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Excuses, Nothing But Excuses

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I am a firm believer in life long learning, it is my goal to improve my life based on the lessons learned the previous day.

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We have all used them to try to get ourselves off the hook, excuses, lies, apologies. Those actions are a rejection of guilt, intended to explain behaviour, justify mistakes and ultimately delegate responsibility — usually away from us. But they can also be a form of self-deception — a particularly dangerous one. Quite a few people use such excuses to prevent themselves from realizing their dreams and goals.

excuses-nothing-but-excuses

Excuses Do Twice The Harm

Whether for being late, for exceeding the speed limit and facing a fine, for failure or even an affair — people are hardly at a loss for white lies, excuses, and funny stories. “I have no desire”, “It is not important enough for me”, “I am too lazy”, “I made a mistake” — the admissions would often be more honest, but also more uncomfortable. Because they either have unpleasant consequences or blemish the pretty self-image.

Reasons are often just excuses. We use them so that we don’t have to see our defects. But if we stop justifying ourselves, we have a chance to gain a realistic self-image — and to change our behaviour.

Bernard Roth, Stanford professor

Or as a well-known bon mot does in a nutshell,

Where there’s a will, there’s a way; if you don’t want something, you’ll find excuses

Especially when it comes to excuses and lies, people become masters of creativity. Many people are rarely at a loss for excuses and lie to themselves that the proverbial bars bend. You may know these four typical excuses yourself.

I am Not Good Enough

Anyone who takes on something big will have a moment of doubt at some point. Confidence begins to falter, and anything but failure seems impossible. Here it is fear that speaks.

Don’t let fear restrain you. You will grow in fulfilling your dreams and learn new things, and even if you experience a setback, it is still better than not trying and not having to ask yourself what could have been.

I am Not Ready Yet

A classic excuse is a permanent and repeated postponement. The right time to realize ones dream is always being sought, but never found. The simple reason in most cases, it doesn’t even exist.

Put your dreams to work, because no matter how long you wait, you will never feel entirely ready for it. Excuses like I’ll start next year are nothing more than lies that you use to fool yourself and to calm your conscience.

I Don’t Know What Others Think

Many people need to share their dreams with other people. At the same time, it also makes them insecure. Their dreams are as individual as people. What is a dream for you may be nonsense for someone else.

That’s precisely what nobody wants to hear so as not to let their dream be destroyed. But, if you hold onto your dreams, it doesn’t matter what others think about them. Making your dreams come true and the consequences are yours — and you shouldn’t put that power in someone else’s hands, even when faced with criticism.

I Don’t Have Enough Time

In everyday life, there is always a lot to do, the job is very stressful, and you have a lot to do privately. So do many, but if you have a real dream, you will always find the time to work on it.

In other words, if you use too little time as an excuse, you are not pursuing your dream with enough passion. Remember, you don’t have time, but take it for the things that are important to you.

The result of such excuses always look the same. The large pool of our possibilities becomes an obstacle to inadequacies and adverse circumstances. We block ourselves with words and probabilities that may not be any.

However, that harms those affected twice

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Excuses Make Us Small

Excuses are a kind of emergency exit in unpleasant situations. But they also ensure that we never learn to endure conflicts or overcome obstacles, thus broadening our supposed boundaries and our intellectual horizons. In short, they are comfortable but prevent growth.

Excuses Sabotage Our Self-confidence

Refusals and evasions distort our perception. Obstacles grow into vast and insurmountable mountain ranges, while we categorically underestimate our own strengths and abilities. As a result, excuses lead to verifiable self-doubts over time. At some point, we believe our own lies more than our experience.

And last but not least, excuses damage our image. If you always find reasons why something is NOT working, you will soon look like a non-expert. In any case, not like a type of maker who achieves his goals with his own will, talent and passion.

Bad Excuses | These 10 Make You Look Lazy At Work

Laziness is human, to a certain extent. Anyone who crosses this limit at work and gives the impression of pronounced sluggishness saws dangerously on the chair on which he or she is sitting. The colleagues soon think those affected as idlers and quitters.

The danger is particularly great with the following excuses and statements.

That Is Not Part Of My Job

I consider this employment relationship as a necessary evil, you will receive the minimum amount of benefit from me, and I will give you the paycheck at the end of the month. No more and no less.

