Yves mission is to help women attract positive relationships by establishing personal parameters and greater self-worth.
It's All About "Breaking the Ice"
Without further ado, let us get straight to the matter of the quiz. Please know that I have given this quiz to many individuals over the years. It is a simple test with four easy questions that actually secure some amazing and revealing results. It is also bona fide psychology test. The whole thing takes five to seven minutes to complete. You’ll need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. If you don’t have anything handy to write on and you’re at a restaurant (with your date, of course), ask the waiter for a cocktail napkin.
Let me say, in my experience, men are very open to this quiz. Women, on the other hand, are sometimes slightly less open to being quizzed, but they're still pretty open nonetheless. The point is that it is okay to feel a little bit vulnerable about asking or answering questions, but really, don't worry about it. We're supposed to be having fun here! Your date gets to put on his or her thinking cap and you both get to have some laughs after the quiz.
Furthermore, your findings give you something hilarious to refer to down the road should the relationship continue to move forward. Honestly, I’ve never had anyone refuse to take the quiz. Everyone I’ve asked has been a good sport about answering the questions and quite thoughtfully at that. I love that people will offer up a bit of themselves in this manner and so will you.
First of all, your date must use adjectives to answer each of the questions. Remind him (or her) that there are no right or wrong answers. Furthermore, I suggest you take this test yourself, before you even look to find out what each question signifies. Only then will your answers be honest and authentic. The questions are as follows:
- What is your favorite animal? Describe why using three adjectives.
- What is your favorite color? Describe why using three adjectives.
- What is your favorite body of water? Describe why using three adjectives.
- You find yourself in a white room with no doors or windows. How do you feel and describe why using three adjectives.
Give Your Date or Friends a Few Minutes to Reflect
Let your dates take their time in choosing the adjectives they feel best describes the nouns they have chosen. The last question has already provided the noun (White Room) thus, only adjectives are needed for the fourth question. Remember, this quiz does not require super quick responses. If your date wants to think about their answers for a minute or two, that's perfectly fine. Only after your date has finished answering each question are you free to reveal the meanings of the questions.
The Meaning Behind the Questions
- The adjectives for the animal question reveal how one perceives themselves.
- The adjectives for the color question reveal how one thinks others' perceive them.
- The adjectives for the body of water question describe one's feelings about sex.
- The adjectives for the white room question reveal one's feelings about death.
Pretty cool, right? (Funny story: One of the most unique responses I have heard for the “body of water” question was "a lifeless, murky pool.")
As an aside, I have found questions one and two to be interchangeable in that sometimes, an individual perceives himself as the color adjectives more so than the animal adjectives, and vice versa. My advice is to just go with it. I have researched this matter and it appears the jury is still out on the animal/color thing.
Your Date Just Might Like Flamingos
Don't Be Overly "Judgy"
Another interesting observation I have discovered is that most people (who I know personally) have calm and reassuring adjectives for the “death” question. This never fails to amaze me. Apparently, most of my acquaintances are at peace with the idea of death. Is that awesome or what? However, I cannot say whether my findings apply to the general population. For example, my own “white room” adjectives were less than calm....they were more along the lines of “Get-me-the-heck-out-of-here-immediately-or-I-will-die.” Guess the joke was on me. Oh well, we are all a work in progress, after all.
My point is this: Don’t be too hard on your dates if you believe their adjectives are not quite “up to par.” They may have potential coming out of their ears for all you know. Anyway, the quiz is basically another interesting tool with which to make dating more fun as you try to figure out which person is right for you. Think of it as a savvy method for getting some insight into the inner workings of your dates.
On the other hand, if you meet someone whose favorite body of water is “the bottom of a dark, bloody pool," I suggest you walk away, slowly, maybe even with your back to the wall.
