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Sometimes Accountability Hits the Wrong Person
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Parents should never feel helpless
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How Troubling
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School Concerns. I Simply Do Not Understand
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Trudge on Fitness Seekers
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Nice Compliment but is it enough?
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There are just times.....
It is easy to think that once you reach adult hood that growing has ended. This is not true. We grow throughout our entire lives. We outgrow clothes, we outgrow styles, we outgrow opinions and we outgrow friends. They say that people do not...
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Scrolling through "Fake Book"
As a special needs mom, I have found myself scrolling through social media far more than I care to admit. Recently, we spent a weekend with very little internet access. It was a wonderful, and relaxing few days. As I returned to my laptop to...
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The View from the Bench
The Try outs are over, the cuts are made. The rejoicing begins over the roster spot you apparently have earned. You believe that now that you wear the uniform, you are actually going to go out on the field or on the court and be a part of the games....
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Being Grateful is a State of Mind
So it has not been the summer of my dreams. Not so far. We are plagued by loss, by illness and by responsibilities that have limited our ability to do what we normally do. It is very easy to become depressed or lose focus of what we have. So we must...
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Looking towards the Heavens
I was scrolling through my Facebook friend list last night looking for friends to share a great article with when I started to notice the number of names on my list of friends now deceased. As a woman under 50, this is a fact I find rather...
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Some days I cannot be optimistic
So often I read blogs from parents of autistic kids that are filled with optimism and acceptance of their children for who they are. I think they are wonderful and uplifting. I have many days when I feel as though our son gives us strength, and...
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One of the Longest Years
Last year, we had an amazing year. Our team won the Superbowl, we went to their parade and saw our favorite athletes up close. We were able to go to Disney and Universal Studios plus enjoyed the NBA Allstar game and festivities. Our great year did...
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But it's only......
For the past ten years, I have spent many hours on a soccer field. Whether it be the field located at the school my son attends, or one of the many fields in my community, I am found there, cheering, talking with friends, enjoying my children and...
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Our battle has ended...for now...the future awaits
On Tuesday morning, my son graduated from High School. Once he was handed his diploma, his relationship with the New York City Department of Education was severed. They are no longer required to provide him with services. I have panicked about this...
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How I became a strong person
Much of my childhood was spent hiding behind my mother. I was very shy and would prefer to play quietly in my room then be part of a large and noisy group. As a performer, I would be sure that I was part of the chorus, rather than a soloist although...
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The Power of Many
In the past few months, so many of us have learned who will show up when the going gets tough. We, here on the East Coast of the United States saw an overwhelming response to the devastating results of Hurricane Sandy in our area. So many showed up...
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Mother Nature's Fury knows no boundaries
Two months ago my home town was beaten and tossed about by the fury of two storms colliding with a cold front at high tide on the night of a full moon. Many places could bear this type of storm, but an island that was already sporting a battered...
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Weeping for the innocent
Yesterday I was having what I thought was a bad day. I was sick, had an issue with my phone company that was not resolved the way I wanted it to be, continued on to have a problem with my cable and then an upsetting phone call from my Asperger son's...
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Lessons Learned, New ways to think
As a parent of a special needs child who is now a special needs young adult, I feel as though I have done nothing but learn from experience. Trying treatments, doctors, school programs and behavior plans is a regular occurrence in our home....
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Hang on to the simple moments
Tonight my ten year old dropped my laptop. She was not given permission to be walking with it, nor was her brother innocent when he teased her which is why she dropped it. Or she dropped it and he fell on it, the story is not clear. I have also...
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Selfish Parenting: Not always the best route
As a parent of a child with a disability plus two "neurotypical" children, I am exposed to many different types of parenting styles. What I have noticed more and more is a brand of "selfish parenting". They proclaim this to me and to others, this...
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Think long and hard, then speak
This past weekend, our country suffered through a tragedy. The violence was enough to make us stop, hug our children tighter and mourn alongside a community even if we have no physical connection to them. The initial shock has passed, a suspect is...
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Shedding the Skin, relief for parents of disabled children
I feel as though I have finally shed the skin that enveloped itself around me and my family for the past 13 years. The veil of mystery, the lack of comprehension that pushed itself into our lives without invitation. We lived beneath it for so long,...
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Kind words and a smile can mean so much
In a home where the oldest child often sets the tone for the household, having a special needs child as the firstborn can prove challenging for the siblings that follow in his path. We have made it a point to provide counseling for both of our...