I’m Just Following My Instructions

Thinking maybe allowed in this company. But nobody can force me to do it. If the boss tells me to install this, then I’ll do it. Is there anything else?

I Know What I’m Doing

I do it here in my own way. And that is characterized by simplicity and speed. That’s why I don’t want to deal with your mental effusions.

I Can’t Do That Too

You can see that I’m totally overwhelmed here. And now I have to get your documents in order? Please don’t make it so difficult for me. I can’t do it all!

That Was Not My Mistake

So please iron it out yourself and don’t force it on me. In principle, I don’t care whether the company suffers any damage as long as I don’t suffer any personal disadvantages.

Sorry, But I Don’t Care

First, I don’t really value your opinion. Second, I don’t even want to think about whether I value them. Too exhausting.

I consider this employment relationship as a necessary evil, you will receive the minimum amount of benefit from me, and I will give you the paycheck at the end of the month. No more and no less.


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That Can Wait

I know that the proposal is very urgent, but I will still try to knock out a few more days, just because I don’t feel like putting up with unnecessary stress now.

Unfortunately, Something Important Came Up

Your project is simply not a priority for me. And I don’t even feel like incorporating it into my schedule. I’ll take care of it another time. Perhaps.

We’ll Talk About It Another Time

Please leave me alone with the crap. I would like you to forget the whole thing entirely and don’t even talk to me about it again. Other than that, come back tomorrow. But only if it is absolutely necessary.

Ask My Coworker; He’s Got Capacity

No, I am not the right person for this task. So go straight to the neighbouring office and leave me alone.

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Good Excuses, Bad Excuses | That’s Why They Hurt

However, there is also the situation that one is confronted with an excuse, which, still, is immediately recognizable as such and transparent. So a lousy excuse in the literal sense.

Even with such excuses, those affected suffer double the damage.

You Are Dishonest

Bad excuses usually have little to do with reality, but rather come from the imagination or the lies of their creator.

That can permanently damage the relationship of trust; after all, lies give the impression that the other party will not shy away from saying the untruth in different situations and using lies to their own advantage.

Insult The Intellect Of The Other

Excuses should distract from one mistake and appease the other. Sometimes there are excellent reasons for mishaps, but there are also very flimsy ones.

If you make a lousy excuse, you implicitly say, I think you are so stupid that you believe that crap

The lie itself is disrespectful enough, but bad excuses are insulting and expose a conversation that is not carried out on an equal footing from the start — after all, the liar thinks his excuse is intellectually superior; otherwise he would hardly have such a story present.

That’s also the reason why it hurts so much to be served a bad excuse. The interviewee not only decided to lie to us but doesn’t even think it is necessary to provide us with a credible explanation. You could say right away,

you’re too stupid to notice

Of course, one can tolerate or ignore such behaviour. Usually, it depends on whether you will work with this person again or never see him again.

In the first case, however, such a laissez-faire attitude reinforces those affected in their behaviour, and they continue to believe that they can get away with their excuses. Accordingly, we recommend an appropriate and courageous backlash to prevent such behaviour from happening to you again in the future.

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Question The Behavior

Mistakes can always happen. It is a sign of greatness and responsibility to stand up for it. Therefore, you should first ask yourself why you have been told a lousy excuse and not the truth. Do others perhaps feel that they can’t tell you the truth because you become resentful or angry quickly? That way, maybe you can help yourself to be told the truth more often.

Don’t Ignore The Incident

While it’s easier to get over a lousy excuse and pretend nothing has happened. By doing so, you are also giving absolution to the mesh. In this case, silence is just tin and talking gold, speak to them directly about possible contradictions and also tell them that you don’t believe them. That’s usually followed by the transparent resistance to indignation

Do you think I’m a liar?

But that’s just clumsy rhetoric. After all, it’s true, you think the person is a liar and the reasoning is a flimsy excuse.

Find Out The Truth

Don’t let yourself be led to a siding, but take a close look. The story behind a lousy excuse is usually very interesting, it tells you a lot about the other. Why didn’t he or she want to tell the truth, and why did it come to an excuse? Finding out the truth not only helps to affirm more honesty in the relationship, but it also makes it clear that you can’t be coined as being stupid. Even if unmasked liars react angrily they, at least now, have more respect for you.