out in another lifetime. They're the life of the party, and if you can get them to settle down into their quiet self -- they're also quite poignant, romantic, and dark.

1. Encourage the ENFP. Keep encouraging them. Let them know they can be 100% real with you. They want to share all that energy they have, and a lot of people can't handle it because those fools are dumb. You want all that amazing energy the ENFP has to offer.

2. Open up your heart, open up your mind, and open up your schedule. Dive into the heart of it. The ENFP wants to explore so much -- and with you!

3. Your ENFP struggles when they get bored. Be willing to be creative. They probably started dating you because you're creative. Try new things, go to new places, and change things up from time to time.

4. Take classes together with your ENFP. Learning something new will keep it fresh. Like dancing, pottery, or something insane!

5. Back to boredom -- it's not your job to constantly make an ENFP feel entertained. Bring in spontaneity, but trust me, you're probably not the source of boredom. Do what you can to encourage.

6. As long as you're good about reminding the person that you love them, both in actions and words, they are pretty much eternally faithful as long as you don't take advantage of them. If they don't feel loved...they might lose hope and begin to think that the relationship can't be salvaged.

7. Learn the art of conversation. The ENFP has a never ending pool of conversational quests. Let it all come up naturally. You don't always need to be serious or funny. Knowing you have a range about your emotions and ideas is attractive to an ENFP.

8. Edge near the side of mystery. ENFP has a strong, insatiable need to figure things out. A person who is an endless pool of mystery will keep them intrigued for years, decades, into other lives if we get more than one life.

9. Compliment, compliment, compliment... compliment.

10. Be absolutely undeniably adorable. Give them chocolates randomly. Give them flowers. Dance with them. Give them puppy dog eyes. Laugh, fart, whatever!

11. "I love you" never loses meaning and is always good to hear.

12. Let them know you're thinking about them when they're not right there.

13. Write them letters.

14. Cook them dinner. The stomach is always the gateway to the heart.

15. An ENFP values authenticity. They want what is genuine. They have a great BS detector.


16. An ENFP loves to know they can take care of you, protect you, and that you'll do the same.

17. Don't get too upset with an ENFP for their messes. Gently help them to take care of things like dishes, dirty clothes, etc.

18. Let an ENFP know they're amazing and on track with their life.

19. An ENFP wants you to feel comfortable.

20. An ENFP likes being greeted with a hug.

21. An ENFP likes when you just sit by them.

22. An ENFP likes when you give them something nice to drink whether coffee or alcohol... depends on the person!

23. An ENFP likes to teach you things. They want you to feel involved. They like to encourage people.

24. An ENFP just wants you to be there.

25. An ENFP likes to be babied just a little bit, not too much...

26. Let an ENFP play with your pets or kids. They're animal and child whisperers.

27. You can talk to them about anything. They like knowing your more private thoughts.

28. Suggest crazy things to do. That will key their interest.

29. Call them when you miss them. Don't go overboard, but they like knowing they're missed.

30. An ENFP likes feeling like they're apart of a powerful couple duo. Compliment the relationship.

31. Engage with and encourage them to be dramatic. The ENFP personality likes to perform a little bit.

31. Wear something insanely nice and pleasing to the eyes.

32. Surprise them with a vacation.

33. Let them be totally, incandescently weird.


34. You might annoy them with too lengthy of arguments. This personality tends to lock in on they're favorite points and repeat them over and over.

35. An ENFP will move on quickly if they feel like nothing is progressing forward or if it's unrequited. Some personalities have reported that it's strange how fast an ENFP can move on after a relationship. With certainty they enjoyed their time with you, but they don't want to be bogged down with their baggage. They're smart enough to know someone out there is waiting for someone like them, and they don't need to waste time with people who don't work.

36. The ENFP can stay tied down to a bad relationship for way too long. They have intense amounts of loyalty and that hate the idea of losing what they once loved. But once the thread is cut, they'll run far, far away.