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I Wish I Could Sleep
Yet another night when my head was firmly planted on the softest, coolest part of my pillow, my eyes clamped shut but sleep would simply not come. I cannot turn off my mind, my anxieties, my concerns. As any mother, I worry about ALL three of my...
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Stuck in Nowhere Land. A Teenager with Aspergers
My son just finished Junior year of High School. It was an academically successful year for him. He finished with a 90 average and passed all of his New York State Regents exams. He has now met the qualifications for a NYS advanced regents diploma....
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When Autism hits home, our story
My local newspaper has been running a series for Autism Awareness month called "when Autism hits home". It's a wonderful series that is bringing the issue home by educating the public about their neighbors and what they are going through. I tried to...
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Looking Past High School: Options for my Asperger Son
As we forge ahead to the end of his junior year of High School, I am left with the question: what's next? Unlike many of the friends I have made through this long journey, my son will graduate high school with an advanced diploma. He receives...
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Bullying: What can we do?
In the past few days, the local newspapers where my family resides has been filled with the horrifically sad story of yet another tragic loss of life. A young woman who had had enough. She had been treated badly for so many years, the thought of...
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Tolerating is not supporting
"Newcomer Thomas Horn... holding his own among the adult actors but, forced to behave with excessive shrillness much of the time. That’s because his character may or may not have Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism. You make allowances...
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Wow! What a start to a school year!
Summer vacation ended this year with hurricane Irene, but the school year began with an even bigger storm. As usual, the Department of Education was dragging its feet on sending us the approval letters for the therapies our oldest son who has...
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Getting through these days
This is definitely not the best weekend to be a New Yorker. My husband and I have sought refuge in the start of soccer season. Opening weekend for our league is September 10 and 11th, so we have been working on stocking up the snack stand,...
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Growing up in an Italian-American Family
Just to cause trouble, I often say to people I know have not grown up around Italians that I am cooking gravy. I am well aware that they are going to correct me and tell me that if it is red, it is SAUCE. I always reply that marinara without meat is...
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We Remember very well
Living in NYC, it seems like yesterday that we were heading out the door to work, school or possibly recreation on that glorious September morning. But it wasn't yesterday, it was almost ten years ago. Many changes have occurred in our city, in...
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If only one had to be licensed in order to become a parent.............
Children are such a gift. It is a shame that there are the select few that do not understand that they are gifted with a tremendous responsibility when they welcome a child into their lives. A parent is laying down the foundation for another human...
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Why Are Women Still Treated as Less than Men?
I am truly baffled. Today I read an article which focused on a study done here in the United States. The study stated that marriages were happier when the wife was thinner than the husband. Excuse me? Really? This is the key to a happy marriage? If...
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I don't really want to be here...but I am
My son has joined a Social Skills class. He really loves it. I must be honest, I do not feel that Social Skills classes should be limited to those with special needs. Most people suffer from lack of proper social skills. However, he has a...
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Precious Boy
Over the past ten years my family has traveled to the same vacation spot. It is a private community on a lake, open only to those who own homes in the area or are guests of the residents. We often sit back and observe the comings and goings of the...
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When Aspergers meets miracles
This was one of the worse school years for my son. He had to prepare for four state regents exams. He was miserable almost every single day. It is amazing how professionals cannot comprehend the stress they have placed upon their students. Since...
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Raising children in a world where rules don't seem to matter
I have spent the greater part of this week answering questions from my children about why people behave the way they do. My 9 year old can't understand why people think it is alright to steal from others. My older children were amazed that so...
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What about the Children, it isn't just the spouse who is cheated on.
It's all we hear about these days. Which celebrity is cheating on their spouse this week? It is in the news so often that people have turned a blind eye to adultery. They tend to think it is "commonplace". So many couples cheat on each other that...
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What We Will Never Get Back
As an American, I spent the wee hours Sunday watching and waiting for our President to address the Nation and formerly announce the death of Osama Bin Laden. So many people had already posted the news on Facebook, I was prepared for the speech he...
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Quick judgements are often incorrect assumptions.
When I was a little girl, I remember adults dissecting the word ASSUME for us many times. If you divide the word into three parts you get what you make of yourself if you make an incorrect assumption. Sadly, too many of us are the victims of snap...
