How to Work in an Office Full of Women

A Man in a Women's Office

For over 20 years of my career, I worked in a primarily female staffed office. There were times I was the only male, and several of my co-workers were female. I also primarily had female supervisors. Lastly, as I became a supervisor, I supervised primarily female employees. It was rare to see another male in the office. Some only lasted a few years because they went on to another line of work, or just didn't like the job. It was rare the complaint was because of the women, even though you could tell some of them were uncomfortable with the fact that the office was dominated by women.

However, working with primarily women never bothered me. In fact, it has given me a lot of experience and insight in working with women. It's a unique experience that I haven't experienced in any other work environment.

This article is not meant to be sexist in any way. Men can cause just as many issues and problems as women.

However, rather than tiptoe around what people feel and think, I decided to come right out and say how it's like to work with primarily women. It's better to understand and work with one another, than use our differences to keep us apart.

Men or Women

I've always been comfortable working with women and I've had two happy marriages. Draw what conclusions you like from that.

— Vince Cable

How to Work With Women

Working with women can be a simple and easy experience, as long as you know what to expect. Below are some tips on working in a office that is primarily staffed by women.

1. Love you one second, then hate you the next. While I see men coexist for the most part, women have a love/hate relationship with their co-workers. One moment they will act like your best friend, while the next moment they will avoid you at all costs. I have seen two female co-workers go from being friends to non-speaking enemies. It happens. Just give the them time to cool off.
2. Be careful of office romances. Women tend to expose their feelings more during an office romance. They try to be discreet, but end up telling others. While the male can tend to deny the entire thing. Girls like to talk, so office romances will definitely be something to talk about. I strongly recommend avoiding them. If the relationship ends badly, you could find yourself in a difficult work environment.
3. Watch your eyes. When you are talking to a woman, look at their face, nowhere else. Obviously you can't help but to see certain parts of a female body, it's impossible to always divert your eyes. But at the very least respect them and try to make continuous eye contact. Keep in mind any cultural differences you need to be respectful of as well.
4. That time of the month. Honestly, I haven't worked with any female co-workers that openly talk about this. I haven't been able to tell when it's their time of the month, despite working with them for years, nor was it any of my business. They act normal either way. However, sometimes females will have female problems. They can't help talking about it, especially if they need assistance from another woman. Most times they would apologize if I happened to hear a comment, but I dismissed it.
5. Women can be emotional. They also carry their personal problems into the office. They can cry, get upset, and let their personal lives affect what is going in the office. The same can be said for men, but women are a lot more transparent when it comes to that. Just try to be sympathetic to whatever their current problem is.
6. Women sometimes don't know how to react to a man in the office. I worked with one woman who didn't know how to handle me, strictly because I was male. She felt like she couldn't discuss certain topics around me, or she had to be careful with the things she did.
7. Be prepared to be "one of the girls". I constantly heard, "the ladies in the office" and other common sayings come from those who came into the office. Once they see me, they try to correct what they previously said. If you are a male in the office, expect to become one of the girls.
8. Women can offend easily. Watch what you say to a female co-worker. They can be offended. I have made neutral comments or even a casual joke, only to wind up being talked to by my boss because they took offense to it. So watch the words you say. Women will strain to hear what you say sometimes, just to see if it will be useful later.
9. Gossip, gossip, gossip. Men can gossip, but women do it so much more and cause so many more problems due to it. I have seen a simple statement get so twisted and convoluted, it's not even the truth by the time it circulates around the office. Be careful of everything you hear and don't fall prey to the gossip.
10. Women can be a lot more difficult than men. Between all of these issues, women can be much more difficult than men to handle. I was once told a story by my boss. In a previous job she worked at, she had to deal with a small handful of women, while dealing with a bunch of men. She had a lot more problems with just those few women than with the many men she had to work with.

I know this is mostly geared towards helping men, but some of these tips can apply to women as well. You may even see things that you could be doing yourself and find a way to fix them.

How many females in your office?

How to Supervise Women

Supervising people, no matter the gender, can be very difficult. I've had to supervise women in multiple positions, and made some mistakes along the way. However, in time I learned how to effectively supervise women. Below are some suggestions when supervising women.

