Pushing the envelope... Too far
Bollocks, I don't believe this! Just last week I was having so much fun with the Ranger Tremor that I'd forgotten to maintain my truck and would you believe it? The graboid broke on me, the poor thing.
See, that's what happens when you push things to the extreme. In many cases, they could just break on you. Or worse, kill you. Take for example Scott from Kentucky Ballistics. Somewhere in early 2021, his RN-50 rifle nearly killed him. I remember him saying something about shady ammo that he didn't really know much about. That same shady ammo was rated at a higher psi which resulted in extreme pressures.
Had his father not been there with him, there wouldn't be a Kentucky Ballistics channel anymore.
I believe a change of guards are in order
So one day last week, I woke up to see a Chevy Colorado High Country Storm parked out the driveway for me to test. "ah" I thought to myself as I looked out the window on this beautiful sunny day in Asia.
"Yet another truck that must be thrashed hard by my right foot" I thought again to myself as I went in and did my morning glory. There's very few things men thing of more than thrashing a car. The thrill and adrenaline rush of high octane flowing through your veins this early in the morning.
I suppose banging the daylights out of your wife or leashing your nuclear-powered children after their early morning yelling contest would be more thrilling.
As I opened the front door, I was greeted by a man with a key and he abrutply left. As I had the keys to the truck, I couldn't believe how strange it was in the blue color. I'm aware the ZR1 or ZR2 in North America also come in blue but they seem lighter than this. This seemed more sinister; darker. It had an ominous feeling to it like the shark in Jaws.
Looking to my left, I saw the Ranger Tremor on my flatbed waiting to go off to the service center. So, with a heavy heart, I opened the door and climbed aboard.
Darkness shall not avail you!
As soon as I closed the door, I opened it again and got out to check the accenting. "God above" I said out loud as I saw, with my own eyes, how gorgeous it looked. We don't have these accents on the ZR1 or ZR2 in America.
Granted, they have bigger engines over there than in Asia and the ZR1 and ZR2 can just as easily play off road like this one but they don't look the part. I absolutely adore the black side accents on the rear door and the black fender flares. Plus the hood decals just make this truck a F***ing looker!
Yes, it doesn't look like an F-22 or the Zumwalt class of destroyers but it's pretty damn good. Think of the F-14 or the Arleigh Burke class of destroyers and you'll see what I mean.
If I were able to afford 3 trucks plus their respective comprehensive insurance packages, I'd take the Ranger, Triton and this for sure.
This isn't your average Joe truck where, unlike in Asia, it has 2 engine options. Asia gets the 2.8L Inline-4 turbodiesel but Murica gets that and a 3.6L V-6 petrol engine. But since I'm in Asia, this unit has the two-eight with 200 heavy horse and 370 pounds feet of torque.
That's on par with most trucks here in Asia like the Mitsubishi Triton/Strada or the Toyota Hilux and others. To put this in perspective, 370 lbs-ft is 500 Newton meters and that's enough to rip a man in half twice.
This truck also uses a 6 speed automatic like everyone else in the Asian market that builds pickup trucks. And for you purists out there, you're gonna have to suck it up buttercup cause not only is this an automatic but it has a "manual mode" so if I heard the salesman correctly, this should have the controllability of a manual. Though I don't see any paddles.
So, with all that wizardry and "whiz-bang" that my Aussie mate told me about, how's this thing like to drive? I opened the door and this time, I put it in drive.
Taming the beast
On the road, she's relatively comfy to drive. Yes, she's a bit rough round the back but that's to be expected of trucks like this with the traditional and legendary ladder frame chassis.
Hell, this thing drives like the ZR1 or ZR2 for crying out loud. Doesn't seem like much has changed aside from the market it's meant for and the gorgeous accents outside that give it that very sexy and aesthetically pleasing look.
However, this thing has a very unique system. It really is like riding Harry Potter but not in that awkward sense. I mean, there's a button in here somewhere that, once pressed, turns the typical hard-ish pickup truck suspension into something of a magic carpet ride but if there is such a button, I sure as hell can't find it.
The handling on this thing is also remarkably well balanced. I don't recall driving a truck with this much stability except maybe that one time I got to drive a mate's used FPIU or Ford Police Interceptor Utility. Those things are like F-22's; extremely maneuverable and quick.
For those of you who are wondering, this thing has a top speed of about 195 to 200 kilometers an hour (120 to 125 miles an hour) depending on the road gradient. Don't expect to get to those speeds because Asia is quite crowded. Trust me. I've only just started and I'm stuck at 20 mph. But where this thing shines, however, is where most dedicated, hi-performance pickups are meant to shine. Off-road.
How the world ends
"AAAHHH" I yelled to myself as I sped up to 50 kilomerers an hour up the rocky hill and onto the corner. "WHOA" I yelled to myself again as I had to slam the brakes to prevent me from crashing into the bush.
Now, I have to say, I need to slow down a bit because this isn't mine and I won't get into the Ranger I damaged. You don't wanna hear the Mrs droning on about how much of a petulant child I am to my machines.
So for this little bit, I decided to take a small detour and go mudding instead. Yes, I know this is equally dangerous as there could be something under the water that'll smash the radiator and since I'm out in the middle of nowhere with no signal, I'll really be in for the hurt.
Mind you, before I left, I'd forgotten to check under her skirt to see if she's armed with a bash plate or not. "man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" says me as I gently added diesel to the engine and crept slowly into the pond in front of me and my deliverance.
Being a blithering idiot, I remember Jeremy Clarkson giving good advice by using speed and power so, with a mighty bellow, I yelled FREEDOM like Mel Gibson in Braveheart - and got stuck.
The 800mm wading depth was high enough that the engine was still running but not high enough that I could be set free from this perilous bondage. My heart started to race as I was holding back my panic.
I'm out in the middle of nowhere, with no gear and no weapons and no radio. If you don't hear from me in a few days, I'm here in.....
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.