We have all done things that we regret, remorse, and sometimes, even repent. So, we are grateful and will not forget when someone forgives our misdeeds. When a long-term friend breaks a promise that results in financial and physical distress, we normally will not forgive the incident and the friend becomes a long-time foe as we cannot just forget what has happened.
There is no doubt that we treat people whom we like to be our friends differently. We tend to forgive their wrongdoings without much consideration and forget the unpleasant incident without much hesitation. On the other hand, for those whom we do not like, we will not forgive even the minor impoliteness and find an excuse not to forget all the wrongdoings even when they try their best not to be our foe.
Forgive and forget play an important function in our family, social, and working lives while testing our resolve in tolerance, patience, and morality.
In the family, we know everyone better than anyone in the world. We spend more time with everyone than anyone in the world. We can be who and what we are, say, and do things that may not be appropriate in the outside world. The family can remain intact and a loving sanctum because we forgive and forget when:
1) We have all-out quarrels and say things that hurt our feeling,
2) We disagree on almost everything and share few common values,
3) We break promises and are casual about our commitment.
The relationship in the family transcends friend and foe:
1) The parents will do their best sacrifice to bring food to the table and provide the best education to their children,
2) The children will do their best to listen and obey their parents and can always rely on and trust their siblings.
Society is a different world where people from all walks of life can find work, entertainment, and companionship. We soon find that everyone puts their interest and well-being first and will try almost anything to satisfy them. As a result, we find that it is a lot easier to make foe than a friend. We learn not to reveal our true intentions and hide our emotions while socializing with strangers and casual acquaintances; for fear that they will be misinterpreted and sometimes, used against us. Only with friends, do we feel comfortable sharing our ideals, dreams, jokes, opinions, and perspectives on people, the economy, and politics.
Friendship can turn into an adversary when we do not learn to forgive and forget because we all have different:
1) Standard of Morality – Depending on how we are brought up, the people we are with, and the education we receive, we all have a slightly different conception of what is right/wrong/good/bad, and codes of conduct,
2) Value criteria – We all have slightly different perceptions of what is kind and gentle, what makes us happy and laugh, and what keeps us interested and engaged,
3) Red Line – We all have slightly different tolerance and breaking point when our values are challenged and principles are violated.
We spend almost one-third of our adult life at the workplace. We try to earn a living so that we can raise a family, be independent, and or pursue our hobbies. The workplace is not a place for friendship but workmanship where we are under constant pressure and stress to meet deadlines and budget, to improve performance and communication skills among strangers.
But, friendship does develop among coworkers as most work assignments require a group of people working together for a long period. To complete a project, we need to work together with people from diverse disciplines with unique training and expertise. Tension, pressure, and long hours are the norm. We find that some people are difficult to work with while some are helpful and willing to share knowledge.
We learn to put aside our subjectivity and concentrate on getting the job completed. Forgive our coworkers’ unpleasant behaviors and forget about the setbacks and stressful situations help us get through our careers.
With the population explosion and unchecked modernization, the traditional values of family, friends, and finance are deteriorating and disappearing:
1) Family – As both parents find the need to work to support the family, the children are left alone to learn what is important in life from the TV.
2) Friend – We spend more time playing video games, surfing the Internet, and texting our friends on our mobile phones.
3) Finance – As we can do banking, shopping, and entertainment online, more and more people can also work at home online.
As our life becomes more isolated with less direct human interaction, we find that our relationships have become superficial and find few reasons to forgive and nothing to forget.