1. Be careful how you handle how a woman dresses. If your office has a dress code, be tactful when addressing it with an employee, especially if you are male. If it seems like you were gawking at the employee, then it can be considered sexual harassment, even if that's not the case. In some cases that I had to address how an employee dressed, I had a female supervisor handle it. It was much more appropriate that way.
2. Be understanding of female issues. Sometimes females will miss work due to various womanly problems. Try to be understanding, especially if you are a male. I once wrote an employee up for missing too much work. However, I did not know this employee had suffered a distressing situation that only applies to woman. I only found out after another employee confronted me about it in the office.
3. Women will use all available emotions against you. When I had to talk to a certain employee in the office, she tried a variety of emotions to get me to react. She would cry, get upset, yell, act defiant, etc. Men don't typically do that. They either accept the problem or get mad. I just learned to be stone faced when dealing with a disciplinary issue. It was the best way I could handle the situation.
4. Sexual harassment isn't an issue if you are respectful. I have yet to have one female employee file a complaint against me for sexual harassment. I have a policy of not dating anyone at work. You should have the same policy. I was always respectful to my employees, no matter the gender.
5. Praise them at their work. For the most part, men come in, do their job, and go home. However, women like to receive praise for the work they do. One complaint I heard, always from women and not from the men, is that no one would receive praise. This is from people who just performed a standard job. But the praise does work in the case of a female.

Again, a lot of these points are for men. But a woman can take just as much of an advantage from these tips.

Which Gender is Easier?

Conclusion

Honestly, the best co-workers and leaders I have worked with have all been women. They were my mentors and teachers. While I have had male superiors, I just simply connected better with women.

In the end, gender shouldn't matter. I don't see someone and base my conclusions on what gender they are. I just work with them. But I also know I need to be cognizant of everything that occurs in the office, for the betterment of myself and those I work with.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

© 2013 David Livermore

Comments

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on May 03, 2020:

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Thank you as well for your insight!

Carrie Lee Night from Northeast United States on May 02, 2020:

Interesting and fun hub :) I have worked with a few jobs that were all men and I can say I liked it better. Men just seem more to the point, not catty and dont usually cause drama. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed your perspective :)

Crystal on August 30, 2018:

Thank you for this article. It helps to know that everyone struggles working with women and it's not personal. My office has two guys and ...30 women? I only feel like I'm truly cool with the guys. The women are always going to my boss when something goes wrong and I'm even remotely involved. And she always brings it to my attention. I'm going insane and want to quit. Maybe knowing others struggle too will help me ignore it. :P I don't understand why it's so hard to just chill the chinga out!

MDB on March 15, 2018:

This article is not sexist. It's mostly FACT. I'm currently working in an environment where I'm the only guy. The amount of cattiness, gossip and unstable emotions that fill the office is unbearable. I mean they are not even nice to each other.

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on June 28, 2017:

Wow... this is a backwards way of thinking. While that is your personal opinion, it's not what this article is about. It's about how to coexist, not how women should be barefoot and pregnant at home.

KeepWomanAtHome on June 28, 2017:

I work in a office mix with Woman and man, I have been sharing an Office with a Man and then 2 Woman. I can tell you that working with a Man is so much easier. They don't try to get your attention all the time and let you do your work. They don't sing song when they happy and cry and wine when they have a bit of work to do. They Mostly like to browse Facebook and text and make personal call during work. They lie about the work saying they are busy while reading ebooks. The mood changes often and there need to attention and to talk is the most annoying. If woman don't get your attention they will breath loud, wine, complaints, type very loud on keyboard try anything to show that they need someone to care about them. While Men are just trying to get their own work done and go home. Woman will take advantage of every situation to do as little as possible and leave work early take long lunch time and chat. Very difficult for Man to get any work done while sharing a space with a woman, did I mention the singing, then wining. Our ancestors were very clever to leave them at home.

LILY VY LE from Tokyo- Japan on June 21, 2017:

I am working in the place where most of the my co workers are women, only manager is man. I think it is not easy to work with woman (even though I am woman too) as well as to have real good relationship with them. I have to struggle how to work with them everyday.

