53 Dumb Crazy Stupid Laws
Many dumb, crazy, stupid laws are antiquated and old-fashioned because they are based on the standards and mores of the past, particularly laws prohibiting work or other such activity on Sunday – the so-called blue laws. Others restrict the activity of women. Most are so crazy you have to wonder how and why they were ever enacted.
When I decided to research “dumb laws,” I found literally, thousands of them – some repealed but many still on the books, simply not enforced. Here are the 53 most hilarious dumb laws I found. Hope you laugh as hard as I did when discovering and writing about them.
A FUNNY FAKE moustache? I resemble that remark.
Loony Laws
In Alabama, it's illegal to wear a funny fake mustache to church. So if you’re a God-fearing man, don’t wear a fake mustache to church, and above all, don’t wear one that’s funny.
In Alabama, putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. Could we call this condemnation by condiment?
In Fairbanks, Alaska, it's illegal to give a moose alcohol and it's also illegal for moose to have sex on city streets. This one makes a little sense. If you get the moose plastered, no telling what he or she will do – on or off the streets.
In Arizona, donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. Was there a lot of this happening?
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus in Arizona. How about if I just insult it a little?
You are not allowed to suddenly start or stop a car in front of a McDonald's or any other drive-in restaurant in Little Rock, Arkansas. That law was probably sponsored by Chili’s, Applebee’s, Denny’s and all the other sit-down restaurants in town lacking drive-ins.
In Arkansas, a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. Ladies! You’re under no such restrictions!
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour in California. How often do you see a vehicle exceed 0 miles per hour without a driver?
In Denver, Colorado, next-door neighbors may not lend each other vacuum cleaners. How did that law get on the books in the first place? Was it supported by the vacuum cleaner companies who wanted to sell more vacuums and “clean up”?
Crazy Laws
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour in Connecticut. If they stop you, they should give you a medal and a TV interview!
In Connecticut, In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. Do Heinz and Vlasic know about this?
No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind in Connecticut. It they are blind, how will they know if they are using a white cane?
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging in Florida. Does that mean hanging the horse?
If an elephant is parked at or tied to a parking meter in Florida, the parking fee must be paid just as if a car had parked there. This is not as far-fetched as it may seem. The Ringling Circus Museum is located on the property where John Ringling once lived in Sarasota , Florida . Porsches, Pontiacs, or pachyderms – no difference.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is not only illegal; it is impossible – unless you’re a porcupine, too.
It is considered an offense to shower naked in Florida. Move to Indiana . You can take a bath there during the months of April and September.*
* Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March in Indiana. Was this law sponsored by the deodorant companies? Move to Florida . You can take a shower there. Just don’t get naked!
It is Illegal in Idaho for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. Must be a lot of fat happy broads there.
Chicago, Illinois forbids fishing while sitting on a giraffe's neck. Wonder if that would apply if you are sitting atop an elephant – or a water buffalo – or a hippopotamus?
One-armed piano players who perform in Iowa must do so for free. Now, that is definitely unfair, biased and prejudiced. Why should they perform for free? One-handed piano players of the world, unite!
In Louisiana, you could go to jail for up to a year for making a false promise. So be sure you mean it when you say your vows at your wedding. “I do, I do, I swear, sweetheart, I do.”
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol in Louisiana. So it’s O.K. to use a real gun?
In Massachusetts no gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. How about if I put him in the front seat? With a seat belt?
Beavers in Michigan could be fined up to $10,000 per day for building unlicensed dams. The state once sent a letter to a landowner in Grand Rapids ordering him to remove unauthorized wood debris dams. The reply sent by the landowner was widely circulated around the Internet as he pointed out that the "wood debris dams" belonged to beavers and he was not responsible. He could have told them, “I am not my beaver’s keeper.”
Dumb Laws
Are you laughing at these crazy, funny, dumb, loopy, stupid laws? Here are some more!
