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The Tongue of the Angry House Watch Dog

I've been through the mud and have dealt with unfortunate people. So many people are going through the worse and I have heard their stories.


As an Amazon delivery driver, I face watchdogs every single day. From small Chihuahua to larger German Shepherds, these dogs have a loud and confident voice and a strong willingness to protect their homes. At least three times a week, I have to fight my way to deliver a package because of relentless dogs who are motivated to attack when I enter their territory, granted the title by their owners as the king of the yard. It's always interesting when I'm in a determined mode to deliver a package and the dog that stands in my way is just as determined to prevent me from passing him. May the best animal win.

A fighter to the end is an ideal delivery man, especially because of the incredibly tough routes we encounter daily. But that's another subject for another time. Determined to deliver a package, a fierce and self-assured dog have a true challenge on their paws today: me. I’ll definitely whip man's best friends into shape on this sunny day because I'm going to have them running, charging, and barking constantly just as extended as it takes for me to deliver my package for this particular property.

It isn't Amazon Prime's policy to fight with dogs, but today I prefer to have every single one of my packages delivered at the end of my shift. Meaning, I refuse to mark any stop as "undelivered".

So, I park my van on the curb just outside of the beginning of the customer's driveway. Amazon Prime doesn't really want drivers to pull into customers' driveways. They want us to walk from the curb to the safe delivery location.

There is a dog in the yard who is angrily barking at me as it should. I run right, I run left as making a football move and the dog is as fast as I am, maybe faster. The barks are loud and aggressive I can see that the dog wants to bite a chunk out of my neck. I stand my ground, plotting a move. I have a box (package) that I can use to shield myself from the sharp teeth of the vicious dog; it is fully aware of my barrier and calculates its moves of attack. I charge with the box but the dog moves back and around and frees itself from the barrier. I step back. This dog is quite smart and relentless. But I'm not worried; there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Although I'm not supposed to, I hop into my vehicle and drive as close to the house as possible by way of driveway. The dog backs up and smartly figures out that I made a boo-boo. I left the side door open and abracadabra the dog appears at the sliding door opening, getting ready to jump in to attack me. However, I was quick on the draw and grabbed a delivery bag and pushed it in front of the opening. The dog did not bother to enter. It barks, barks and barks and then runs to the driver’s side to continue its annoying barking. I have to deliver this package and I will. I grab the package that is to get delivered to the house, which was just a light envelope but had a little weight to it. I let down my driver's side window and throw the package towards the house and luckily it landed in a really great spot.

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Woo-hoo! I delivered the package! The dog continues to bark. I take a picture of the package for proof of delivery and close out the stop. Done! I back the vehicle out of the driveway and wave at the dog — goodbye! “Nice doing business with you!” On my way out I noticed something about the dog, his tongue was hanging out of his mouth like Michael Jordan. I say to the dog, “You’re tired! Go get yourself some water.” The dog just continues to sit in the driveway without any attention towards me whatsoever, drowned in its tiredness, breathing profusely.

It appeared as though the dog attempted to keep me from delivering the package. It failed. It put up a good fight but unfortunately for it, it came up short. The package was delivered and I got away without a scratch. No one really won, I guess. A dog’s job is to protect the house, which it did. No one was hurt in the process of delivering the package. Hopefully, next time it recognizes me and gives me a free pass. If not, surely I’ll once again see the tongue of the dog.

The end

P.S.: If you're an Amazon Prime driver and encounter a dog situation as I did, you can do as I did and put a barrier in between you and the dog (recommended in Amazon driver training). Or, carry some dog food with you and throw it out for the dog to fetch and eat.

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