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Kyler J. Falk: "2021’s Most Likely to Go Viral"

Personal development is a never-ending activity in every aspect of my life. It's better that I change actively, than sit and wait for others

A card, keychain, and a mug... cute. Please don't send me anthrax.

A card, keychain, and a mug... cute. Please don't send me anthrax.

To my surprise and stoking my suspicion, I won HubPages', "2021's Most likely to go viral," award. I wasn't expecting to win anything in the Hubbie Awards—ever—but it is nice to know that there are some individuals out there letting me live rent-free in their heads. Having accidentally stumbled upon the announcement of my win in an email asking me for my address, I felt the community deserved a bit of recognition for their contributions to my winning this not-so-prestigious award.

This entire article is going to be flippant, and I'm going to pour as much satirical angst into it that I can. So, without further ado, let's take a closer look at the drippings HubPages swept my way as a token of their good graces and benevolence.

This card is covering everything in glitter.

This card is covering everything in glitter.

Glitter Bombed

When I first opened the box that my HubPages goodies came in, I could hear a rattling within that I thought was going to be broken glass. Luckily, it was just a keychain jiggling around inside the cup. I want to talk about the envelope containing the cute little card, though, because I'm still trying to get the glitter off of my hands.

As much as I love sending a good glitter bomb to former bosses, ex-lovers, and generally irritating people, I have to say that I would never send one to someone I valued. Receiving this card smothered in glitter has taught me once more that glitter is a weapon of mass destruction. This deadly weapon has coated my clothes and hands in glitter, and every time I see a sparkle on my skin it reminds me of the time I got glitter in my eye as a child.

If HubPages really knew me, or at least read my bio, they would've chosen sand or that workshop moss you see on wood sculptures. I'm an ocean and forest man, and as flamboyant as I can be sometimes, glitter just doesn't fit my bill. Of course, I'm just being flippant with all of this for the sake of an article, I truly appreciate the gesture deep down.

I'm appreciative of the gesture regardless of effort put into it.

I'm appreciative of the gesture regardless of effort put into it.

Kyler Falk- "Most likely to go viral" 2021

Thank you for your contributions to HubPages! You are a shining star, and your passion and honesty make you a valued member of the HubPages community!

— HubPages

Is Honesty an Issue at HubPages?

After cleaning off all of the glitter this card covered me in, I was finally able to read what HubPages had to say within the card. I was half-hoping for a dollar bill to fall out, but the words within were enough to sate my need for valuable content. "Valuable," within this context is being used as a double entendre, of course.

With all of the content I create, the various different topics I write on, "honesty," felt like a weird fallback option for a personal trait to compliment. As authors who focus on evergreen content, are we not expected to write honestly? This seemingly-weak offering of words made me wonder, "Is there a problem with honesty here at HubPages?"

By all appearances, the only ones who seem to have a problem with honesty and transparency are those who plagiarize, and of course those who dictate the ongoing development of HubPages itself. I'm happy I could be a part of the honest crowd in the community, though, and despite how impersonal the compliment feels I am grateful for the kind words.

I'm pretending to sip a beverage from the cup, because I guess this is what normal people do when they receive a mug.

I'm pretending to sip a beverage from the cup, because I guess this is what normal people do when they receive a mug.

I Don’t Drink Anything Besides Water and Protein Shakes

When I first took the mug I received into my hands, I wondered how anyone could drink out of such a small cup. My hand size is below average, but still this mug felt absurdly small. In fact, it is smaller than any of the mugs I currently have within my home.

It isn't as if the size of the mug even matters, my girlfriend is the only one who actually uses them. I only drink water and protein shakes, and on especially frivolous evenings of self-exploration I'll drink whiskey out of my special whiskey-only glasses. Unfortunately, her hands are bigger than mine, and she goes out of her way to buy XXL mugs for her beverage-holding endeavors.

Nonetheless, I felt I needed to keep with the cliché of pretending to sip out of my gift-mug for a selfie. As you can see in the picture above, that's my balcony overlooking our koi pond. It's nice to go out there and listen to the splashing fountains, and to style on the passersby with my unmatched mug collection.

Just to add on to the flippancy a little more, I'm not sure which would've been more valuable: This mug that was made in China, or a letter stating that HubPages replaced the mug with a letter to save on the disproportionate pollution that supporting Chinese industry causes.

It's lonely at the top, or so I'm told.

It's lonely at the top, or so I'm told.

To Those Individuals Who Voted for Me

Last, but most certainly not the least by any measure, I'd like to address those of you within the community who voted for me. You have my undying gratitude for making me feel like there are at least some individuals within the community who regularly keep me on their mind. It's you, and only you that keep me producing personal pieces here at HubPages.

I've been banned by HubPages staff for simply asking questions, but the community was there to pick me back up and support me when I was pushed to the ground. Where no one else will listen, I always find a sympathetic ear here in our little slice of author-paradise. When things are getting dark, I know I can turn to our most devout author-friends for a guiding light.

As I type this, we are all sitting here uneasy about the future of the HubPages community. Changes that are in the favor of business and profit over the community are being made, and the blatant disregard for our requests makes sentiments for the future uneasy. I find my respite in the staunch fact that even should HubPages fail itself and us, we as a community will continue to thrive elsewhere.

I came to HubPages looking for a place to yell into the void, and instead I've found a place full to the brim with love, understanding, and acceptance. There isn't a better set of community members I could ever ask for, even if many of you—including myself— are hard to get along with.

Thank you for everything you guys have done and continue to do for me!

© 2021 Kyler J Falk

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