Skip to main content

Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws

I don't wrestle for peanuts you know.

I don't wrestle for peanuts you know.

Dumb Laws to Make You Laugh - Alabama through Montana

I confess. I am addicted to crazy, dumb, stupid, funny laws. This is my third hub on the subject. (See the titles of the others at the end of this Hub). I found so many dumb laws that I had to divide this hub into two sections. The first covers crazy laws from Alabama through Montana. The second features funny laws from Nebraska through Wyoming. Some of these dumb laws are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Promise!


Bear wrestling matches are prohibited. Maybe those greedy bears won’t give the World Wrestling Federation a percentage.

Incestuous marriages are legal. Ah, yes. Incest – the old game the whole family can play.

Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. Is that why there’s a “ma” in Alabama?

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. Were they doing this?

In Huntsville, if an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer. I think I need a little more information.

You may not drive barefooted. Use your hands!

Bicycles are banned from the interstate highways. Although that’s the best place to bike if you have a death wish.

In Mobile, it is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels. What if you’re a woman?


While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. Also extremely stupid!

No person may drive a vehicle when there are more than 3 people in the front seat which number shall include the driver. I certainly hope so.

In Juneau, owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops or hairdressing (salons) Why would you keep a pet flamingo in the far North? The poor thing would freeze to death.

Some camels spit. I prefer to stick out my tongue.

Some camels spit. I prefer to stick out my tongue.

Crazy Laws


Hunting camels in prohibited. Probably because there aren’t any.

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. How about if I just make some of the real stuff?

You may not have more than 2 dildos in a house. Non-human, that is.

Scroll to Continue

In Mesa, it is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a class 12 liquor license. If you understand this one, please let me know.

In Nogales, an ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. Must be a lot of guys here with droopy drawers.


In Baldwin Park, nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. Is anybody trying?

In Belvedere City, a council order reads: No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash. What if its master won’t wear a leash?

In Chico, bowling on the sidewalk is illegal. And very difficult; you keep hitting pedestrians.

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. Who will be left to enforce it?

In Dana Point, one may not use one’s own restroom if the window is open. Maybe the window is open for a reason!

In Fresno, no one may annoy a lizard in a city park. What if it annoyed me first?

In Eureka, elementary schools may not host poker tournaments. Are the kids that good at the game?


One may not mutilate a rock in a state park. If you’re into mutilating, take your rock home.

It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. Is that the rider or the horse?

in Aspen, catapults may not be fired at buildings. Only at castles.

In Boulder, It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property. Send your llama home to its mmama.

In Logan County, It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep. Sleeping Beauty would still be sleeping here.

In Sterling, cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight. Sell tickets to this and you’ll make a fortune.

In Vail, it is illegal to crash into obstacles on a ski slope. Then why do skiers keep doing it?


In New Britain, it is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25 mph even when going to a fire. Must be a lot of houses burning down to the ground here.

In Delaware, it is illegal to wear pants that are form fitting around the waist. More droopy drawers here, too.

In Rehoboth Beach, no person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk. Stop pretending and go to sleep already.

That is outright discrimination against pig baby mamas.

That is outright discrimination against pig baby mamas.


The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages. I’m confused. Is there some logic here?

You are not allowed to break more than 3 dishes per day or chip the edges of more than 4 cups and/or saucers. So who does the counting?

In Broward County, persons may not be inappropriately attired who work at hot dog stands. This law is not as crazy as it sounds. Vendors at stands on the roads were beautiful young women wearing tiny bikini tops and tinier thongs, and male drivers were having car accidents 24/7.

In Cape Coral, it is illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. So - park in front of your neighbor’s house.

A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport. Maybe the couch thinks it’s a coach.

The molestation of trash cans is banned. Help me out – how do you molest a trash can?

In Destin, if you ride your bicycle. do not lean it up against a tree in a cemetery. You just can’t trust those dead people.

In Hialeah, ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor. Jay walking is OK.

In Key West, chickens are considered a protected species. Does Kentucky Fried know that?

In Miami Beach, termite farms are not allowed within the city. Why would you want to raise termites?

No one may bring a pig with them to the beach. Of the animal kind, that is.

In Pensacola, a woman can be fined only after death for being electrocuted in a bathtub because of using self-beautification utensils. How do they collect?

In Sarasota, You may not catch crabs. Is that a Health Department law?

In Tampa, women may not expose their breasts while performing topless dancing. Is their another way?

