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The Biggest Penis in the World

Peter is an independent international zoo consultant, critic and writer with over 50 years of work within zoos.

Some people get really hung up about penis size. There are big ones and small ones and some with really unusual shape.

The largest penis in the animal kingdom in relation to body size belongs to the barnacle. The barnacle’s penis reaches out as much as eight times its body length. In an average sized human male this is the equivalent to having a penis 64 feet long! Such an endowment would be somewhat of an embarrassment to a human male and mean that your lover would have to position herself at the bottom of the garden. This is how it is for barnacles all the time. They are rooted to the spot and so it is the penis that goes out for the night on the town visiting neighbours who are also stuck at home.

Goose Barnacles on a Rock

Goose Barnacles

Goose Barnacles

The barnacle is a type of crustacean and so related to crabs and lobsters. The barnacle tends to be stuck to one place however, usually tidal rocks. Some, by choice of attachment get out and see the world, perhaps on the back of a seashell, the hull of a ship, the skin of a whale and even the tongue of a sea turtle.

The barnacle loses his penis each year. ‘His’ is a loose term because the barnacle is a hermaphrodite (both male and female) and so as likely to be mated as it is to mate. The penis grows again each year in time for the breeding season. The size of the penis is determined by the sea conditions. Calm waters will mean a longer thinner penis. Rough waters a shorter thicker one.

Barnacle Penis

Barnacle Penis

The breeding season for the barnacle is a fairly short one and so they like to take advantage of every minute of what little time they have. They certainly have the best of both worlds. Some will mate as a male for a few hours and then change over and be mated as a female for a while. Barnacles are quite keen on group sex too with as many as six males mating a ‘female’ at the same time.

As can be expected from a creature with a large penis and such stamina that eating it is considered to be an extremely potent aphrodisiac. This is particularly so in the case of the Goose Barnacle which is harvested around the Galician coast of Spain. The Goose Barnacle is increasing in popularity as a food as celebrity chefs use it on TV foodie programmes.

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Peter Dickinson (author) from South East Asia on February 18, 2011:

gr82bme and dallas93444 - Thank you for your comments. I suppose you noted that the article was being Penalized (theres a pun) by lack of ads. Even from before it was published.

Dallas W Thompson from Bakersfield, CA on February 18, 2011:

...glad I am not a barnacle!

gr82bme from USA on February 18, 2011:

LOL, this was fun

Peter Dickinson (author) from South East Asia on February 17, 2011:

Thank you for the reminder. I will have to look up the words. Was he ever on 'The Good Ship Venus'?

4hourmike from Thailand on February 17, 2011:

Peter, did you ever hear that bawdy song about "Barnacle Bill the Sailor"? I think this sheds some light on the original of his nickname.

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