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on March 28, 2017:

Thank you for understanding. My last job had me working in an office full of women and I enjoyed the experience. Instead of being scared to discuss topics, I feel they should be brought up openly so that both genders can understand one another in an office environment.

Martine Andersen on March 28, 2017:

Hey!

I can see why people find this article sexist, but a lot of the points you mention are true. I work in a an all women-environment and it can be exhausting at times. I've had other bosses in the past (also women) and they tend to act like you described.

A work environment should be equal in the sexes department, 50/50 men and women, that's coexisting. Yin needs yang, and vise versa. Loved the article.

Art on October 30, 2016:

Decent article Dave

But disagree with 'overly bonding with the women in the office'.

Would a single man want to hear about tales of childbirth, menstrual cramps, or hot flashes? Of course not. It's important to be friendly, but also maintain your own boundaries.

JC on July 18, 2016:

Lol. Well, I'm a man, and I WAS considering attending an interview for an administrative assistant at my job in two days. Not a promotion, lateral, but more cushy. I work out "in the field" and this job interview is for an office job. I spoke with a female co-worker that works every two weeks at that office and every two weeks in the field. She told me about all the drama etc. and she CAN NOT stand it. This article describes how she described her office. So this article is dead on. She's one of the lesser drama types, more straight forward and less emotional etc. I listened to her talk about it, but I had already applied. Mind you, this is an ALL female work environment with about 25+ women. They only seem to hire women too. I just came out of an interview for that office a month ago (an actual promotion though) and I didn't get it because they gave the job to two women that already work up there and just promoted them. Basically, I was perfect for them so they could "show" that they interviewed a male. But anyway.

After reading this article and hearing from that female co-worker and other men here, I don't think I'll enjoy working there. Yes, it's more cushy, but I don't want to be stuck working like that. As a man, I already know I'm an easier target for EEO related issues.

Side note: It is funny how many of the negative commenters here that trashed the author for this "sexist" article etc., also simultaneously agreed with what he wrote in the article. Smh. I commend the author for actually telling his truthful perspective. People are so sensitive these days. It's refleshing to read actual real life experiences without having to "cover-up" and tip toe around others as not to offend. He did it truthfully and with class. Nothing wrong with that. My hat is off to the author. Keep up the good work.

James on April 22, 2016:

Thanks for the article, I am about to lose my mind working with the women in my office, they are certified emotional vampires and gold standard gossip gurus. I am going ask god to help me find another job. I mean really, I am just about ready to go to the psychologist.

Unless your the author. women don't bother responding.

Frankburt on March 01, 2016:

Hahaha! To Nick, dude, I can't even tell you how much you just described my work environment. I'm still trying to navigate this, but I think we need to have solid guy friendships outside of where we work. Also, it's very, very important to realize you are not the crazy one. Say it with me, Nick: I AM NOT THE CRAZY ONE!! Let that be your mantra, my man. Suffering with you in solidarity - Frankburt

Nick on November 27, 2015:

Im the only man with 5 women, and it can be rough at times. I try to be apart of things, and it's like I'm not there. When I just sit back and observe they're all concerned about what's wrong with me or why I'm being anti-social. I'm friends with them all so one at a time they're great, but together they just tend to gang up on me. I'm not an emotional guy at all, but when I bring the issues up, I'm either ignored or told to "man up" Then if I do that I'm the one being harsh or insensitive. I can't win. I feel like I'm in a relationship with all of them without any of the benefits. I get picked apart for everything I do, but if they do the same no one says a word. It's getting to the point where I feel like I need to quit, but career wise this is a good place for me to be. The job itself is my dream job, but the constant women's issues and critiquing everything about me just ask a girlfriend would do is driving me insane. Work wise I'm fine, it's just all the down time and the never ending girls hour.

Colin on August 12, 2015:

Hello and thanks for the article. I work with and for 8 women, let me emphasize for them. My coworkers attitude toward me can turn on a dime. Presently i am struggling with micro management from them and need some techniques to handle it. Honestly i am thinking of departing my current employer because of this. Thanks.

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on June 20, 2015:

"How do I keep a happy karma with my coworkers?"

It doesn't matter the office environment, more than likely you won't. Someone will always be unhappy, sad, upset, etc. But as a supervisor you are expected to keep things under control and treat everyone fairly. If you do that, then you shouldn't have too many problems. At least problems that are not out of your control.