Lap dances must be given at least 6 feet away from a patron. Now that’s what I call a lap.

Don't be upset. I think you're beautiful.

Don't be upset. I think you're beautiful.


Signs are required to be written in English. Now, if only everyone could read!

In Athens-Clarke County, massage businesses may not sell alcohol on the side. Can they sell it in the front?

Selling 2 beers at once for the same price is not allowed. No twofers here y’all.

Alabama slingshot may not be used in the city limits. If you must, buy them over the line in Florida.

In Atlanta, it is against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. Use a parking meter.

In Columbus, crosses may be burned on someone else’s property so long as you have their permission. “Excuse me, may I burn this cross in your yard?”

The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it. That law says it all.

It is illegal to carry a chicken by its feet down Broadway on Sunday. Choose another day.

In Dublin, persons may not wear hoods in public. Look for sales to plummet at the hoodie store.

In Gainesville, chicken must be eaten with the hands. There’s another way?

In Jonesboro, it is illegal to say, “Oh, Boy.” I researched this one further. After the Civil War wealthy people would call on former slaves to clean their horses calling, “Oh, boy.”

In Kennesaw, every head of household must own a gun. NRA has a foothold here.

In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. I’m not kidding. That’s a law.


Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears. I guess there aren’t any pockets in a muu muu.


You may not fish on a camel’s back. Must be the same camel they are trying to hunt in Arizona.

in Boise, residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back. Those Boiseians have to be different from everyone else.

In Pocatello, a law passed in 1912 provided that the carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view. Carry the automatic rifle and you can conceal your Beretta.

I'd really like to taste  some "hair of the dog."

I'd really like to taste some "hair of the dog."

Loony Laws


You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. That’s why the traffic is so bad.

It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. Make him buy his own.

In Carbondale, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. Stand up, dude.

In Crete, it is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog. Is it considered an offense if you’re successful?

Cars may not be driven through the town. Push a little harder, Becky. We’re coming to a hill.

In Horner, it is against the law to use a slingshot unless you are a law enforcement officer. Officer - forget the Glock - get a rock.

In Joliet, pronouncing the name of the town as Jolly-ette when it’s correctly pronounced Joe-lee- ette is a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine. Picky-picky.

In Kenilworth, a rooster must step back 300 feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. In this town, it’s cock-a-doodle-don’t.

In Kirkland, bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of the streets. Who wants to notify the bees?


You can get out of paying for a dependent’s medical care by praying for him or her. Save some money – cancel your medical insurance.

Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights. Officer – “Remove the taillight from your tail or I will take you straight to jail.”

All males 18 to 50 years old must work 6 days a year on public roads. Is the job of “Tail Light Inspector” available?

In Elkhart, it is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears. Is there a penalty if they actually do so?

In Evansville, while driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on. They thrive on danger here.

In Fort Madison, the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for 15 minutes before attending a fire. Enough with the practice, you guys. Go out and fight that fire.

In Indianapolis, one may only throw a stone at a bird in self-defense. I swear, Your Honor, that crow threw the first stone.

In Warsaw, no one may throw an old computer across the street at their neighbor. Even the circus Strong Man couldn’t throw a computer across a street!


Would somebunny adopt me? Anybunny?

Would somebunny adopt me? Anybunny?


Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. Really strange law. Yes, rabbits are excellent swimmers but they hate to swim so why would anyone hunt them in the water?

In Lawrence, no one may wear a bee in their hat. But a bee in your bonnet is cool.

In Topeka, no one may scream at a haunted house. How about screaming in a haunted house?


In Jefferson Parish, condoms may not be thrown from parade floats during Mardi Gras. Better to throw those multi-colored glass bead necklaces.

You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant. Use a parking meter or a telephone pole.


In Biddeford, it is illegal to gamble at the airport. Perhaps the biggest gamble is flying out of the Biddeford.airport.

No person may roller skate on a sidewalk. Use the middle of the street like everyone else.


In Rockville, it is illegal to remove a public building by writing on it. Is invisible ink that strong?


Bullets may not be used as currency. Understandable. How would you make change? With shotgun pellets?

In Boston, no one may take a bath without a prescription. Doctor to patient, “Are you serious?”

In Longmeadow, it is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green. Let go, Henry, I have to carry it myself.

In Marlboro, it is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. If you must have a gun, buy a real one.

One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city. Find a spot out in the country.