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When School is no longer a safe place
Several years ago, it seemed that all we heard about was school violence. As a country we were horrifed and still mourn the loss that befell Columbine High School. We watch television shows and movies that are written purposely to target the subject...
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Aspergers is a Gift, not a disability
I spent the World Autism Awareness day dressed in blue and thinking about my oldest child. What will he do? What is his future going to look like? I worry daily, for him, for my other children. It is an emotional strain that I do not wish on my...
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Sometimes we need to stop and breathe
It has become apparent to me that we are not alone in our frustration as parents of a special needs student. We always gave our son's teachers some breathing room since he has always been a mainstream student who receives therapy services and...
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Square Pegs are not necessarily a problem
I am reading over the descriptions for programs offered in my area for Asperger students. It all sounds good, but when we venture to the schools to look at the programs we were not comfortable. If a program seems to be a true transitional program...
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Dreaded Conversation with my daughter
I must admit I have been hoping that this would not be an issue. I must have had my head in the sand since mean girls come in all shapes, sizes, forms and ages. My daughter is 9 and has been complaining about mean children since she was 3 years...
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Who are the REAL specialists?
One of the most comical phrases I have heard over the past ten years of raising a son with Aspergers is that teaching staff has been "trained" in how to handle him. Really? "Trained"? So each and every student with Aspergers is exactly the same?...
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Back to School: Asperger Style
Shopping for clothes, running through this list. Do we have enough notebooks? Do we have the correct calculator, did we get pencil cases, gluesticks, rulers, folders, whoops.. have to get another package of post its because my 12 year old son...
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Raising sons
What's the best thing about raising sons? They are only angry at you until its time for the next meal. It's true. Daughters will walk around pouting, stamping their feet and crying for hours, days or sometimes weeks. But a son will usually...
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Reading these books is like taking a vacation
Every year I look for the great summer book. The book that I can take to the beach or out floating in the lake. A few years ago, I discovered "Barefoot" by Elin Hilderbrand. I purchased this book while on vacation and before I was even able to...
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Dare to Dream Lifesized
With all there is to see, I became enamored with one special place on a recent trip to the New York City borough of Manhattan. I had been there before, but this time, I think I needed to dream a little bit. Anyone who has spent some time in...
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What happened to my memory?
It's amazing. I can tell someone the children's schedule very easily and trust me, their schedule is anything but easy. With three children attending three different schools at three different stages of development, I find myself running...
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People Watching can be a blast
Whoever said "they are all the same" has never spent a few days truly stepping outside themselves and observing. No two people are the same. They may try to behave in the same manner, or dress similarly, but there are differences between every...
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People are never happy
I must admit this I am truly NOT a people person. I am not a fan of people. Well maybe its not fair to say people, CERTAIN people. As a teacher, I dreaded parent teacher conferences because I preferred to spend time with the...
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Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
Scrunchies, dolls, headbands, stickers, art supplies and various pairs of shoes litter the floor marking the spots she has visited. I remind her to pick everything up. "okay mommy" is the sweet little reply I receive as she goes about...
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Walking is my "ME" time
Sometime this spring I became an addict. A serious one. I find that if I don't get my "fix", I am miserable, depressed, achy and irritable. I have no energy and I snap at everyone who talks to me. I can't focus, I get nothing done in my house or in...
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The Day My Son Tied his own shoe
"Mom! My shoe!" I could hear him stressing in the back seat of my car on a VERY hot July afternoon. "Why did you get me new shoes, why couldn't I just keep the old ones? They were tied the way I liked them." he complained loudly. I quietly explained...
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Aspergers and State Exams
Living with someone who possesses an Asperger Brain is always an adventure. It is especially trying when it comes to exam times. Of course, all students experience stress and anxiety to some level when faced with the task of completing...
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Divorce is not always the simple choice
It's all over the news. High profile divorces. Media frenzy over the scandalous relationships and huge settlements that celebrities are keeping gossip mongers glued to television sets watching talk show after talk show to hear the "scoop"....
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What's REALLY important here?
We are a busy society. We rush from place to place. We are always in a hurry. There is much to do on any given day. I am totally guilty of running through the days, wishing for the end of the day so I can fall back into my bed because I am truly...
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The Gifted and Talented Title should have a spot for those with Special Needs
It's very interesting. My 8 year old daughter tested as "gifted and talented" when she was 6 years old. As a result she is being enriched with a curriculum that is geared for children who test on that level. I do agree with this assessment, I am...