- Dumb Crazy Stupid Laws - Part 2
The original Dumb Crazy Stupid Laws featured 53 of the dumbest laws I could find. Researching and reading them is strangely addictive, so here are 74 more laws just as dumb and some even dumberer. Enjoy. - Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws
I confess. I am addicted to crazy, dumb, stupid, funny laws. This is my third hub on the subject. I found so many dumb laws that I had to divide this hub... - Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws
Since I am still addicted to reading and writing about dumb laws, here is the second section of my Hubpost on Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws (for Alabama through Montana). You will find that the following... - Dumb Crazy Laws Worldwide
After writing four Hubs on the dumbest, craziest, funniest, looniest laws I could find in the U.S., I extended my reach to the rest of the world. - Dumb and Dumber-No using slot machines in an outhous...
Are you ready to explore some more of our great country? I hope you brought you boots; some of this gets really deep!! Our first stop is Ohio: It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. ...
No one may cross Minnesota state lines with a duck on top of their head. If you wander around with a duck on the top of your head, you can expect to run afoul – get it, afowl - of the law in any state.
Donut holes may not be sold in Lehigh, Nebraska. So in Lehigh, do as the Lehighans do – be prepared to eat the (w)hole donut and nothing but the donut.
It is illegal to sleep naked in Minnesota. Where do we go to join the “naked police”?
In Reno, Nevada, the sale of sex toys, which includes "any device ... designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs," is forbidden. This law is rather ironic. Brothels are legal in Nevada where you can buy the services of someone to “stimulate” you. But you can't buy a “toy” to “stimulate” yourself.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway in Nevada. Better stay on the side streets.
In New Hampshire, you may not tap your feet, nod your head or in any way keep time with the music played in a tavern, restaurant or cafe. The only actions they left out of this law were humming, whistling, singing, dancing and breathing.
New York residents may not greet one another by putting their thumb to their nose and wiggling their fingers. Guns and knives – okay. But thumbs are a no-no.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door in New York. Might make more sense to look toward your wallet and your handbag.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields in North Carolina. So keep your elephant at home and use your tractor instead.
A person may be jailed in Fargo, North Dakota for wearing a hat while dancing or wearing a hat to an event where dancing is taking place. I doubt that this law is enforced any more but don’t take any chances. Don’t wear a hat. Just be sure you’re wearing pants.
In North Dakota, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. In South Carolina, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Just to be on the safe side, take off your shoes in North Dakota. And stay awake when you visit cheese factories in South Carolina.
In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. I’m bewildered. How do you get a trout tipsy? a pike pickled? a perch pie-eyed? a bass blotto? a walleye wasted? a salmon smashed? A catfish cockeyed? More significantly, how do you know if you succeeded?
In Oregon, a person may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway. Does that mean racing your car or some other interesting (?) activity?
It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors in Pennsylvania. I can’t think of a comment that would be funnier than this dumb law.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs in South Carolina. You can lead a horse to water, but how in the world would you get him into a bathtub?
Skunks may not be carried into the state of Tennessee. Guess it’s okay if the skunks wander across the state line under their own power.
In Tennessee, driving is not to be done while asleep. Wish they would enforce that one during rush hour in all 50 states.
An anti-crime law in Texas requires criminals to give their victims notice, oral or written, 24 hours in advance of the crime they are planning to commit and the nature of that crime. "Dear Mr. Bank President, I'm planning to rob your bank tomorrow. Please leave the vault door open.”
In Texas, It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. Shoot all the buffalo you want from the first floor.
In Texas, It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers. And, pray tell, where would you fasten them?
It is illegal to milk another person's cow in Texas. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s cow.
Birds have the right of way on all highways in Utah. Is that where we got the expression: “jay walking”?
In Vermont, whistling underwater is illegal. That one I’d like to see for myself.
It is illegal to tickle women in Virginia. I guess it’s OK to tickle men.
In Waynesboro, Virginia, it was once illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband walked in front of the car waving a red flag. This law may have been enacted by a disgruntled wife looking for a sure-fire way to eliminate her spouse.
It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions driving around the state of Washington to stop at city limits and telephone the local chief of police before entering town. Just like the previously mentioned Texas anti-crime law, the police want criminals to RSVP.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June in Wyoming. Unless, of course, you get it to sign a release.