In Woburn, in bars it is illegal to walk around with a beer in your hand. Drink it while you’re sitting on the floor, like everyone else.


If I slip, trip or fall,  You will pay for it all!

If I slip, trip or fall, You will pay for it all!


It is legal for a robber to file a lawsuit if he or she got hurt in your house.

In Harper Woods, it is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. Now there’s a business niche.

In Kalamazoo, it s against the law to serenade your girlfriend. Must be a lot of really lousy singers there.


All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts. Are pants optional?

Citizens may not enter the state with a chicken on their head. Put it in your pocket like everyone else.


A man may not seduce a woman by lying and claiming he will marry her. Guys – don’t say” I will” if you don’t’ plan to “I do”.


In Columbia, you can not have a television antenna exposed outside of your house. But there is no law against having a 25-foot satellite dish.

In Kansas City, minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols. However, they may buy shotguns freely.

In Natchez, it shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. No use bellying up to the bar, Jumbo, they won’t serve you.

In St. Louis, It is illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. Be a man. Stand up and drink it from a bottle.

In University City, no person may have a yard sale in their front yard. I’ll just move it over to my neighbor’s yard . . . where I park my truck.


One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. So, genuine abuse is OK?

In Billings, it is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket to city council proceedings. Check it at the door.

In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. Sounds like a bunch of Ben Hur devotees in this town.

If you enjoyed reading Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws (from Alabama to Montana), check out the second section: Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws (from Nebraska to Wyoming).

Are you laughing at these crazy, funny, dumb, loony laws? Here are some more!

© Copyright BJ Rakow 2010, 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Available at


drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 01, 2013:

Hi, BringOnTheAwesome - what a great profile name!

Thanks for finding my comments so funny. But I don't want to use 'less complicated words' as per your suggestion or the voters would want me to run for office. If you know what I mean.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 01, 2013:

Yes, Molly, these crazy dumb laws are very typical of many politicians. They vote first and then read what they are voting about. (Remember Pelosi's comment about Obamacare. "We have to pass this law so we can read what's in it.")

Might as well just laugh, m'dear, getting mad is bad for your blood pressure. Thanks for the visit.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 01, 2013:

How nice to meet you, Letitia. Do hope you have recovered from nearly choking trying not to laugh aloud at these crazy laws while your husband was rehearsing a speech.

Do visit the other four crazy law hubs in this series and let me know your thoughts. BTW - how did hubby's speech go?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 01, 2013:

Hi, Lizzy. Forgive my tardiness. These crazy laws are gems aren't they? I think those lawmakers have just too much time on their hands.

Thanks for including the two oddball dumb laws about a housewife who could be arrested in California for not boiling her dust rags. Doesn't everyone? And the law making it illegal for pigeons to fly over the city I have seen before. Will check for the city and state. Thanks, m'dear, for the visit, the laughter, the Up, and the sharing. You are most appreciated.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 01, 2013:

Thanks for finding this hub 'still really funny,' Susan. I still find your visits welcome and entertaining. Truly!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 01, 2013:

Nice to meet you, reviewthelaw. Thanks for enjoying this hub and finding it funny as well as learning 'lots of things.' If that is true, then I have fulfilled my mission.

BringOnTheAwesome on January 01, 2013:

Your comments are so funny,but try using less complicated words.

Mary Strain from The Shire on July 30, 2012:

Drbj, how typical of politicians. Just deal with the immediate problem when it presents itself, rather than pushing for more widespread solutions that might offend someone and cost votes.

I don't know whether to laugh or get mad!

Funny hub -- and yet so frustrating!

LetitiaFT from Paris via California on June 20, 2012:

How hilarious! My husband is sitting at the table rehearsing a speech and I nearly choked trying not to laugh aloud! Can't wait to read the others!

Susan Zutautas from Ontario, Canada on June 20, 2012:

I've read your hub before .... it's still really funny!

Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on June 20, 2012:

LOL all the way through! I wonder what these lawmakers were snorting, drinking or smoking when they came up with these gems.

I, too, have a fascination with these oddball dumb laws.

Two others I recall reading years back, one from here in CA, that a housewife can be arrested for failing to boil her dustrags, (Dirt soup, anyone?) and somewhere in the deep south (forget the town & state), it is illegal for pigeons to fly over the city. (Who's teaching the birds to read???)

LMAO voted up and shared

reviewthelaw from Newport Beach , California , 92660 United States on May 25, 2012:

Hahahaha! I enjoyed reading your hub.