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The Book is ALWAYS better than the movie
There are bookshelves filled with books all over my house. In the living room, hallway, bedrooms, storage room and kitchen. We have enough books to start our own library. My entire family can make an afternoon of heading to our local Barnes and...
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Going to the Mall? What's that?
While attending high school, I was employed in various clothing stores and yes, I worked in a "Mall". It was probably during this time that I developed a deep dislike for going to Malls and shopping. Well, I shouldn't say that I do not like...
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It is so difficult to fight ignorance
In 1943, Leo Kanner first used the term autism in the English language. In 1938, Hans Asperger had begun to study what was called autistic psychopaths in Vienna. He was working with his "little professors" who later were to be known...
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Elizabeth Edwards-Finally a woman fights back
We see it over and over again. The man in the spotlight steps forward. Looks are the cameras and reporters and admits his failure to his family and the public who hold him in high regard as an example to them and their children. Usually next to him...
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Will there be time for me when it all over?
Its interesting. When I worked full time and had an infant son, I longed to be one of those mommies who stayed home all day with her baby. I hated going to work and knowing that someone else was taking him walking in his stroller, singing to him,...
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Giving up is not an option
"We just want him to enjoy his experience here as a student" is what we were hearing. Of course when confronted later on, it was miscommunication. Maybe it was. What we heard as parents was: give up, he can't succeed, so let us...
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Cell phones for Tweens and young Teens
In today's world, it is almost impossible to avoid getting your teens and tweens cell phones. I put it off as long as possible more on principal than any other reason. I kept telling them that it was a luxury that they did not need. However, now...
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Disabled Children: Why are the numbers rising?
Even before my son was diagnosed with asperger sydrome 11 years ago, my colleagues and I had been discussing the rising numbers of disabled children we were seeing. As teachers, we felt as though we were referring children in greater numbers as time...
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Why are we giving them so much attention?
I can't speak for other people, but I for one am getting so tired of hearing about Tiger Woods. He is just the latest in a long line of scandals that our media never tires of exploiting. Don't we have anything better to do? The...
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Living with and Loving the Asperger Mind
There are just so many times we can hear the statistics of a baseball player before we lose interest. Many times, we cannot muster up the enthusiasm to listen to the ins and outs of a video game that he has just learned to beat by...
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The Dysfuntional Family
Years ago someone decided to coin the phrase dysfunctional family. Of course, noone wanted that term to describe their family. It meant that there was something wrong with their lives with the way they were living. With many people,...
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How to show others the positive side of Aspergers
"Your son is the most manipulative child I have ever taught in my many years as an educator." This was the opening line at our very first parent teacher conference with my son's third grade teacher. Most parents would have jumped up, yelled at her...
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Why are humans so easily trapped into addictions?
How many different types of rehab are offered these days? What excuses are people being offered for their inabilities to control themselves today? Of course I understand there are REAL syndromes and chemical imbalances, but we are an...
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Look around you: my Asperger Son's weekend assignment
When he jumped into my car on Friday, my son had a purpose. His counselor had told him to look around. Okay, you say, look around? At what? The sky? The moon? The car next to us, the man dressed in plaid and stripes, the...
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Are you REALLY listening?
In today's climate, it seems that everyone has ISSUES. That is the big word. "He has has issues..." is often whispered when someone is socially inept. This makes inappropriate behavior somehow acceptable. Sadly, when the issues are true ones,...
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What the future holds for my Asperger child
Last month, my son started high school. Like many parents, we are faced with the impending thoughts of "what next?" Most parents are thinking about college, the high cost of it, the possibility of an empty nest when their child goes away or what...
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Don't spill the beans about empty house on Facebook or Twitter
"Miss my hubby, can't wait until he return from business trip" or "Hooray, we have just arrived in sunny Florida, so glad to get away from home." Many people have a habit of putting sentences such as these as their status on social...
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Please don't make me wait another day!!!
Days go by, and I wait. It drives me crazy. I cannot stand waiting for anything, I know that is unreasonable, but if someone requests something of me and I know that it is important, I make it my business to get it to them as soon as...
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Parents, Put the Blackberry Down for minute.........
Columbus Day morning, my children and I decided that we would like to go pumpkin picking. We have gone pumpkin picking on the holiday practically every year since my oldest child could walk. It may be silly and cliche, but we always...