A Word About Flirting
Flirting is the best ice-breaker in the world. I am sorry to say that most American women (according to International surveys) are really bad at it---mostly because we are fearful that the guy will get too "excited" about our flirting and get the "wrong idea" about how fast we want to move---which usually isn't that fast in our minds, but very fast in his. (Sigh). So anyway, the remedy to combat this fear is to flirt a little bit and in a subtle way. (Don't worry, he will pick up on the cues---it's what he lives for) Anyhoo, one might ask: How does one flirt "a little bit?"
I'll tell you.
When flirting, subtlety is everything. The trick is to come off as a desirable grown-up, (who'd have thought) rather than a silly tween. The corny come-on lines might be Okay for a teenager, but they really don't work for adults. In other words, please forget every corny pick up line you've ever heard unless you're an old married couple and you want to give your wife something to roll her eyes about.
Bad and Good Flirting
Here are two bad examples: "I'm not a painter, but I can picture me and you together" or....."What time do you have to be back in heaven?"
Two words: Horrifyingly cringeworthy. Don't do it. I beg you.
The right way to flirt is to give a sincere complment such as, "That's a beautiful tie" or, "I love the color of your shirt....is that your favorite color?" And if you're a man? You guessed it: "That dress looks really beautiful on you" or, "You have beautiful hands---they're so expressive." Who knew that giving a compliment could be so effective in getting someone's attention?
Also, briefly touching his or her forearm, shoulder, or knee is another easy and effective way to flirt. Even tilting your head, smiling, and saying something pleasant such as, "You're really interesting. You make me think about things in a different way. I really like that." All these examples are short and sweet, but more importantly, they get the point across---that you're interested in this charming person sitting across from you.
If the above examples are a little too tame for your tastes and if you're a woman, rest assured, no man will mind if you come on a little stronger. You just have to be careful that you are not signaling to your date that you're available for dessert at his place (and in his bedroom) later on---unless that is your goal, in which case, you don't have to be subtle at all. But Remember, getting sexually involved too quickly nearly always backfires on the woman because she becomes more emotionally invested in the "relationship" much sooner than he does once sex has occurred.
As for men, they should never flirt too excessively in the beginning stages of dating. Heavy flirting actually makes women uncomfortable because she wonders if he only views her as a potential sexual conquest. That's a real turn-off for the ladies.
If I had to pick one really good flirting tip which works for both men and women, it would be this: Look at his/her mouth and then his/her eyes, two or three times in quick succession. Then give him a half-smile with one corner of your mouth, making eye contact for a full second or two. This lets him know that you may be interested in kissing those beautiful lips of his or hers one day soon.....or maybe later on tonight.
The Top Five Countries That Have the Most Flirtatious Women
Italy & Argentina
A Fun Question
Here is a relevant and fun question created by eHarmony, a respected online dating site:
• Suppose your life is a movie. What is the title of the movie and who would play you?
This question is unique. More importantly, the answer you get gives you some insight as to how your date perceives him or her self. A person who is especially witty will come up with a hilarious answer. A more serious individual will lend the question some gravity. It’s all good. You’ve found out some things about this individual you didn’t know before. Yipee!
Which Tree Do You Like Best? ( Don't Peek Below and Don't Over Think It)
Here Are Your Tree Answers!
- Generous and moral, you reach for the skies and aspire to be the best.
- Honest, responsible and balanced, yet you also love having fun!
- Smart and thoughtful, you are actually a great thinker.
- Insightful, philosophical, and unique, you are truly one-of-a-kind.
- Self-reliant and strong, you have nerves of steel.
- Your aura is warm and bright. Kindness and love mean everything to you.
- Happy, calm, and non-judgmental, you are a sincere and empathetic person.
- Charming, energetic, and adventurous to the point where you sometimes shock people.
- You are very forgiving. Furthermore, you have a very healthy, optimistic outlook on life.