And my all-time favorite: Road kill may be taken home for supper in West Virginia. Whatever you do, do not accept that invitation for a home-cooked dinner.
If you find any dumb, crazy, stupid laws I haven't mentioned, just add a comment and let me know. I'll add them and credit you in a future Hub.
© Copyright BJ Rakow 2011 All rights reserved Author, Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So
Comments
John Hansen from Australia (Gondwana Land) on April 17, 2015:
I had to take my teeth out drbj, these demanded a loud bout of laughter. Hillarious stuff and very very silly laws. Those one armed piano players should at least be able to charge half the going rate. Voted up.
Sky newhall on July 11, 2014:
My fav crazy law is in Georgia on a Sunday u can't walk down the st. With an ice cream cone in ur BACK pocket nothing about ur front one tho
TotalHealth from Hermosa Beach, CA on December 20, 2013:
Hilarious! To think people considered intelligent, reasonable and having influence conjured up these ridiculous laws. Too funny! Thanks for the entertaining laugh. - Voted up.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 18, 2013:
Thanks for the Up and the funny, billdo.
Karen on July 03, 2013:
OMG so funny I am planning to do my school speech on funny laws
Mary Hyatt from Florida on February 14, 2013:
Since it is Valentine's Day and I'm in the mood for love, I need to go out and find a porcupine, but I'd be breaking the law since I live in Florida, right??? And I need to keep my clothes on to take my shower.
Voted UP all the way!
idigwebsites from United States on February 14, 2013:
Hahahaha. Are these lawmakers under the influence or what?!? These are downright absurd. Or they're better off doing comedy than passing these laws. LOL. Voted up, funny and shared. Great job my friend. =)
Marlene Bertrand from USA on February 06, 2013:
I was already laughing really hard until I read the Texas anti-crime law. That one had me laughing histerically on the floor and then every law after that kept me roaring from the gut. These laws are so dumb, but they are so worth the laugh. Thanks. I needed that!
Don A. Hoglund from Wisconsin Rapids on February 06, 2013:
The one about having to clean up the debris from beavers hit sort of close to home. When I lived in Moline, IL there was a deep ravine running through my property. One day I got a notice from the city that I had to clean up all the debris in the part of the ravine that was on my property because some one had complained about it. Most of what was down there had been there for many years, as long as fifty or more. Additionally practically no body could see it except for the people who lived directly across the ravind from me or someone visiting them.
Mahaveer Sanglikar from Pune, India on February 06, 2013:
There are Dumb Law Makers everywhere in the world....
billd01603 from Worcester on October 09, 2012:
very funny, voted up and funny
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Do not carry that skunk into the great state of Tennessee, pst, or face the consequences of the law, crazy as it is. Now dragging it, though uncomfortable for the skunk, may save you a penalty. Don't you have to wonder why these crazy laws made it onto the books in the first place?
Thank you, m'dear, for the too funny and the Pin. Do visit the other 4 hubs in this series for more laughs.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Hi, garage-remotes - what a fascinating name! Thanks for finding these crazy laws hilarious. And the hub great!
But sad? I dunno.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Nice to meet you, jennzie. All these laws were still on the books when I found them - simply not enforced (I hope).
But as you point out, since you live in PA, if you must sleep atop your refrigerator, please bring it inside. Thanks for finding this very amusing and voting up and more!
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
We do have more than our share of those crazy laws in Florida, Linda, so keep them in mind re porcupines and taking showers.
Delighted you found this an excellent compilation of crazy, funny, fabulous laws and had some laughs. My pleasure, m'dear.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thank you, Divacratus, for enjoying this. Yes, we live in a crazy world, and if you watch much TV these days you can see firsthand how it is getting crazier and crazier.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Dear mary, if by chance, you happen to break any of these many crazy Florida laws, I will get you out of jail . . . if it takes me twenty years! Promise.
Thank you, mluv, for the UP, and 'the rest.'
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thank you, Jainismus, for visiting and finding this to be a great collection of stupid, crazy laws. Do appreciate your Up vote and the sharing with your followers.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
You and I, Don, could probably write several books about the stories behind old crazy laws still on the books.