37. Don't toy with an ENFP. They want to know your genuine. If you're playing childish mind games with them, they'll cut their loses.

38. Don't try to force things.

39. They're perfectionists and will do something till they get it right. If you are not of this temperament, this may make you crazy. If you are also a perfectionist, you should join them in the crazy crusade.

40. Don't dote on them like a trophy in front of others. That will come off disrespectful.

41. An ENFP is an IDEALIST, don't cramp their style with doom and gloom. Let them envision a greater world.

42. Give them undivided attention.

43. Spend time doing their favorite things.

44. Motivate them. ENFP loves to motivate and be motivated.

45. Let them travel, wander the planet, or find a forest.

46. Don't overwhelm them with a busy schedule. They're extroverts, but love downtime.

47. Try to get them to clean with you.

48. Let them lead you.

49. Encourage their artsy-creative side.

50. Play games with them that engage the mind.


51. Make them homemade gifts.

52. Help them when they are weak. Solve problems for them. Be proactive.

53. Be weird with them

54. Try new food neither of you have experienced.

55. Cook food together.

56. Go to things that spark conversation, like graveyards.

57. Do things you did as kids -- like building a sheet fort.

58. Write the ENFP warmhearted emails.

59. Go to events that celebrate the ENFP or matter to them -- graduation, sports events, big dinners, etc.

60. Take lots of pictures.

61. Be good friends with the ENFP's family.

62. Spends hours upon hours in deep conversation.

63. Be consistent and loyal in your love. Be solid for them.


Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 05, 2018:

I think you're trying really hard with external factors. You need to look within. Try meditation and prayer, even yoga on a regular basis. Your focus is so much on the external, that you're missing out on yourself. You're not too late and there is still plenty of time to develop and go after what you want. Try listening to some instrumental music you like by yourself, with headphones on, and imagine images to it. You need to spend time in reflection and see what you can find in introversion. If this starts to trouble you and is too much, go back to socializing. Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be. You're needing to get in synch without yourself and feel more balanced. Only when you take care of yourself, can you take care of others.

JonathanAbra on March 23, 2018:

Hi Andrea, I've had my whole life thinking that I'm strange or maybe sick in my head. Because I have so much power and sense to just be, Love to love everything alive and do not see bodies but more souls of different unity.

I've probably had more adventure than what a soul has been about, I've been struggling because it's more important for a fellow human being to survive his dramatic events than to take care of me. To me I get some kind of feeling that pleases all of me and can live on the one-day in days.

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets

The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears.

The Kindest heart has felt the most pain.

But now to the problem. I'm stuck and do not get out of a bad loop. and the first time in my life, So start thinking about leaving this body. But then the other side is so strong that it wants to start appearing outside the sthlm. I want to change something in the world that will make it a better place. And I have a good plan but not at all enering.

All my life I have given to gain strength. But how to self-strength that can confirm one's own without the shape of any other life to be on the corner. How do I drive it power to just live in the present?

here is my mail.(jonatan.abrahamsson@gmail.com) Does anyone have suggestions or know where I might turn before it's too late? Infinite Gratitude / Jonathan A

Suad on November 02, 2017:

Thank you so much for this awesome insight

Eugene Tiffany on October 04, 2017:

What? Andrea, you say you are not sure where to even start writing about how to date an INTP? Wow! I didn't know that INTPs even dated, And I am one of them!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 28, 2017:

No problem! Glad to help. Perhaps I should do a how to date an INTP? I'm not sure where to even begin for this type.

Deborah Reno from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on June 28, 2017:

Great article! As an ENFP, I have to say that this list is spot on. If my husband, who is an INTP, did any of these things, I would be over the moon. Thanks for understanding who we are, and writing this great article.


Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 26, 2017:


Lena from Philippines on March 18, 2017:

I am an ENFP and I totally agree with this

Vagabond Laborer on August 17, 2015:

Great hub! I know an ENFP and this was helpful.

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