Hopefully, this article has pinpointed a few ways to help you understand more about your dates, not to mention your friends and family. When all is said and done, the only way to learn about people is to spend time with them asking relevant but fun questions, as well as engaging in other entertaining activities. Truth be told, most people love talking about themselves anyway, and now you've secured some useful and interesting tools with which to allow them do just that. And, if at the end the night, you find that your heart is still fluttering ever so happily after your date, so much the better. You might have found yourself someone to flirt with full-time. Yay!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2016 Yves
Yves (author) on July 05, 2017:
Hi Yoleen....Flirting doesn't have to be such a big deal. It's just a fun way to send a compliment and stir up "something" in the air. However, it does not have to lead to anything. However, in today's culture, flirting has become more complicated for some, unfortunately. I'm glad you had a great time at snow camp!
Yoleen Lucas from Big Island of Hawaii on July 05, 2017:
Hi, SavvyDating! I just got back from my beloved High Cascade Snowboard Camp! As usual, I had the time of my life!
I also learned something about how to flirt with men. In an earlier post here, I mentioned a man who ignored my compliment, and later I found out he had hooked up with a woman, only to abandon her once camp ended. When I posted on FaceBook that I was attending camp this year, he asked which session I was attending(we're not friends on FB). I told him I was attending Session One. Lo and behold, he was there! And he was very friendly to me the whole time, though we didn't see each other much. I think he initially didn't recognize my comment as flirtation, but after thinking about it and maybe discussing it with some others, he realized it. He is Asian, and as far as I know, Asian women are not so bold, and women in general don't flirt with men outside their race.
Men are more stand-offish because they're used to women who only give to get something. They're also more likely to be wounded. When getting on the bus to go to the slopes, I made a comment about sitting next to a hottie. He ignored me. I calmly talked with some others, and the subject came up that it was Father's Day. I asked the man if he was a father, and he said yes. So I heartily wished him a Happy Father"s Day, and he warmed up. It turned out he was divorced, and his 14 year old son was there, and they were trying to build their fragile relationship.
When flirting with men, it's best to show you're not asking for anything, just enjoying the pleasure of their company. That goes for their women as well.
Yves (author) on January 28, 2017:
Lol. The Spanish women would love you, I'm sure. Thanks for the nudge. I miss the savvy dating topics myself...and it is time to shift back...
Have a great weekend Frank, and welcome back!
Frank Atanacio from Shelton on January 27, 2017:
I think I'm going to move to Spain.. :) I miss these types of hubs thank you for the share
Yves (author) on May 21, 2016:
Yoleen, Flirting with a couple would backfire on you. It really is best to flirt with singles only, unless the couple are close friends of yours. That way the couple knows everyone is just having fun being flirty/complimentary.
By the way, I thought it was funny that you said, "Nice view." LOL. That's hilarious. Too bad they didn't appreciate it. Just remember, don't flirt with the super young one's. It isn't quite appropriate. ;)
Yoleen Lucas from Big Island of Hawaii on May 20, 2016:
My first time at snowboard camp, I met a pro I had a crush on. A lot of other women on the staff had a crush on him, too. He had his wife and child with him. I didn't flirt with him because I wasn't sure how to go about it, but I thought it was awful the way his wife was snubbed.
I was wondering - what if I had flirted with him AND his wife? This is also good to know in case I'm flirting with someone, totally unaware that he is already taken.
Yoleen Lucas from Big Island of Hawaii on May 20, 2016:
Once, a couple of guys were holding a sign. Ogling them, I remarked about the fabulous view, then said, "Oh - I'm supposed to be looking at the sign! That looks good, too.". One guy said, "Take it easy, miss!". The other didn't know how to react. LOL!
That doesn't seem to work as well on older men. Once at snowboard camp, a man entered the living room wearing just shorts, and I said, "Wow - I get to enjoy the view!". He ignored me. Later, I discovered he had hooked up with someone - but didn't bother to keep in touch with her after camp ended.
That's why I prefer young guys. They're more available and appreciative, and less threatening.