Jason on June 19, 2015:

I think your article will help me out. I come from 17 years of manufacturing and just took a job at my family's business. I am the only man that works in the bottom part of the office. I work with 4 women. Three of them I have known for many years but one for only a few weeks. Although I know these people, I still have a hard time with second guessing myself on what to do and not to do. One of them is always stressed out and in a bad mood, one is negative, one is neutral and is kinda the office mom and one is perky and nothing ever gets her down. Then there is me, a 40 yr. old man that has worked with mostly men and in manufacturing. I was a printer now I work in an office BIG CHANGE for me to get used to. I am a cool guy that just wants to do the job and get home to the family. My stepdad hired me to get me out of manufacturing and 12hr word days. How do I keep a happy karma with my coworkers?

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on March 06, 2015:

Sometimes you don't get that choice. I sincerely hope you have never had a leadership role in any work organization.

Please discontinue leaving comments in this article. They will just be deleted.

Thank you.

RD on March 06, 2015:

David,

We're all entitled to our thoughts

I find you and your beliefs pathetic.

Most men in any field want to work with other men or a mixed group (mostly men and maybe 2-3 girls)

Most women in any field, you get them all together, they will not shut up and can irritate the hell out of person (PMS, menopause, meaningless conversations they have). For a man to have to be subjected to this every day - it is poison.

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on March 01, 2015:

And you just set back the human race about 100 years. Please don't breed.

RD on February 28, 2015:

The guy who wrote this is an effeminate jackass

Any "real man" who has two balls would never want to work in an office filled with all women

Women in general are emotional vampires who lack common sense and reason. Why the f--- would a fella wanna associate openly if he was the only man in an all women office?

Curtis Dowe on February 07, 2015:

I think I understand where you are trying to go with this article, as I too work with 5 women and know the dynamic. However I feel this article is somewhat sexist or your wording needs some tweeking. Woman are all very different types just like men, some are emotional some are not. Some get in volved in gossip, others don't. Each individual has their own attributes and I think you painted all women with the same brush in this article which makes it, in my opinion, lack a realistic view.

Max on July 07, 2014:

David, thank you for the advise! I totally agree with you.

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on January 28, 2014:

Thank you. I'm glad you understand where I am coming from.

Jean Bakula from New Jersey on January 28, 2014:

I think you did a good job here. I grew up at the height of women's lib, and don't think you said anything sexist. Women are mean, they gossip more and don't get over things as fast as men. They will have love/hate relationships, while guys will just get over it. Since women deal mostly with the children, even if they have a husband, the men don't do much more at home when the woman works. So schools have delayed openings, early dismissals, kids coming home sick, and women have to deal with all that. You seem to have a good grasp of that. At my age I have come to the conclusion men and women have differences, it's not a unisex world. And who would want one? We all have positive and negative traits which have nothing to so with sex.

David Livermore (author) from Bakersfield, California, United States on January 18, 2014:

I have nothing against women, and have enjoyed my time working with women. I have years of experience in this, and is based on my own observations. It's not meant to be sexist or be full of stereotypes. Also, women, especially those who have been my supervisor, have made these comments as well about an office full of women.

Jaye Denman from Deep South, USA on January 18, 2014:

David - I am a retired human resources director who supervised men and women during my three-decade career. I'm also a woman. From both perspectives, I find this article sexist and full of stereotypes. It strikes me as your attempt to get some resentment off your chest.

Sometimes it's better to write whatever helps you let off steam (therapeutic writing), and then...hit the DELETE button.

informationshelte on November 19, 2013:

Hi davidlivermore,

Not many men would take the courage to express their thoughts honestly and publicly, when it comes to such a sensitive issue, as gender relations in the workplace are.

Criticism can be perceived under a lot of personal angles, and I am sure, although there are not many comments to your article, the majority of female employees reading it would probably have negative or at least mixed feelings about it.

However, your honest way of expressing your personal feelings and thoughts should be praised.

As you have already stated in your post, you welcome any reverse criticism, and that would help so that the other side is heard.

My personal verdict:

It's a typical Yin and Yang case:

everything and everyone has a bad side and good side.