Nothing to say. Funny,funny.

Lot of things learned.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on March 10, 2012:

How nice to meet you, MizBejabbers. Much like you, I could not believe that some of these crazy, dumb laws were actually still on the books of some states. Especially the 'cats with tail lights' laws. I could understand the original reasons for some laws, but others were unfathomable.

Thanks for sharing the info about the undressed doctor and the full-dressed patient law. If you ever locate it, please let me know. I think you will also enjoy the other four crazy law hubs in this series. Be my guest. And thanks also for the up and funny.

Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on March 09, 2012:

You are a person of me own heart! Cats with tail lights. I'm sure my cats would love that! I love these crazy laws and will read all your hubs about them. As a legislative editor, we went through my state's laws about 15 years ago and tried to remove the obsolete and crazy ones, but we have one that we just can’t get them to reword. The spirit of the law is that a patient may disrobe for a doctor to examine, but the doctor must be fully clothed. However it is worded to read just the opposite. It is not considered obscene for a naked doctor to examine a patient, but the patient must be clothed. Wish I could find it and quote it exactly for you. Voted you up and funny.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 18, 2011:

Nice to meet you, jaywigz, especially since you used the adjectives, 'awesome and hilarious.' And you live in Florida, paisano. Not surprised you were not aware of these crazy laws. Some of them have been on the books for decades and are rarely, thank goodness, enforced. You are welcome. When you have time, take a look at the other four hubs in this series for more laughs.

jaywigz311 from Orlando, FL on November 18, 2011:

Awesome hub! I live in Florida and I didn't know about any of these laws. Hilarious! Thanks.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on February 18, 2011:

They ARE funny, aren't they, Ashlie. So dumb you have to wonder what were these legislators thinking. Were they thinking?

Delighted you had a good laugh and enjoyed this 'funny stuff.' Be sure to visit the other 4 crazy dumb laws hubs so you can laugh some more.

Thanks for stopping by and best wishes to you, too.

AskAshlie3433 from WEST VIRGINIA on February 17, 2011:

OMG, so funny. I can't believe these are actual laws. A chicken crossing the road? No lights on driving sown main street? Funny stuff. I enjoyed a good laugh. Thanks. Hope all is well. Best wishes. Take care.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 29, 2010:

Yes, Tammy, in Florida:

Breaking those dishes is not the way,

But throwing knives - hey, that's okay.

And couches may not sit in carports.

Wonder if it's okay if there they lay.

Not sure about the Lazy Boy question; would have to ask one of our super-intelligent legislators (?)

Tammy L from Jacksonville, Texas on December 29, 2010:

Breaking more than 3 dishes is illegal. So I guess throwing knives at him is okay? Couches aren't allowed in carports. Would a Lazy Boy be okay?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 26, 2010:

You are so right, Micky. Some 'uninformed' legislators just want to take the fun out of everything! :)

Micky Dee on December 23, 2010:

No bike riding in swimming pools! Barbaric!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on October 22, 2010:

What a pleasure to see you here, David. Thanks for visiting and loving it. As for sharing with your friends on FB, please do. And tell them about the other 4 crazy, dumb laws hubs, too.

kentuckyslone on October 20, 2010:

Loved it, think I will even share it with my friends on facebook!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 17, 2010:

Oh, yes, kirstine, that rather obscene-looking object sticking out of the camel's mouth is its tongue. Yech! Thanks for visiting.

kirstine congress on September 17, 2010:

o my god what is sticking out of the camal mouth is that his tongue dat just to much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 28, 2010:

Tim, the $500 fine for detonating a nuclear device in Chico, CA applies to "within the city limits." If you must detonate your device, you might consider moving just a little way OUTSIDE the city limits.

Thanks for your visit and your funny comment. Much appreciated.

Tim Blackstone on August 28, 2010:

A bit of light relief but also very useful. I now know not to detonate my nuclear device when I am travelling through Chico. Any suggestions where I am allowed to try it out?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 06, 2010:

Hi, Jim. I agree about the "strange things." Our present administration is a great example of your erudite comment.

Thanks for stopping by.

Springboard from Wisconsin on August 06, 2010:

lolol. I always get a kick out of this sort of thing, and THEN I'm reminded how much time our lawmakers spend on a lot of very strange things.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on July 16, 2010:

So nice to meet you, Bianca, thanks for visiting and I'm delighted I could provide some comic relief. That's my favorite thing to do.