Yves (author) on April 13, 2016:
Thanks, Nell. Be sure to give the first test to your friends. They'll love it and you get some good laughs! ;)
Nell Rose from England on April 13, 2016:
How clever! something I would never think of, but this was fascinating reading! and I love the tests!
Yves (author) on April 06, 2016:
I knew there was a reason I liked you so well. With adjectives like that, how can one not. Even the Orangutan answer was awesome, though at first glance, one might wonder about the gorilla thing. LOL. But yes, gentlemen like you may very well be an endangered species. And I agree, your aura is "warm and bright.
Oh, this test is such fun. Thank you for participating, dear Jodah.
Yves (author) on April 06, 2016:
Great adjectives, Flourish, Naturally, I am not at all surprised. My son recently gave the quiz to a group of about 20 people. Most of them had "not so great" adjectives for "White Room," so maybe feeling alarmed is more common than not, after all. When it comes to our feelings about death, you and I are not alone, Ha! Thank you for sharing and spreading the love!
John Hansen from Queensland Australia on April 06, 2016:
Haha, Savvy, this was hilarious, especially my answers.
I. Orangutan: strong, intelligent, endangered
2. Green natural, fresh, clean
3. Whitsunday Passage, Queensland: clear, calm, beautiful
4. sterile, claustrophobic, boring
Movie: The Truman Show, Jim Carey
Tree, No.6: Your aura is warm and bright. Kindness and love mean everything to you.
Make of that what you will, but this was fun.
FlourishAnyway from USA on April 06, 2016:
I love your quiz, Savvy! I really love cats (confident, independent, resilient) and the color purple (attention-getting, creative, visionary). I'd be so freaked out at how in the world I got in a white room with no doors or no windows it would be hard to come up with adjectives but they'd be alarmist, I'm sure. Not good, huh? Sharing this conversational gem! Sharing and G+ing.
Yves (author) on April 05, 2016:
It's my pleasure, Seshagopalan. Knowing I have helped people to date better makes my day....so I thank you!
Seshagopalan Murali from Chennai, Tamil Nadu on April 05, 2016:
This hub is an eye-opener for how to flirt. Many Thanks!
Yves (author) on April 05, 2016:
Ha! What a great comment to read first thing in the morning, Frank. I loved the picture of the kids, too. Actually, I'm glad the hub made you laugh. It's too easy to view dating as a necessary evil when, in fact, it should be fun, fun, fun. Always a pleasure to have you drop by. I hope you take the first quiz in time. It's actually quite good!
Yves (author) on April 05, 2016:
Oh, you flirty girl, you. Thank you for reading, DDE. Always a pleasure to see you. I stopped by one of your hubs recently, but I don't think it went through due to an HP glitch. But I haven't forgotten about you, my dear.
Frank Atanacio from Shelton on April 05, 2016:
Savvy.... what a hub.. didn't know how to take it...:) The first photo of the children had me cracking up so the hub went that way.. Great fun to read.. perhaps too entertaining... nonetheless I loved it.... :)
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on April 05, 2016:
Hi savvydating Great to stop by and read another one of interesting hubs. I voted Yes. I remain calm and I'm as witty as anything! That is just me!
Yves (author) on April 04, 2016:
Thank you, Sparrowlet. So glad you enjoyed the hub. I'm not at all surprised that Spanish women know how to flirt. Sadly, I wish Smerican women felt "safer" about flirting. The culture has changed, and it's tough for young women to be able to flirt properly. It's a social media thing---but I'll leave that for another hub perhaps. Anyway, it's so nice to meet you!
Katharine L Sparrow from Massachusetts, USA on April 04, 2016:
Wonderfully creative hub that is useful too! I enjoyed the portion about flirting and the suggestions there. I'm also not surprised to see Spanish women as world's top flirters! I lived there for a while, and let me tell you, the men expect it! Good job on this, enjoyed.