Ben is scientist, teacher, researcher and author who loves to help you to be more, do more and achieve more. He is an Amazon kindle author
Life Coaching Books
Be more, Do more, and Have more
Coaching is a word that is mostly misunderstood.
What is coaching? What do coaches do?
And what experience qualifies an individual as a coach?
Coaching is a method of facilitating another persons learning, development, and performance. From this definition, the coach and the person that is coached (the coachee) are in a relationship of trust and the aim is to move the coachee from position A to B. This transformation can be in any of these areas:
- To help them find solution to their problem
- Develop their own skill
- change their own behaviour
- change their own attitude
- And improve their performance
Ultimately the idea is to help the person being coached to change their perceptions about who they are, what they are able to do and to change their experience and the therefore improve their performance. The coaching interaction could culminate to helping them to change their standard of what is possible to enabling them change their limiting believe and hence develop new strategies to change their experience and therefore their performance. The coaching relationship facilitated through questioning helps the coachee to be able to assess resources that are readily available to them which the coach could bring to light through powerful questioning skills. This is made possible through developing frameworks to assess the internal dialogues leading to dis-empowering beliefs on part of the coachee. Perhaps the following questions will help to challenge the status quo of in the coaching relationship and help to discover the strategies to move the client out of their comfort zone.
Who do you desire your client to become ?
What do you want them to be able to do?
What do you want them to experience?
The above questions takes care of their desires (or wanting more) at different levels - soul, mind, heart, and senses. The souls is always willing to be more, their mind is always willing to do more and know more; the heart is always longing to love more and have more and the senses are always wanting to enjoy more. As the coach therefore you should be knowledgeable about ways to satisfy the human dynamics of desire - wanting more is a natural state. There is nothing wrong with desire. Abundance, growth, love, pleasure and movement toward more is the nature of life.
"Whenever there is inexperienced possibility or function not performed; there is unsatisfied desire. Desire is possibility seeking expression, or function seeking performance."
- William D Wattle
The coach therefore, should be able to know the key coaching equation:
Performance = Potential - Interference
(P = P - I)
As a coach you should be able to help your clients to identify their own interference such as:
- Fear of success
- Self sabotage
- Lack of self -confidence
- Self condemnation
- Poor concentration
- Trying too hard
- Lack of will -power
- Being a perfectionist
- 77 Habits of Highly Successful Coaches, p.30
According to Shelagh Young; "How to be a Successful Life Coach. AS guide to setting up a profitable coaching business", If someone asks you what you do as a coach try telling them this:
"I help you to find out what you really want to do. Then I help you work out how you will do it and when."
From the forgoing statement, the coach helps the client to do the following:
- Help them find out what they really want to do
- Helps them work out how to do it
- Help them set out the timing - when
Help them find out what they really want to do
The coach help the client to figure out their core values - what they want. It's focuses on the issue of their identity, who they are. This is mainly about their believe system - their value, belief and attitudes. In fact it describes their purpose - the why thy do what they do. It is a journey the coach goes with the client in total trust and is facilitated through advanced communication via questioning skills
Help them work out how to do it
This is a case of strategy and the coaching in agreement with the client develops a framework to help the client to realize their goal successfully.
Help them set out the timing - when
This is the case of time and space. The coach and the coachee has to decide when the activities towards the realization of the clients goals will take place. Here time of great essence. The 'when' of coaching is the golden key in coaching. This is because it sets the yard stick as to what is to be achieved and when. \the success of the coaching sessions is dependent on actually reaching the milestone set together between the coach and client as to what is to be done and when. The real success for the exercise is defined by the goal achieved. Hence, good intention are the starting point not the end point of effective coaching. The coach in this regard is the accountability partner to the client - making sure that the milestones are reached.
Coaching therefore about removing limiting beliefs and keeping the client convinced of of his/her ability to make positive change,