I've had some issues with disrespect in my 40 years on this planet. I've learned along the way.
Your daily encounters with people appear to be against you. Besides maybe your friends and family, everyone seems to disrespect who you are. They can care less about your personality. When you let your personality show they want to disrespect you: slam the door in your face, step hard on the gas of their car, reject constructive conversations with you, or even treat you like a joke. The list goes on. After a while of consistency in such regard, these rude behaviors wear off on you, causing you to become just like these fools. Great news! You do not have to be like these personality killers. You do not have to be disrespectful. There are a few ways to be friendly in the pit of hell experiences.
Grab a handful of disrespects that people present to you every day and every chance you get, work on internal responses. You can write them down and brainstorm large development solutions. You can ponder on them while sitting in traffic instead of jamming to your favorite tunes. To pull off worthy solutions to move on from these disrespectful comments and actions and still be friendly to these demons you have to have the following skills:
- A sense of humor
- The ability to create
- The ability to think on your own
Fortunately, you do not have to be born with these skills. You can develop them by reading and studying associated education, and of course practice what you've learned. You do not have to be the best of the best. Being mediocre can get you by.
Why do you need a sense of humor?
The importance of a sense of humor is that it counteracts the negative impact of these disrespectful evil people. Because just their presence can convert your positive energy into a feeling of hurt and disgust, having a way to find humor in it all can be your weed killer! Their evil impact can bring back haunting memories just by the negative feeling that they distribute. Keep your mind horror free. I try to watch at least a comedy movie, stand-up, sitcom, etc. every day for at least 20 minutes to feed my soul the funnies. You'll notice in these projects that they (the writer/producer) too have experienced some of the same disrespect that you are going through. They've managed to make those experiences into comedy.
When a rude person is on the attack, I can laugh, instead of being angered. I don't necessarily have to laugh loudly to agitate the wrongdoer. Internal laughter will suffice. The great feeling of a laughing soul can cause us to respond friendly to even the most soul-killing careless brutes on the planet. Never give up on your goals.
Why do you need the ability to create?
Just like the saying says," turn lemons into lemonade". Turn these disrespects into the creation of fun, joy, and prosperity.
Whenever someone steps on the gas when they see me (for whatever reason) or purposely disregard my topics or points that I try to make (for whatever reason) I create a different view of the situation as opposed to what the aggressor is trying to portray. For instance, instead of viewing the driver as saying "F" me, I see it as a race car being late for a Nascar event. I see the car in my mind covered in sponsorships with its driver number, I choose a different number every time. If someone "purposely" disregards my constructive conversation for disrespectful purposes and communicates to me as if what I said didn't matter, I view them as a youngster. I create little puffy cheeks, a snotty nose, and baby hair on the disrespectful person which then motivates me to be friendly and take care of this person as if they were a child. Never count yourself out.
Why do you need the ability to think on your own?
Well, one thing I've noticed while living nearly 40 years on earth is that people fail to think, and usually act off of emotions. If these disrespectful people treat you poorly, we typically react negatively. Meaning, we are angered and feel like a fight. Some of us are sad and want to cry. Some of us are just disgusted and want to curse someone. And some of us stick up the middle finger because of our disgust. Our feelings can lead us down a dark path, even if it isn't towards and against the wrongdoer. When someone disrespects us, we can carry that bad feeling onward to the next person and react poorly towards them, unfortunately. I once was famous for this one.
Thinking about the disrespect and creating a different view of the disrespectful situation go hand and hand. You must first digest what's happening by pondering. If someone slams the door in your face, before reacting, think. Say to yourself, "ok, they just slammed the door in my face. How can I overcome this disrespect without reacting poorly?" Your next step should be to create a view of something pleasant or friendly if a related scene from a comedy sitcom or movie doesn't come to mind immediately to make you laugh. I know when someone slams the door in my face, I say, "uh oh! "They just farted, and they do not want me to smell it. I'll give time so that the fart smell can become nonexistent". The next time I see that person I think about their fart and I giggle internally. So, when I communicate with the person, it's friendly. I'm usually in a great mood.
I've tried to develop these skills in the past; I've failed miserably
Trust me, I have a sense of humor that I feel is the most incredible sense of humor in the world. Unfortunately, others do not feel the same way and I've even been told that I suck. Although people consider your sense of humor, creativity, or thought process, in general, lame, doesn't mean you have to shut yourself off. You can always continue to stick to your abilities, improve on them despite what other people think, and love yourself for who you are. You do not have to showcase your so-called sucky skills to others. Use them for your satisfaction. These sucky skills will keep your soul satisfied and allow you to be a much friendlier person. This soul satisfaction is the significance of your sense of humor, creativity, and thought process. The key is to develop these skills internally.
What are some recommendations for developing the skills necessary to be a friendlier person?
One great way, of many, that worked wonders for me to convert anger into happiness and tap into the sense of humor is to imagine myself angry but do so with some sought of filter attached. For example, there is an angry small chihuahua dog named Nikki that is famous for growling, barking, and biting at her owner out of anger. However, the owner posts these occurrences on Instagram for viewers to enjoy and it is very entertaining. On a few of the owner's posts, they attach funny Disney and other character video filters onto the dog to make the angry dog appear as if she is a funny cartoon character dog. Very, very, very funny seeing a seriously angry chihuahua as kinda like a joke. Be the angry dog with funny video filters attached when disrespected, if you have to in order to keep your sanity.
You can also refer to the following books for guidance on developing skills to become a friendlier person
- How to Be Funny: The One and Only Practical Guide for Every Occasion, Situation, and Disaster (no kidding) - "Excellent book for developing the reactive humor necessary for everyday life."
- How to Be More Creative: An Essential Guide to Ignite Your Creative Spark and Get Ideas Flowing - "Nice read. Every single person is capable of great creativity, and if you develop this ability, your life will change."
- The Science of Intelligent Decision Making: How to Think More Clearly, Save Your Time, and Maximize Your Happiness. Destroy Indecision! (Think Smarter, Not Harder) - "Fabulous book! Very helpful for anyone who has had a past history of making poor decisions."
The skills recommended in this article have worked in my favor for at least five years. I once was an angry little chihuahua living my life banging on bathroom countertops, talking reckless to innocent bystanders, and itching to throw my hamburger at a rude driver who cut me off in traffic for no reason. Now, I've learned to use my sense of humor, creativity, and thinking abilities to my advantage. I use to be a hard-headed prick and closed my ears to sensibly usable advice. Now, I understand the value of the skills presented in this article and constantly improving myself. If I had listened five years ago and used these three skills whenever I was disrespected, I definitely could've gotten much further in life, at least five years further.
Let's do away with the anger and disgust when people disrespect us. Instead, have some fun with those foolish clowns. As long as you're breathing and have life you deserve to be respected. As many of us believe in forgiveness, even if we commit some of the most discourteous acts, we deserve a platform to change; we are not finished in our lives despite how others treat us. Never believe that you're worthless. Never accept disrespect. And never allow disrespect to get the best of you.