Some of them, I am certain, were due to actual events. Maybe some clever train robber like Jesse James, for example, did use block salt on the tracks to derail a train. Stranger things have happened. Thanks for your interesting supposition.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Nice to meet you, Bonnie. Delighted that these are the funniest laws you have ever seen, and you luv my comments. Just remember to watch your wallet and your handbag while riding in those dangerous New York elevators.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Happy you found out in time, snigdhal, although it put a damper on your fishing plans in Chicago. Just take your giraffe and fish in another state.
Thanks for the hahaha and loving it.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
You say, "I'll just go make luv with a porcupine, pick up a gorillla and chuck him on the backseat on the way home, then we'll get the road kill and go home for a doughtnut with no hole."
Now it is easy to figure out, almosthuman how you got your name. Just jokin'.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
That law about legally beating your wife in Arkansas once a month, Jon, might be funny to you and an officer but think about this. There is no restriction about a wife beating her husband EVERY DAY!
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thanks, The king, for letting me know that in Kansas it is legal to throw knives at people wearing 'stripped' suits as long as you don't hit them. What if the stripes on the suits are horizontal like those convicts used to wear in the old days? Then again, they would have nothing to worry about from me. I couldn't hit the side of a barn.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thanks for the haha, sponge bob, and the 'goods lawsss' comment. Did you go to spelling classes by any chance with bethony. Just wonderin'.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
bethony - you are wrong on two counts, my dear, with your erroneous statement of 'you guys are morrons.' First, I am not a guy, and second I know how to spell morons correctly.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Hi, Tracy. It's good to know that a policeman in Ohio may bite a dog to quiet him. Do new recruits, I wonder, know that when they first apply to sign up?
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thank you, tankly, for providing the rational rationale for the cactus-cutting law in Nevada. I can easily visualize cactus-mad tourists running around purloining every cactus in sight. Thanks for pointing that out.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Ethel Smith, you are a philosopher of profundity. Yes, 'the world is nuts, but funny.' But, for the moment, it's the only world we have.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thank you, Hubertsvoice, for adding that In Ft. Collins, Colorado it's illegal to spit on a sidewalk or to walk on College Avenue carrying a lunch bucket.
How about if you walk on a different avenue and carry your empty lunch bucket in case you have the urge to spit? Would that work?
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Hi, Alana - so you were crying from laughing so hard at the Michigan law that would fine beavers for building dams without a license?
I love your image of beavers applying for licenses as a lawyer, cashier, doctor, and waiter. But the question is, my dear, would they have the patience to wait in line?
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Thank you, chassylynn for sharing that crazy Mashellton, Iowa law that it is illegal for a horse to eat a fire hydrant in that fair city. How about parking meters? Are they fair game? Just wonderin'.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Your OUCH, Holle, reminds me of that old, old joke: How do you have sex with a porcupine? Answer - very carefully!
Thanks for enjoying my responses to these priceless laws and dancing on my buttons. Love that.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on September 26, 2012:
Hey, judi - you have lawyer friends who have a sense of humor? Just kidding, of course. One of my best friends is my attorney who also happens to be my grandson. So I AM biased.
Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on September 22, 2012:
Okay, drbj, if you cannot carry a skunk into Tennessee can you drag one?? O, my...someone had too much time on their hands thinking up these laws. This is too funny. pinned and funny
Rob Reel from Los Angeles, California on August 07, 2012:
Argh! These are hilarious and oh so sad at the same time. Great hub!
Jenn from Pennsylvania on August 07, 2012:
Wow, I would like to know who thought of these laws! I wonder which of these are still in existence. Well, just in case I will avoid sleeping outside on top of a refridgerator since I live in Pennsylvania...
Very amusing hub- voted up and more!
Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on August 07, 2012:
I'll have to remember those Florida laws! Porcupines and showers. Hmmm? I didn't know that. The other laws are funny and fabulous! Excellent compilation hub drbj! As always thank you for the laughs! :)
Kalpana Iyer from India on August 07, 2012:
Haha! Quite enjoyed this one. We live in a crazy world, don't we?