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Two women
Knowing where you come from is essential in forming the direction your life will take. I know that I am quite fortunate that I was able to spend a great deal of time with my grandparents while I was growing up. As a woman, I have been reflecting on...
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Paralyzed by Life
There are so many disorders floating around out there today, it is difficult to decide what is real or what is just an excuse. My honest opinion is that many of them are totally and completely bogus. They are conjured up by specialist who are trying...
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Teachers should be educated in how to handle Asperger students
Okay, let's make this perfectly clear. If I could just TALK my asperger son out of his obsessive behavior, I would be touring the world, making millions of dollars talking other kids out of their syndrome. What don't educated people...
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Planning dinner around an asperger appetite
"Can I have pizza?" is a question I hear on an almost daily basis. On the days pizza is not being requested, my son is asking for fast food. I cannot believe with the amount of times I tell him no, he continues to ask me for these foods. My son...
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Trying to write that best seller.............
In second grade, my friend Tracy and I decided we were going to write a book. I wrote the text and she illustrated. It was about two little girls who made a wish that could turn into birds and fly around whenever they wanted. They could see the...
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How to use Social Networking Appropriately
What's your status? What are you thinking about? What are you doing right now? These are some of the questions that are at the top of the home page on many social networking sites. The questions are written to guide users in ways...
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The Asperger Siblings
While going through my second son's folders while he was in second grade I came across a worksheet that as usual was a bit crumbled and folded. I opened and read it. It brought tears to my eyes. It was titled "Wish Upon a Star" and the students were...
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The Asperger Memory
My phone was ringing earlier this morning. I noted the telephone number and inwardly winced knowing that it was my son's school. Over the past two weeks, we have been treated to several conversations, I will admit, they were pleasant, however, it is...
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Keep Manipulation out of a relationship
Love is a beautiful thing. How many times have we heard that phrase uttered? Pure love, we all want that. So why then do people persist in manipulating others into doing what they want? Why not accept the one you love for who he...
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Trying to understand my Asperger son
How easy it would be to just let my almost 14 year old son just sit quiety and read his books, play his video games and leave him alone. He would like that. But I can't do that. He is growing up. He has to learn how to survive. I HAVE to talk to...
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What happened to our dreams?
The birth of our first child was cause for major celebration. My husband's family had not had a male birth in 27 years. We were young, in love, happy and ready to embrace this little person. It was an ideal pregnancy until the very...
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Why is Aspergers Syndrome so misunderstood?
Book in hand my son gets into my car. He will continue to read the book even though it is not assigned reading and he is no longer in school. Every word that he reads he will retain and often to the dismay of my younger children share with the...
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Family Issues, why can't people just do the right thing?
I have been spending a great deal of time talking to friends who are either in the process of divorce or are still suffering the consequences of a divorce. What I have discovered is that it is much easier to get married than it is to get divorced....
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I never touched coffee until I had my third child
My coffee pot broke last month. I lost my mind. My children even noticed how different I was. I simply could not function. I could not locate what they needed to wear, fortunately they were not in school or camp at the time. I...
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How to get the Department of Education to listen to a parent.
Our child has an IEP, he has had one since he was four years old.(he is now 14) IEP stands for Individual Education Plan, which in my opinion as a teacher and a parent, every child deserves. Since he has an IEP, it means that the services ordered...
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The hope Scouting has brought to my family
My 11 year old son lives a life of challenge. He must go through each day knowing that he has a brother who will never be the brother he wants. My oldest son has aspergers syndrome. This causes him to be obsessive compulsive, engage in repetitve...
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life on the soccer pitch, lets remember why we're there
I admit, I am a bit of a soccer mom. I love spending time on the "pitch" as it is actually called although most people call it a field. My soccer player are 11 and 7 years of age. Therefore, going to see them play should be a fun,...
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Unfolding pages and Various other Aspies distractions
Chewing paper, unfolding pages, picking his cuticles, taking his shoes on and off, scratching, the bathroom, fidgeting, eating the eraser off of the pencil. These are just some of the distractions that my almost 15 year old son with aspergers will...
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Living in my car
My car needs to be cleaned. I am totally aware of that. But I need to stop driving it long enough to do that. What to take out? Not the soccer chairs, I will need those for the two games I will be going to this weekend, plus the three soccer...