My pattern has always been not knowing when to walk away. Meeting Adam and running from him.. taught me how to walk away from unhealthy situations. He set a standard and showed me how being treated with respect and being valued looks like and feels like. BUT I wasn't used to it... so I ran..
To the ones that taught me how to live by practicing certain principles in all my affairs... They believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and they showed me how to walk hand in hand through life with a power greater than myself. I wouldn't be here without them all......
I wrote this a long time ago when I was in Alanon to support my dad. I added to it and edited it when I was in active addiction. In recovery, I added more to it and asked my friend Shawn to help with the editing. I didn't understand how bad being an enabler was until I was the one being enabled.
After the damage and trauma I went through with my ex-husband, my ex-boyfriend, and the last man I loved passing away.... I found myself thinking I could take on every fear. I'm not ready for romance or love or anything more than friends for so many reasons...
A glimpse of the traumatic moments in life that kept me frozen in fear only to finally come to realize.... it was all temporary. (Trigger Warning)
I lost my grandma, my great uncle, and my boyfriend all within the last few years and I spiraled into such a dark place. Today, I realize they gave me the gift of fighting for my life. I've learned to let go because they're still with me in my heart.
A friend once told me that my ex's hustle for his addiction was me. Those words have haunted me since the moment he spoke them into existence
Mothers... they're stronger than we realize.. stronger than they realize.
I love music. It inspired this poem full of stressed rhymes and little to no structure. In my experience, this is what it felt like just before I decided to get clean and sober: stressful and with little structure. It feels much different now that my recovery is protected and prioritized.
Mourning the life I left behind that lead me down a dangerous path. The realization that any life on the streets or using isn't worth it. It's either that life or death by my own choices.
The first time I was introduced to my DOC. It was the day that started the most painful journey of my life. Addiction is difficult. It's a daily struggle, but I wouldn't be the woman I am today if I never walked down that road.
Childhood trauma came to light recently. I've been working towards letting go and processing it. I don't know how just yet, but I'm sure I will someday.
Hitting the so called "rock bottom" and not knowing how to climb my way out. Thinking I needed someone else's hand to help me but realizing I'm the only one that can save me from the demons that came with the choices I made in life. My ex said there's an invisible force in the way. I disagreed.
Trauma Bond - a connection between an abusive person and the individual they abused. Living with PTSD from an opioid addiction and the only two serious relationships I've ever been in full of abuse and gaslighting. This is where I am in life.
Lost between right and wrong. Thinking you're on the right path just to find out you're not. In too deep and waiting for a lifeline: a way of escaping or simply coping with your decisions. Lost in that dark place called the waiting room before a spark of light shows you the path leading to darkness.
I deserved better but I never left him because I understood why he did it. Reflection of my marriage and the very reason we decided to get a divorce.
My personal reaction and analyzation of Theodore Roethke's "My Papa's Waltz."
My personal, analytical, and academic reaction to the first time I read the Short Story "Dubliners-Araby" by James Joyce.
Analyzing Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural through defining traits of classical mythological heroes. SPOILERS from season 1 to season 8!!
Works exceedingly well with leftover ham. I love chowder, and I love any chance I can make something out of my leftovers!
Searching for a very easy, fool-proof brownies from scratch with recipe with cocoa powder? I did too before I found and tweaked this one! My family and I call this my perfect brownie recipe!
A common thought brought up by a conversation between a couple in the midst of a break-up.
A basic chocolate chip cookie recipe that leaves your children with smiley faces and gooey chocolate all over their hands and face!
An academically written definition of the visual arts.
A non-fictional short story of an unfortunate incident for a latchkey kid that left a significant scar-emotionally and physically.
An academic observation about using drawing to brainstorm a painting while analyzing and exemplifying Raphael's Alba Madonna.
A reflective love poem.
A reflective poem about a secret that should have never been uttered aloud. One sentence that destroyed one relationship. This is one of my much older poems.
When you just want to give up. When you have nothing left to give.
Don't have Bisquick and don't want to buy it for those yummy drop biscuits we all know so well from Red Lobster? Here's a pretty amazing copycat recipe that your guests or family will devour!
A reflective poem made from complete anger of a relationship ending on a bad note in the form of cheating.
A reflective poem after hearing another friend committed suicide on the 3rd anniversary of a close friend's suicide.
A poem about giving up and running away when one shouldn't.
A poem written solely on frustration.
Just another sad love poem about a woman who misses her love who has passed away.
A poem about the pains and tortures of love.
A deal made. Acceptable to one. Heartbreaking to the other. One more week together knowing it will be over at the end of that last week.
A poem about a forced loss of virginity due to the pressures of a social group.
A poem about the surreal realization that you still have feelings for the person who broke your heart.
The beginnings of thoughts and feelings about a new or first love between two.
Poem about a love thought to last and mistaken by a girl.