Mary Hyatt from Florida on August 07, 2012:
I see a lot of laws pertain the the state of Florida. I need to be more careful. I sure don't want to break any laws!
I voted this UP, and you know the rest.
Mahaveer Sanglikar from Pune, India on August 07, 2012:
A great collection of stupid laws. Voted up and shared with followers.
Don A. Hoglund from Wisconsin Rapids on August 07, 2012:
It would be interesting to know the story behind old laws. Many probably had some particular person or act in mind, I think of the Roy beans on the bench. The one about the salt on railroad trackes. If it was block salt it might de-rail the train. Maybe some train robber did this.
Bonnie on April 11, 2012:
These are the funniest laws i have ever seen! i luv your comments. My favorite is While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door in New York. Might make more sense to look toward your wallet and your handbag.
snigdhal from hyderabad - India on April 11, 2012:
hahahah love it! Although it did put a damper on my fishing plans in chicago :)
almosthuman on April 09, 2012:
Luv it all I'll just go make luv with a porcipine and pick up a gorrillla and chuck him on the backseat on the way home then we'll get the road kill and go home for a doughtnut with no hole in.
Jon Kohan from Pittsburgh Pa on March 30, 2012:
i think the best law or the funniest is: In Arkansas, a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month".
sure it's not funny to beat women but just to picture telling the cops that "it's okay officer, it's that time of the month for me to beat my girl" and then having the officer agree.
The king on March 14, 2012:
In kansas it is legal to throw knives at people wearing stripped suits as long as you dont hit them
sponge bob on February 27, 2012:
haha goods lawsss
bethony on February 13, 2012:
you guys are morrons
Tracy kn on February 02, 2012:
Ohio • A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him. However, the reverse is not true, even if it's a police dog.
tanklv on January 13, 2012:
The law against cutting a cactus is NOT a weird law - too many people used to take them for personal landscaping use and they are endangered - just like here in Nevada its illegal to cut down ANY desert plant, period.
Very wise laws.
The rest of the list seem just as described.
Ethel Smith from Kingston-Upon-Hull on November 17, 2011:
Hahahaha the world is nuts, but funny
Hubertsvoice on November 13, 2011:
In Ft Collins, Colorado it's illegal to spit on sidewalk or to walk on College Ave carrying a lunch bucket.
Alana on November 08, 2011:
OMG the Michigan law "Beavers in Michigan could be fined up to $10,000 per day for building unlicensed dams" is super ridiculous. I went from laughing to crying haha. I am imagining a beaver in Michigan as a lawyer, a cashier, doctor, and waiter.
chassylynn116 on October 11, 2011:
in Mashellton iowa its illegal for a horse to eat a fire hydrant
Holle Abee from Georgia on September 23, 2011:
With a porcupine??? OUCH!! The laws are priceless, and your responses are even better! I danced on your buttons.
Judi burton on August 18, 2011:
Sure, I'll check it out. I also shared it with a few lawyer friend of mine. They loved it too.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 17, 2011:
Hi, Neil, thanks for finding this. The chuckles are on me. Take a look at the other four in my crazy laws series and I guarantee additional mirth.
Neil Sperling from Port Dover Ontario Canada on August 17, 2011:
Chuckles for sure -- a doughnut without the hole -- sounds good to me.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 14, 2011:
Ah, a woman of few words but mighty nice words at that. Thank you, Judi. Be my guest and check out the other 4 hubs in the Crazy Laws series. :)
Judi Burton from Myrtle Beach on August 14, 2011:
Great hub. Loved it.
drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 14, 2011:
You made my day J. with your comments. Thank you for enjoying these funny, crazy laws. Even more so, since you have a law enforcement background.
I appreciate your visit and your continued support. Have a dynamite weekend.
J.Rocco on August 14, 2011:
Terrific Hub on crazy and stupid laws. I could not believe we actually have these very funny and ridiculous laws still on the books. Coming from a law enforcement background I found your hub very amusing and entertaining.kudos to you for a great job. I will continue to follow all that you write. I enjoy reading them. Thank you.