Take a look at the other 4 crazy law hubs any time you need another laugh. And thanks for the gracious comments.

Bianca Morris - Legal Lawyer on July 16, 2010:

Talk about perfect timing! I came across your hub just when I needed some comic relief. Another great hub! Good job!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on June 02, 2010:

Petra, your "something else" comment did it. Whether you want to or not, you are now one of my BFFs.

So glad I discovered you.

Petra Vlah from Los Angeles on June 02, 2010:

The laws may be crazy and dumb, but your comments next to each of them is what really makes every thing so much more fun. You are something else, just love it all.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on March 17, 2010:

Thank you AAH, for the kind comment.

Yes, people are funny, perhaps because life is often funny, too.

Anyway, we all have to grin and bear it. None of us are going to get out of it alive.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on March 14, 2010:

Funny you should mention that law. I published it in my hub, Dumb Crazy Laws Worldwide and abscribed it to a law on the books in York, UK.

And speaking of mentally unstable monarchs, we have had some legislators in many states whose "porch lights are not lit."

Come to think of it, some presidents, too. But that's not a hub - that's a book - with many volumes.

Andria on March 12, 2010:

In the UK, we have a law that states something like 'you may legally kill a Scotsman within the confines of the city walls [of York] providing he carries a carries a bow and arrows'.

When my idiot scottish neighbour was living beyond all reason and driving me, the street and my cats nuts, I thought about dragging him to York more than once. I intended to stop off in Harrogate and buy him a crossbow and arrows.

It's amazing some of the laws that still exist. We have one about boiled eggs, bare-breasted woman in Liverpool and driving cows down a highway.

Our excuse is the fact that we've had some mentally unstable monarchs ;)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on February 21, 2010:

Niteriter - thank you for the kind words.

That's one of the great things about Hubpages - visits from hubbers like yourself and other fans who give you approbation and often 'splain things.

Niteriter from Canada on February 21, 2010:

That nicomp is a bad ole puddy tat. Always splaining things and taking the fun out of igno wance. I liked it better when the camel laws made no sense.

Another good laugh, as always. My visits here are never unrewarded.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 30, 2009:

Thanks Ivorwen and nicomp for reminding me that there really were camels in Arizona at one time. I did a little more research and learned that Jefferson Davis when he was Secretary of War in President Pierce's cabinet, approved a plan to import camels for freighting and communication in the Southwest. 33 camels were imported from the near East and later another 41. They were accompanied by a Syrian camel driver, Hadji Ali, who was promptly named "Hi Jolly" by the soldiers at the Camp Verde, Texas base. In 1857 the camels were used to help open a wagon road across Arizona from Fort Defiance to California. Although the camels proved their worth, the war department abandoned the experiment and the camels were left to fend for themselves on the Arizona desert.

nicomp really from Ohio, USA on November 25, 2009:

I think there used to be 2 species of camels in North America. They were probably gone long before Arizona passed their silly law. :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 12, 2009:

The tail light law made me laugh, too. If you read all 4 of my dumb law hubs, you'll see an inordinate amount of laws concerning tail lights. Almost like those law makers had TLO -Tail Light Obsession. And you're right about the camels - an interesting piece of Old West history.

Ivorwen from Hither and Yonder on November 11, 2009:

Thanks for the laugh! Some of the laws make more sense than others, the one about pickups, I just don't get... Must be a bunch of yuppies there.

Actually, there were camels in Arizona at one time. They were imported during the gold rush days, but camel caravans never really caught on, and most of the camels were left to roam.

I love the one about cats having to have tail-lights! I have been to Sterling many times, but have never seen a cat with a tail light.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 10, 2009:

I don't know how other hubbers feel when they get positive comments from other excellent writers, but for me it makes my day. Thank you, jayjay40 and marcofratelli. I'm working on an international dumb laws hub now & will keep you posted. Have a great life!

marcofratelli from Australia on November 09, 2009:

You can't have more than two dildos in your home?! lol. I think that dumb law that if a robber hurt himself in your home it's your fault is in Australia too. This is an awesome hub, I love it!!

jayjay40 from Bristol England on November 09, 2009:

'You are not allowed to break more than 3 dishes per day or chip the edges of more than 4 cups and/or saucers.'It's a good job I don't live in Florida or I'll be in prison a lot. Another a graet hub-brilliant

Related Articles